All2True Ambassador Watch / Missing Dimension

Intelligent Rebellion
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(For the record, AW regards British Israelism in any form as irredeemably fallacious, totally discredited, and intellectually indefensible.)
The Religious Page

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The Religious Page

Chose the religion best for you!

There's nothing like inventing a religion and that's what we've done here.

You'll have to decide for yourself if it's best for you!

Click on the above consumer report for more details of which religion might be right for you.

Between the theory--the philosophy, if you please--and the practice, there is a great gap.

This gap is known as hypocrisy.

In this great yawning chasm is the human selfishness which is exhibited in religious malpractice.

It just seems that some people don't think the rules apply to them!

Like the Televangelist who wrote the book: "Preachers Do More Than Lay People"

Ministers today, like doctors, no longer make house calls, depending upon who is in the house of course.

And a group of us guys got together and formed:

Premise Keepers!

We’re just a bunch of feel good guys. We get together in droves to celebrate our man-ness. We’re not always neat, we’re not always clean, we’re not always honest, we’re often hypocrites, but we’re always guys (unless we get that sex change we’ve always wanted.)

Image is important to us, so we want to put our best foot forward, whether it’s in a Gucci Shoe, a Birkenstock, or just bare. We want to appear Christian, so we can have excuses to have a good time. There’s nothing like gathering 60,000 of us together in a big stadium and shouting back and forth "We love pizza, yes we do; we love pizza, don’t you too." Then we go home and tell everybody that we were shouting "We love Jesus, yes we do; We love Jesus, don’t you too!"

A lot of us are gay and bi, so this is also a good opportunity to hug cute, good looking straight fellas who don’t have a CLUE what we’ve just done. Mostly though, this is an opportunity to get away from our wives and children for a weekend. Don’t worry, they benefit! We come back refreshed and happier so we can tolerate their nagging and whining again. That’s why we have to do this periodically, or we would go stone cold nuts.

And we cry a lot. It feels good. We’re just emotional feel good guys. We’re the Premise Keepers. We keep the following premises:

  1. We just gotta get away for the weekend once in a while;
  2. You can be religious, as long as it feels good;
  3. Nobody can feel guilty about being what they are or do;
  4. This is strictly a guy thing;
  5. Everybody has to hug and sing;
  6. We have to keep up our image as caring sensitive guys;
  7. We have to look like we’re trying;
  8. Promise anything, just get ‘em off our backs;
  9. We love Pizza.

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Last Updated: Monday, January 17, 2005