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The
TEN COMMANDMENTS
Revised At Ambassador College

The Armstrongs and their myrmidons have spared no effort to inform people that they believe in and uphold the Ten Commandments. However, they never state which version they're referring to. There is the King James version that they teach to church members and students and the "Reviled Slandered version" they themselves practice. We are publishing the "Reviled Slandered version" so Ambassador College (AC) personnel will know which set of rules their leaders are playing by:

I. You shall have no other gods before the Lord-but the doctrines of Herbert Armstrong demand equal time. For it is written in Herbert's booklets that only those who put Herbert's "Work" first in their lives will inherit the Kingdom.

II. You shall not make a graven image-unless it enhances the beauty of AC's campus. Once you have made a sculpted image, you can't bow down to it. Bootlicking, however, is not idolatry and is perhaps advisable at AC as long as you don't literally drop to your knees.

III. You shall not take God's name in vain or misuse it-unless done in Quest/77-though it's all right to attach God's name to unbiblical prophecies and to doctrines for which there is no proof.

IV. Remember the sabbath to keep it holy. The seventh day is the day you must attend church services even if a ding-a-ling is preaching. But remember, you can't work on that day, nor can your manservant, though it was okay to permit Gentile construction firms to erect the Ambassador Auditorium and the Student Center on the sabbath. It's okay to let outside promoters use the campus on the sabbath both to seat people and to park cars for the Rose Parade-so long as you're cut in on the profits. Also, it's fine for apostles to fly on the sabbath and to give lavish banquets for Asian dictators on that day.

V. Honor your father and mother, though starving parents are no shame to a person whose tithes honor Herbert first.

VI. You shall not kill, but shafting, lateraling, and character assassination are fine-if done for the good of Herbert's "Work."

VII. You shall not commit adultery unless you are pastor-ranked or higher. Adultery by low echelon ministers and laymen should be revealed to church administration and recorded and filed, but adultery by pastors or evangelists must be covered up for the "good of the church."

VIII. You shall not steal, but it is ethical to employ fear to extort money from people who can't really afford to give. It's all right to tell people they must tithe or they will end up in the lake of fire-especially if "God's apostle" needs the money-even though the New Testament clearly shows Christians did not tithe to the church.

IX. You shall not bear false witness, but to cover up an apostle's or an evangelist's incompetence, it's permissible to slant facts, quote only sources that agree with you, or tell people only as much as you want them to know while indicating you are divulging all the pertinent details.

X. You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor's, including his wife, but if she consents, that's her husband's problem.

New Commandment: You shall love your neighbor as yourself-especially if he has something on you.

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