Sometimes it may seem that we overestimate Armstrongists, and perhaps that’s true. We’ve debunked British Israelism, shredded Armstrongist beliefs using the Bible itself, explored the evidence, facts and science to demonstrate how stupid and foolish Armstrongism is, while attempting to take the high road of high concept to reasonable conclusions, assuming that people would be reasonable and do research for themselves.

We’ve taken the approach that basically people are seeking the truth and want to know what the facts are. Truth seeking was supposed to be inherent from the statements of Herbert Armstrong given to insist that we “prove all things”.

The thing is that we’ve found this doesn’t work. When confronted with facts, science, evidence and truth, Armstrongists, particularly the leaders, dig in their heels and not only refuse to change, to accept what is true, but they instantly become aggressive apologists attacking the messengers.

What we’ve concluded is that these idiots aren’t as advanced and sophisticated as we may have hoped. Here’s an example from a comment at Banned!:

For those who missed my reply to myth-maker Black Ops Mikey on the Exidus,catch it in the thread dealing with LCG headquarters below Ian Boyne

You see our problem.

We’re going to try a new approach, briefly. We’re going to go with the Least Common Denominator, designed for the low I.Q., uneducated, stupid religious bigot idiots to the right of Genghis Khan, wallowing in the self-righteousness of whatever cesspool they came from, pretending that they are some sort of ‘authority’. In the United States, 23% of the adult population is effectively illiterate and somewhere around 15% to 20% of the adult population has dyslexia. Mississippi adult population has the lowest average I.Q. of any of the states within the United States. It is for these minus I.Q. pill takers that we address this following video, full of colorful metaphors which even the lowest of the LCDs should be able to comprehend:

Hopefully, it’s not too complicated for them.

Ashes to Ashes

Armstrongism is dying.

Grab your shovels, it’s time to get ready to bury it.

There’s no better indicator of the health, or lack of it, than The Journal: Over at Banned!, NO2HWA, in the article, Latest Issue of The Journal: News of the Churches of God is out. he asks the question, “Is it me or are the people that pay for those ads getting crazier by the day?” The answer is that it’s not him and it’s not just the people that pay for the ads, it’s Dixon Cartwright, the staff at The Journal, the people contributing one way or another and the Armstrongists who read it. No sane person would even begin to accept the premise that it’s as benign as it postures itself to be. There’ neither any objectivity nor is there one shred of sanity. The editor fancies himself to be a Journalist, but he’s something quite different.

In fact, let’s see what a real journalist says about journalism:

The Journal is Fake News, but rather than pretend that it’s a sincere attempt to find truth, let’s call it what it is: An attempt to put a Public Relations spin on a cult using the old corporate magic lantern technique, casting shadows and creating the story. After all that is said and done, it is creating the mythology using the story, no matter what chapter of the story is being presented at the time. This is an attempt to make a toxic waste dump an appealing magic fairy land by covering it in a pure white newly fallen snow to disguise the ugliness underneath. It is the kicking of the flat tires on a dead hearse. No new life will come from the stinking feted death beneath, no matter how well the story is told.

At the center of the problem is Dixon Cartwright, the Editor, who has embarrassed himself, first at Ambassador Watch and then at Banned! with his childish tantrum hissy fits that finally left commenters wondering, “Gee, what’s with him?” He has been exhibiting narcissistic borderline tendencies lately, making him as friendly as an angry hornet when someone even suggests that his worth as a journalist is somewhat less than a first year student of the subject. He wants and demands respect, dammit! No matter how stupid or crazy his topic may be. He has the talent to transform ox manure into a blooming rose garden, and you’d better be respectful or you’ll be sorry!

This behavior came to light further this past March at Las Vegas as partially reported in Issue No. 193 (March 31, 2017) episode of the continuing soap opera of The Journal. It was the first all-campus Ambassador College reunion. Yes, highlights of the event were reported on page 1 and page 4, and there were even pictures! What is blatantly NOT mentioned is the honor bestowed upon the Editor of the Painful Truth for the work done on the color version of the first three issues of The Ambassador Report by Bill Hughes and many of the other contributors to the Ambassador Report. It was a big deal. It was not reported.

This is typical Dixon Cartwright, looking daggers and gritting his teeth as he saw someone else getting some credit, while knowing in his heart that he should get ALL the attention.

Here is a comment at Banned!:

And of course Dixon never mentioned the Ambassador Report get together March 16th what so ever. Like it never happened.

Of course if any member never heard of the Ambassador Report and started to read it on line that could start a different type of shit fest for old Dix. There are after all a few who write the Painful Truth to mention that they just discovered the Report and they are in shock at what they read.

In my opinion, it was very dishonest not to mention the meeting as if it was a non event. He ate their food and drank their booze at the party that evening.

It seems Dixon has something in common with CNN, the fake news channel. Don’t report what might damage your own selfish interests. After all, the Journal is Dixon’s bread and butter.

That certainly exemplifies the approach that The Journal has.

James received a standing ovation. Dixon Cartwright gave a bland account of the event without context or real meaning, having confused writing down what happened instead, with journalism.

On Page 3 of The Journal is the article “Think about lessons concerning leaven” by David Havir. We’d rather not. There are several reasons, not the least of which is the fact that recently both Banned! and The Painful Truth have pointed out that there was no Exodus, so keeping the Days of Unleavened Bread based on a myth of an event which never happened is rather senseless. There can never be, as was written in his stupidly moronic article, any Old Testament lesson, because said lesson doesn’t exist. The New Testament ‘lesson’ is partially based on the Old Testament lesson, so no joy there. It’s hard to believe that Jesus’ sacrifice is our Passover, since the Passover itself never happened. Does this mean there’s no salvation? Is there any relevance to grace? In fact, if none of this is true, what opinion should we have of sin?

It’s not so much what David Havir says, though. It’s his codependent relationship he has with Dixon Cartwright which should be of concern. While it is true that David Havir says some brilliant things, such as that Herbert Armstrong was no servant leader and proves the point, there’s a lot of chaff as mental noise (often based on book reviews) which has to be sifted through. Since David Havir provides Dixie with lots of narcissistic source, though, we should be cautious about what we read from both of them. The Journal shouldn’t exist anyway and does because of useless nostalgia for curious atheists who once attended Ambassador College. It’s that temptation to resolve the mystery of what happened to all those people your curious about but certainly don’t really care about any more.

As for the “Ashes to Ashes” title, there is definitely a rationale. It turns out that someone at Banned! took umbrage at a presentation of entropy — a rather brilliant one — because they insisted there was a balance in the universe and stupidly quoted a Wikipedia page to ‘prove’ their insane non 3 dimensional little mind’s inane belief, not understanding one thing about STEM. The mentally deficient should realize their limitations.

Here’s the deal: It’s cold; you have a fireplace; you have wood that’s been burned down to ashes. Now… light the ashes and burn them to keep you warm! It should work. There’s this… this… equilibrium, you see. The ashes should burn. All the materials were there are still there somewhere, so just recycle, dammit!

How’s that working for you? Still cold are you? Are you finding it’s taking more energy to burn the ashes than you get out of burning them? Sure, it’s possible, but you have to take energy from somewhere else to locally reduce the entropy in the fireplace. Magnesium strips would be handy right about now. It may cost you more than it’s worth, but darn it all, you’re going to burn those ashes just to prove there’s equilibrium.


And that’s the way it is with Armstrongism. It’s been burned down pretty much to ashes. Now people like the staff at The Journal need to keep it going because… reasons. It’s just that it’s going to take more and more to get less and less. Armstrong is dying. Grab your shovels. It will soon be time to bury it.

And entropy? For those who are mentally deficient, we’ll try this again, but we’re not hopeful for the enlightenment of scientifically challenged Armstrongists:

Brain Dead

Extraterrestrial bugs are eating brains, but nobody can tell the difference
Extraterrestrial bugs are eating brains, but nobody can tell the difference

This past year, CBS produced one of the funniest, ironic, insightful, biting satires ever (if you have Amazon Prime, you can click on the above icon and watch the season for free). Politicians on Capital Hill in Washington D.C. have had 40% to half their brains eaten by extraterrestrial bugs and they are running things. The thing is, with politics the way it is, few seem to notice. Those infested are aggressive. There is a conspiracy behind the scenes and attempting to expose the problem only ends in endless frustration.

We know that Herbert Armstrong didn’t have much over 50% of an high school education, yet he was the chancellor of a college. If you think about it (but not too hard), that has to be the most stupid thing ever! You could say that educationally, he was brain dead with half a brain. Certainly, Herbert Armstrong was aggressive. There has also been a long running conspiracy to hide the problems and those attempting to expose the problems end up in endless frustration.

Declaring the end of the world is coming as we know it in 1975 was certainly an indication of just how far gone the Armstrongists really were — no reasonable person willing to seek out the facts would conclude that the whole thing was nothing more than delusional, yet the infestation was pernicious — very hard to eradicate. Alternative explanations for the way things are were given and to those who weren’t alert could be swayed. In its own way, Armstrong gave meaning to “those with half a brain”.

Today, Armstrongism has given way to the theory of party alliances, tribalism and loyalty. Euphemisms are employed to cover up insanity. No one in their right mind (or with half a brain) could countenance such as Robert Thiel, David Pack, Roderick Meredith, Gerald Flurry, Ronald Weinland or much of anyone advertising in The Journal. It is sheer chaos, simply not rooted in the real world. Projects, programs, prognostications go awry. Endless excuses are created out of thin air. Alternative explanations are given to justify the stupidity.

And in the end, they all act as if things are perfectly normal. It’s reasonable to believe in the ridiculous premise British Israelism some how. Arrogance and narcissism are given life for no particularly good reason. People caught up in the political agendas of the scoundrels are completely deceived. Many are trapped in emotional extortion.

The series ends with the extraterrestrial bug invaders losing.

We certainly hope that the Cult of Herbert Armstrong Mafia follow the pattern and utterly fail in their attempt to take over the world.

He Was Right!

Punxsutawney Phil
Punxsutawney Phil

 From where I’ve been sitting – with cool breezes, sunny blue skies and mountain greenery – I’d say Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction for an early spring in 2016 was correct. Now I don’t live in western Pennsylvania, so your call may be different.

Even so, Phil’s accuracy rating is given as 39%. (Several websites quote this figure; for example, see Speaking as a one-day wonder has-been in the WxChallenge (a weather forecasting competition) I’d say Phil’s score as a general forecaster is not very good. But, in his position as (to quote a character in Ground Hog Day) “seer of seers, prognosticator of prognosticators” he’s going well. Certainly Phil the Punxsutawney Prophet scores higher than the Des Moines Doomsayer, HWA.

In the pages the Painful Truth, some 300 false prophecies of HWA and his minions are listed. And that doesn’t include those of prophecies of splinter leaders who followed in his wake. But – how many of his predictions actually have come to pass?

In the words of HWA’s grandson, he was touted as an insightful prophetic wonder. From memory, I think he was credited with about three or four good calls. To begin with, the USA never had a direct military conflict with Russia. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt, and limit that to the now defunct USSR, and give him a point.

Germany reunited. Well, the majority of it was, but if HWA’s WWII prophecies had come to pass, Germany wouldn’t have any need to reunite. But, give him another point.

Trouble in the Middle East – ignoring his early claim that the modern nation of Israel wasn’t going to happen, give another point. And give him a bonus point for the “prophecy” of the Six-Day War, which he wasn’t expecting to happen in 1967. And let’s ignore the Radio Jerusalem contract.

So we’ll give HWA four points for the accuracy of his undated predictions. Out of 300, that makes his accuracy rating less than 2%. Maybe he was better than that, but nowhere near Phil’s score.

Of course, Phil makes specific weather predictions. In the standard repertoire of titles in the splinters, one may find a booklet, article or sermon with a title like God Controls the Weather. The tone used by different COGs varies from God using weather favors or disasters for specific reasons, to God micromanaging the climate down to every drop of rain that falls (whether a flower grows or not).

The best splinter “predictions” for weather events – apart from generalized future events – have been in hindsight: why things occurred. So we are told Katrina hit New Orleans because it was a wicked city, drought in California was because legalizing same-sex marriage, and so on. And I’m not going near the different takes on Global Climate Change. They seem to forget that prophets such as Elijah warmed specifically what would happen before it happened.

So perhaps God actually has Phil’s ear – he made a prediction that came to pass, and not an excuse for something that already happened.