Great Balls-O-Fire Account by Lewis Boring
Written by Bob W.At Ambassador College. Fridays were always an interesting day for both students and employee's alike. It was not only a day of preparation for the coming Sabbath, which in its self was a major task, it was also pay day. You could depend on it being a frantic day, too much to do, not enough time to get it all done.
HWA instructed all the employees and church members that we must be completely ready and finished with all work related tasks at least one hour before the sun went down and the Sabbath began. This meant for those of us on the various construction crews, not only getting all the equipment clean and put away, the job site cleaned up or properly barricaded, it also meant having enough time to get to the bank and cash our payroll checks, go to the store, get home, shower and get cleaned up before sundown. Fridays were usually marathon d-a-z- e.
It was a real hassle, requiring a great deal of organization to get everything done so we could get home, be sitting in a comfortable chair and reading our Bibles before the Sabbath started. Right? No Way! It was noble goal. For those few that were able to accomplish this task, it was done with almost complete physical and mental exhaustion. It was like most of the other spiritual rules and laws they designed for us to live by.....idealistic but totally unrealistic and impractical. Actually it was not difficult to live up to their standard, it was impossible!
One of the most demanding tasks was on late Friday afternoon...It seems that they could not get our paychecks to us any earlier than quitting time...was getting to the bank and cashing our checks. It would have been nice to have them at noon, that way at least we could have our checks cashed and be ready to go grocery shopping then home. But no, as it turned out we received our checks late in the afternoon which meant having to make a hurried rush to the bank then to the store and hopefully home before sunset.
On this one particular Friday afternoon, it seem as though all the college employees, and half of Pasadena converged on the bank to cash their payroll checks at the same time. The lines were long and moving very slowly, patience were growing short, and carnal-natured tempers were beginning to flare. We all just wanted to get in and out as quickly as possible, then to the store, then home to collapse. And then repeat the cycle all over again the following week. Unfortunately the long lines moved as if time had completely stopped, time and the lines came to an abrupt halt. The clock was ticking down toward the Sabbath, there we were standing still. We were in a twilight madness, a check cashing frenzy, then it happened......
I am not sure why, but it always seemed there were some parents that were completely inconsiderate of others, they would bring their little kids to the already overcrowded bank. And then turn them loose! Children being what they are, just children, would run throughout the bank getting into mischief, they simply annoyed everyone, our patience this late in the week was growing short, very short.
One lady was getting extremely impatient not only with the long, slow moving line but with her son as well. This little rascal was just bubbling over with energy. He was running up and down the line bumping into people and making a general nuisance of himself. She kept telling him, to stop and be still. He was just a mischievous little kid, making the best of his confinement in the bank with all these tall and angry trees call adults.
Her quiet demeanor was definitely changing, you could see she was becoming irritated and distressed, she finally yelled at him, only this time with all the authority that a distressed and angry mother could muster in her voice. "Child be still!!" she bellowed like an angry warrior about to do battle. His playful activities came to a screeching halt. He looked at her for a brief moment, you could almost read his mind as he was trying to size the situation up, was she really going to do anything to him in this public setting, the obvious conclusion he made was no. So he continued his running and jumping, giggling and laughing..... BIG, BIG mistake! By this time, she had finally had enough of the long lines, rude tellers, and one irritating child. She asked the lady behind her if she would be kind enough to hold her place in line while she took care of her boy. The answer was yes, yes, YES, PLEASE take care of him!
She grabbed this little rascal firmly by the shoulders, held her nose an inch away from his and scolded him severely for being a brat. She walked over to an Oak chair and slam dunked him into it. She waved her authoritative finger inches from his face and told him, "Don't you dare move 'till I get back!! The little kid was obviously upset and distressed. Tears began to fill his dark brown eyes and flow down his little cheeks. There was no comfort from his Mommy as she turned to take her place back in line to the silent cheers of the rest of us.
As she started to walk away, this little guy was horribly upset, he softly began to cry. With tears in his eyes and streaming down his cheeks, he said as loud as he could in his sobbing little voice, "Mommy! Mommy! You broke my balls!!"......She stopped dead in her tracks her eyes somewhat bulged out and her mouth dropped open. All activity in the bank ceased, you could have heard a pin drop. Everyone was staring at her. Her face flushed red with embarrassment as she tuned back towards her son looking at him with astonishment and disbelief. She was completely and totally embarrassed at what he just said. The poor little guy slowly got up from the hard wooden chair, reached into is back pockets. He then pulled out two very badly crushed and mangled ping pong balls and handed them to her......All at once the entire bank broke into laughter.
Child she said, I love you. She gave him a big hug and kiss to the applause and approval of us all.
Sometimes the comedy campus even went into town, we could witness the hilarious scenes of unexpected humor that would live on for generations to come.....
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