Sex And The Bible
(Or Larry Flint Eat Your Heart Out)By Alex
While in Herbie's crackpot cult, he always yelled at us to, "Don't believe me, believe the Bible," or, "dust off your Bibles". Plus drilling into our heads such biblical phrases as "every scripture being an inspiration of God" or "not one jot or one tittle shall be removed," or such statements as the Bible was written by men inspired by God, etc. In essence, saying that the Bible was God's Holy Word. Or being constantly threatened with hellfire if we returned to "Satan's world". This was the sword of Democles hanging over our heads. We were threatened with God's terrible wrath, and only "God's Apostle" could save us.
Well, I did dust off my Bible, neglecting it since the great escape. With an unbound mind, I approached it from a very different perspective than Herbie's pernicious, prevaricating, pompous, postulating, pedantic sycophants preached.
These clones entered Ambassador as avid, eager puppy dogs, anxious to learn and to have their minds sterilized, homogenized, anesthetized, downsized, capsized, and radicalized to conform to Herbie's brand of religion. once brainwashed, air-blowed, dried, and stamped "approved". These agents were sent to the hinterlands to infect the rest of us with Herbie's virus. But I digress...
Although there is a smattering of goodness within it's covers, sage advice, sound spiritual sense, scads of prophecies, "thus sayeth the Lords", the Bible as a whole, is a cruel, vicious, blood-thirsty book. Filled with murders, incest, wars, mass slaughters, maiming, rape, sex, etc. Oh, yeah, a lotta sex. So mom and dad, send your kids out to play before you read this.
In spite of the many years I was in Worldwide Church of God, many of these scriptures are new to me. Due, no doubt, to Herbie's slanted teachings. HE probably read them, and apparently felt no compunction about his sexual dildos. Which explained his reasoning when confronted with the matter of incest. He was God's apostle and he was allowed. It's what he told his daughter when she asked him why. It was in the Bible so that was good enough for him.
I will begin with chapter and verse: (since "concubines" will have numerous mention, Webster defines concubine as a "mistress". In other words, "whore").
In 2nd. Chron. 11:21--Rehoboam had 18 wives and threescore concubines. He begat 88 children. Accordingly, most were bastards.
Gen. 38:8-10--Onan was killed for practicing birth control. Too lurid to describe. Read it.
2 Sam. 13:2, 14, 15--Amnon raped his virgin sister.
Jer. 5:8--"Everyone in Israel was as fed horses in the morning; everyone neighed after his neighbor's wife".
Num. 5:14-22-A woman was tested for adultery by drinking holy water mixed with dust.
Gen. 38:18--Judah paid a harlot his ring, his cord and his staff for her services. She was impregnated by him.
1st Kgs. 11:1-3--Solomon loved many strange women. He had 300 concubines. (Whores).
The men of Sodom were struck blind because they sought to rape two male angels. Gen. 19:1-11
2nd Chron. 15:16--Maachah's son Asa burnt a phallic symbol she had made.---
There are nineteen cases of incest in the Bible:
1. Lot with his elder daughters, Gen. 19:33.
So now we can understand Herbie's love for the Bible and why he had no qualms about confessing to incest. He practiced what he preached. He said G-a-a-a-w-d allowed him to do it.
Yeah, Herbie. We can just hear you singing:
"Gimme that old time religion, gimme that old time religion, gimme that old time religion, it's good enough for me. --if it's good enough for Lot, then it's good enough for me."
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