The First Fairy Tale

by
Dale K. Brown

CHAPTER 30

"ORAL ROBERTS"

A god nine hundred feet tall ought to be able to make it on his own, do just what he pleased, and live however and where ever he chose; all without worrying unduly about back talk from anyone. He certainly wouldn't have to stoop to threats, blackmail, and extortion! In this instance, such was not the case.

Oral Roberts, a former Pentecostal minister who shall remain nameless, was walking along one day, minding his own business, when a nine hundred foot tall god jumped right out at him from the Great Beyond and said, "Gimme yer dough!" But the victimized televangelist only had a few hundred thousand to his church's name at the time...not nearly enough to satisfy such an avaricious apparition.

The behemoth demanded eight million in cash...or his faithful servant's life, and he gave the startled preacher only a couple of months to collect the booty. Lesser men might have called in the F.B.I. and reported an extortion in progress, but Mr. R. was made of sterner stuff. He bravely got on the air and informed his fellow "partners in prayer" that God was going to "call him home" unless money was forthcoming.

While some brethren evidenced shock and disbelief, most banded together in a feverish attempt to ransom their condemned evangelists' life. It was nip and tuck right down to the wire and, even then, their efforts were futile. They'd fallen far short of their larcenous Lord's requirements. But as the final seconds ticked away, the owner of a Greyhound racing track in Florida, having heard of the doomed preacher's plight, sent the extra few hundreds of thousands required to forestall the divine execution and, in so doing, bought Brother R. a few more years of life.

Chapter Twentynine

Chapter Thirtyone

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