And now a new title was about to be conferred on this
modest man, we were informed. In the face of
overwhelming popular demand, Herbert had reluctantly
agreed, for the sake of the Church, to be ordained an
Apostle with all the privileges and prerogatives
The called and chosen, most of them at any rate,
arose as one, breaking into an emotional storm of cheers
and tears which shook the grange hall windows and
rattled the doors. The pastor attempted in vain to quell
the unseemly disturbance (so out of character for God's
children), but it was an ill fated effort which died
young; the faithful were having none of it. After all,
it was not every day that a congregation found itself in
possession of its very own apostle.
When some semblance of sanity was finally restored, a
taped message from the newly anointed was played over
the PA system. "Greetings brethren," an
apostolic voice boomed out (just prior to launching into
a thirty minute history of the God-inspired life that
it, along with its owner, had led).
The voice then related how it had neither desired nor
sought the high and honorable office it now held. It had
never aspired to be even a preacher, much less an
apostle, but God, (working in mysterious ways his
wonders to perform) had seen qualities in it that it had
not seen in itself.
Just what those qualities were, went unstated, and
thus were largely a matter of conjecture but, this did
not stop after-worship fellowshippers from hazarding
guesses as to just what it was that set such a blessed
creature apart from and above everybody else.
His enormous stockpile of personal humility obviously
played a large role in the apostolic selection process.
After all, God would not bestow that much power and
glory upon an average individual, for it might go to
one's head. And soon he'd be living like a king,
ordering the construction of ornate edifices, flying
around the world in his private jet with valets and
chefs, dining from solid gold plates and quaffing wine
from golden goblets! No, one had to be a meek and nearly
spotless lamb for the Great Shepherd to make use of it
in so holy a manner. And most men simply had not grown
enough in the power and spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ
to be worthy of such a high calling.
"Where does God find such men?" That was
the question on many lips as the flock shook their heads
in solemn wonder and trooped out of church that day.