The Painful Truth About The Worldwide Church of God
WCG Booklets Updated
By John B

      As a child growing up in a house where Armstrong was considered the “only man preaching the truth”, I remember dozens, maybe hundreds of church magazines all over the house.  Plain Truth magazines were everywhere, but those booklets – I think they multiplied asexually!

      Once we actually started attending church, it got worse.  Herbert Armstrong was one of the most prolific writers of the 20th Century; he wrote millions of words for magazines, co-worker letters, and booklets.  Perhaps no single man of his era had more words in print than HWA.

Today, half a century later, I still remember many of those titles.  But as the church itself has fallen into decay and scattered to the winds, perhaps it’s time to update some of those old titles.  I’m a lot older now and a little wiser than I was then, so perhaps I can tweak them a little to improve their accuracy.  Let me know what you think!

Seven Proofs God Resists
(He don’t give a shit!)

The Poof of the Bible
(Pretty much smoke and mirrors, ain’t it!)

 1975 In Profits, See?
(Scared the eagle-shit outta me!)

Pagan Holidays, or God’s Holy Days – Bitch!
(nuff said)

Us and British Count the Wealth In Prophecy
(There’s gold in them thar tills!)

The Seven Laws to (my) Success
(by Herbert W. Armstrong)

Is Sex a Sin?
(I guess it depends on your position)

 Should a Christian Eat?
(Only at the feast, but don’t spend too much – we need you to turn in your excess!)

God Sneaks Out for the New Morality
(god needs love too!)

Mystery of the Wages
(where the fuck did all that money go!)

 Why Were You Bored?
(Ever heard of Waterhouse?)

 Just What Do You Mean – Bored Again?
(Ever heard of a double Sabbath?)

 The Wonderful World to Borrow -- What It Will be Like
(and then send it in!)

The Key to the Book of Masturbation
(did Matthew know about the flog log?)

 The Dating Booklet for Fathers & Daughters
(by Herbert W. Armstrong)

Divorce and Remarriage –
And Divorce –
And Remarriage –
And Divorce –
And Remarriage …

(have we made up our minds yet?)

The Missing Suspension in Sex
(Viagra, anyone?)

Ending Your Financial Worries – Send it ALL In!
(might as well, there’s nothing left anyway!)

 Does God Steal Today?
(somebody sure does!)

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