The First Fairy Tale
Dale K. Brown
"JALOPIES OF THE GODS"
Once upon a time, many thousands of years ago when the earth was still the known center of the universe, unimaginatively advanced Extra Terrestrial Civilizations had nothing better to do with their technological prowess than visit this backward planet, study the evolving Neanderthal population, and make out with indigenous females. These interstellar voyeurists apparently were all males, because there were no reported sightings of female astronauts, nor any allegations of them lewdly consorting with local studs.
Now thousands of light years may seem like a long way to come for a peep show or a close encounter of the prurient kind, but one could, perhaps, imagine the unbridled lust and passion Cro-Magnon Cave Women with short squat bodies and hairy breasts might arouse in an all male crew of space farers who'd been adrift for light years in the intergalactic void.
Other than a few scattered legends, nothing much is known about these visitors from the skies, so whatever their mission it certainly wasn't educational. Perhaps the planet was just a liberty port back then because, according to tradition, they left the native stock of humanity barefoot and, in some cases, pregnant. Until the last few decades, their carnal visitations seemingly ceased altogether but, as of late, "They're back!"...this time with flying saucers.
Their latest interests are alleged to include abducting young females, playing doctor with them, and sending them home in a state of considerable disrepair. As Masters of the Universe go, they're cutting a pretty sorry swath down here, and if "gods" they be, they're unquestionably a degenerate lot.
It is the hypophysis of UFO enthusiasts that some sort of "prime directive" of non-interference, probably prevents them from showing themselves to humanity as a whole. Non-believers assert that's a cop out, however, and uncharitably maintain that from a woman's point of view, abduction, rape, and unwanted pregnancy would qualify as at least an annoyance, if not outright interference of some sort.
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