THE GRAVEYARD CHURCH OF GOD

THE DISFELLOWSHIPPED:
A WAILING AND KNASHING OF TEETH

I am a member in good standing of the Orthodox Presbyterian Church--a Calvinist. I don't believe everyone will have a chance for salvation.  I believe in the Trinity, Hell, Heaven, the personhood of the Holy Spirit.  I accept the Westminster Confession of Faith as the doctrinal standard of my church.  I don't accept government from
the top 'down.  I recently ready Mr. Kessler's letter about Herbert W. Armstrong  and agree that a child molester, a pervert, a thief and a liar could not have been Christ's one and only true Apostle. I have totally rejected everything Herbert W. Armstrong ever taught.  I believe that the man was a false prophet, a deceiver, a pervert, a thief, a hypocrite and a liar.  I have successfully come out of the darkness into the glorious light of the gospel of Christ. I am a member in good standing of the Orthodox Presbyterian Church and am the mother of Lisa Jean Chavez.  I will attempt to raise her to never again be deceived by the likes of a Herbert W. Armstrong.
-Jane C.

i hated attending the wcg from the first time i went, but was convinced Herbert W. Armstrong was God's true apostle, so had no choice but to endure.  am now a PhD theology buff which in and of itself should qualify me for disfellowship almost 4 years after i stopped attending as i knew i was a hypocrite following the nonsensical beliefs espoused by the wcg. i especially hated the feast--i always had the "worst feast ever" even though i pretended i had the "best feast ever" rushing to the mall to buy underwear, and all the necessities i couldn't afford the rest of the year as i had to save to "live like a king" for 8 days.  i now observe sunday as the sabbath, and am a member of a conservative reformed church that teaches salvation by grace, not works.   the wcg led to serious pyschological problems in my life as i was unable to reconcile the nonsense anyone "ordained" would espouse about on any subject from car repair to cooking with honey--UTTER NONSENSE!!  "new truth" was another thing that comes to mind that people were always trying to find--i remember being at the home of a local elders son who was telling us that he thought grizzly bears were demon possessed as they are so viscious--again, what can i say, but utter nonsense.  power was another motive for most of the people i came in contact with--they wanted to rule over nations, if not entire world, and i've even heard people speculate that they might be the Savior of their world as Jesus is the Savior of the elect!! I feel i have fulfilled the requirements for disfellowshipping from the wcg, and will display my certicate with pride.
-Jean H.

Ya, what the heck - 'D' me. It's been 15 years since I had enough brains to leave, yet I can still remember some of the hymns...... "Blest and happy is the man, who does never walk astray, nor with the ungodly men, stands in sinners way. All he does, prospers well, but the wicked are not so, they are chaff before the wind driven to and fro. Ne'r in scorners chair he sits, ...."  yada yada yada (No Brainwashing there - eh ?) So many Friday nights - ruined ! (Best memory is having free tickets to an NHL game, my Dad called the minister to ASK PERMISSION, and in the end - I sat home. Just not appropriate Sabbath behaviour) The best was getting the call from the local minister (after a night of drinking, and getting in a car accident) and him saying, "Bob, you're kicked out of Y.O.U., forever!" Just what a kid needs after having the worst night of his life. No, don't try to help him, counsel him, or see what the church can do to "be there" for him, just punt his ASS out of Y.O.U. 4-ever even before his hangover is gone.
-Bob F.

Even though I possessed sufficient brain mass to prevent my ever actually joining your organization, I would still like to be disfellowshipped in honor of DEUTERONOMY 18:22.    It's all a question of whom one should believe--GOD or some DAUGHTER-SCREWING PERVERT WITH A ROLLS ROYCE. A BIBLE-BELIEVING CHRISTIAN,
-William H.

I left the military in 1972 and entered the WWCG.  It ruined my career and my marriage.  I had a lot of questions at those times which included why most of the leadership drank, cussed and lived like Hell during the week and on the sabbath became saints.  It bothered me to drive the youth leader to a teens house to "counsel" her while her parents were gone and I was out in the Car waiting.  I couldn't drink that much whiskey either.  I wondered why so many ministers committed suicide and killed their wives.  It bothered me that the local pastor could rule
your wife better than their own parents.  I guess I was a little picky when I was accuesed of things I didn't do.  Maybe I was messed up first? Naw!  I am thankful for the way I was treated, how it drove me to suicide (unsuccessful) and how my life was turned upside down.  I have yet to recover the love of my children whom I lost for years and the church helped hide.  Oh well.  Caca does accur.  It also hits the fan. If I had to say anything at all I would have to say: "I can't believe you've only been dead `13 years.  Oh by the way Thanks for kicking me
out and keeping my wife it turned out to be a blessing.
-Robert H.

Didn't notice the cost.  But if free please do so for me. Thanks. Free at last.
-Albert  V.

I listen to rap, I think breakdancing still rocks, I like to dance with people of different races, I think women should wear the pants once in a while, I'm not ignorant enough to think that ERA stood for "Eve Ruled Adam," I love to masturbate, I think premarital sex should be a requirement, and I don't think humanity should be judged by the first 5 friggin' books of the Old Testament. Oh, and I hate your pedophilic ways, Herbie.
- April D.

I lost my virginity at the Feast of Tabernacles in Hot Springs when I was 18. Yep, that ought to do it.  (Come to think of it, that was the best Feast ever!)
- Adam C.

As a former member (1985-1995) of the wacky WCG, I was almost disfellowship in 1989 because of weird conspiracy theories among the local membership in London.  Strange.   Anyway, the regional director in Canada (an Englishman who knew nothing about Canadian perspectives) based in Vancouver got involved in targeting me along with the local minister (another naive Englishman) and I was wondering what in the hell was going on with their collective insecurity in accusing me with a lot of contradictory gibberish. Hrmmpf!  I told both the limeys to "buggeroff", slang they would understand from the old country, and either produce evidence or leave Canada.  They did neither, but the regional director still wanted me gone because of my ability to figuratively think for myself and fightback. What happened after that is a loooonnnnng story.  I stayed in until 1995. Thank God it's over.  As for the two limeys, well, they are worse for wear. Please forward a disfellowship certificate to me below.  Hey, I have earned this one! Thanks in advance... John R.

My name is Stephen  D. I was actually booted in June 1981, but what the hey, I want to be kicked out by the top dog !  Let me have it!

Actually, you're too late, Herbie. Your one true church D'd me back in 1997. But you can add me to your list.  My WCG site, "WCG Exodus," can be found at http://members.macconnect.com/users/r/rodneyo/wcg.htm
Take care... Rodney L.

I am a fine candidate for the LAKE OF FIRE!  I was raised in this church, never given a choice about it, and still suffer from the propaganda/programming that was shoved down my throat then. However, I was never programed to the point of accepting baptism. No, I simply escaped into the Navy when I turned eighteen. My parents majorly sinned while I was growing up. Mom watched Dark Shadows, Dad smoked and ate pork. Well... Mom smoked, too, but she was caught and disfellowshipped, so she quit and was returned to the fold once she saw the light. (Heh.) These days I just tend to burn any literature I see that has to do with the WCG (especially the Plain Truth About Child Rearing). Please, please, please assure me my spot in the LAKE OF FIRE and send me my certificate!
- John W.

Please disfellowship me.  If anyone is guilty of exposing Herbie for what he is I am. I started the first grand-daddy web site on the WCG in 1994!
-William F. III

I did everything that you did Herbie (except the underage illegal stuff) and more. However, I gleefully told everyone about it...  Never bought the baptism crap, but would consider 'disfellowshipment' an honor (guess I wasn't home when God called).
-Norm B.

I counted the costs (only the irrelevant ones), after 12+ yrs in, because I was quite young when initially exposed & the relevant ones weren't known until the end. (Why am I not suprised by that!?) I was a child of the church, which is to say I was never a child. The whole 9 yrds 2 ft 11.999 inches: no Xmas, Easter, Birthdays;  Coming home to an empty house & wondering what I did to miss "the call"; total pacifism -- regardless; "father [strongly anti-organized religion] knows best."; long sermons as repetitious in their seasonal place as "Sunday" sermons & 7x as meaningless!; the sense of superiority from overcoming things (frequently triggered by the sense of superiority !); no waterguns/plastic soldiers/"cops & robbers"; etc. Plenty of guilt often with graphic support: illustration from Basil Wolverton. or PT covers (Starving Biafrans &co); sex as a four letter word; "Yeah but..." 's about how ALL lost'll be returned 100-fold; lessons on "breaking the least of these..." means stealing a gum ball = murder in Gods' eyes, etc.; death as a form of divine protection, (answer to "If the promise in the '1st commandment with a promise' is true, why so many young in obits [of "Ww News"]?)"; lectures on greed when asking about blatant failure of Mal 3:10's tithing test; and so on. All this programmed into us by "called of God/ ok'd by herbie"; men used by God to make life truly abundant.  To LakeofFire with that!  I want less abundance, more reality, so kindly kick my plentifully "Blessed & happy [ack!ack!aaacccckkkkk!]" arse out! And thank you for your support!  [7x70 pages of gagging & hysterical laughter deleted by disfellowshipped(?) heretic.]
-Dan S.

Please disfellowship me.... Please... I beg of you! I have fallen away... away into the arms of EVIL Science... and into the EMBRACE of free and rational thought! I simply MUST have my own certificate. ...an emblem of my shame. ...a badge of my fallen state.
-Mark B.

I was dis-fellowshipped  ( circa 1981--refused to join "Spokesman's club", because, frankly, i thought that it was just plain silly!!!!!!!!!)---     Yes, i can remember those days quite well: the intimidation, the snobbery, the self-righteousness, etc. etc.   And, also, as a gay person, I deeply resented being referred to as a "queer",by some of the so-called "Ministers" from that era!!  ( some of whom , i believe, were highly suspect themselves--a "Red Herring" tactic, perhaps?)   Anyway, thanks for a great ( & honest) web page---blessings upon ye----   
- Larry  N.

I am writing this for my wife, she has finished reading the latest article by "Whistler" listed in the Painful Truth about that "fat man".  She was forced to go into that cult as a child by her parents and finally quit five years ago.  She has been detoxing for the poisons that were put in her mind by the SOB cult. Her name is Janis E. Green.  She looks forward to getting her certificate. She is a survivor of Death Camp Orr in the 60's and hopefully she will write her story someday.
- Chuck G.

This letter is to inform you of my interest in being disfellowshiped. I am an educated person therefore I have no need of ever wanting to be a member of the world wide church of fraud. I was raised with the belief that all my worldly friends would die and I would live on being that I was one of the "lucky" chosen ones. I will never be able to look at a piece of shrimp and enjoy the wonderful taste without first feeling the panic of the onset of sin.  Please Please cast me out as I am so luke warm it is distasteful to the many wise men that would sooner kill me then look at me as they raise their heads to the glory of the almighty. HA!!
- Meg

Please add me to your list of those disfellowshipped. I found myself in the PCG, then disfellowshipped because I did not believe that Flurry was in scripture. Now I have found quite alot of error in my past and can trace alot of problems back to my co-worker status with the WCG. :-)
-Kevin W.

It's hard to view your site while experiencing tears of laughter :) or tears of recognition :(  This certificate (should I be proven worthy) will forever be my mark of shame. Please disfellowship me as I need to "ensure closure."
-M M.

Yes!  Please DISFELLOWSHIP me and send me my certificate to prove it.
-Lloyd C.

I think that I richly deserve to be disfellowshipped. I called you Herbie, wrote nasty poetry about you and spray painted it on the bottom of the town bridge. Your rules were unfair, and I broke them with impunity. I conduct pagan rituals under the full moon. I gave birth in a hospital. I go to the doctor when I'm sick. I buried myself in pork and ate my way to freedom. My husband's hair is longer than mine. I do not have a bible anywhere on my premises, but I do have 3 copies of "Living Wicca". I lived with my husband before we were married.  AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE IN THIS WORLD OR THE NEXT IS THAT I EVER LISTENED TO ANY OF YOUR LIES, YOU ROTTEN OLD GEEZER! PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, HERBIE!
-Patricia C.

My son, who was greatly abused by the "enlightened leaders" (wolves is sheep's clothing) has asked me to get his own personal certificate.  His name is: John C. Green.  He is still having trouble with the problems those creatures caused. It would be his declaration of independence and freedom.
-Chuck G.

I no longer like you enough to follow you. I've watched my entire family disintegrate because of you and no longer covet an eternal existence under your rule. I don't apologize for this. I will now put my family before you and look forward to joining them in the lake of fire. Yours heretically,
-Neil S.

Yes, I would like my official document of disfellowship from the WCG and its little demons that have branched off.  I would like to have a document that says I am no longer a member of an organization that money was god and the real God was a God of total hate. 
-Charles G.

Dear short dead dude: Do the one right thing you ever did for me. Wherever the hell you are,
disfellowship me now. I would say more but I'm too busy enjoying some glorious pork ribs. You
should have tried some youself. (Come to think of it, you probably did!). They're much better than raping a close relative. Out of your grasp,
-Ron B.

Please disfellowship me. I was disfellowshipped be WCG in 1991 and it broke my heart. I was scared (briefly), but as I was a bad member (i.e. independent thinkingg) it didn't hold for long. Who gave them the right anyway - the devil? Yours looks more fun. Add me to the list.  
- James M.

PLEASE GIVE ME A CERTIFICATE SHOWING I HAVE BEEN DISFELLOWSHIPPED
OUR SON ALMOST DIED AND WE COUDN'T GO ALONG WITH YOUR HEALING DOCTRINE.
-JOSEPH and MARGIE S.

I was disfellowshipped in 1973, reinstated in 1977, and resigned in 1992.  But I never got a certificate. Please.... Please! DISFELLOWSHIP MEEEEEEE !!!!!
-John B.

My father was "unconverted" and I was a hold-out on teen (or adult) baptism, so I don't know if I qualify for full Disfellowshipment, but hey, how about an Honorary Disfellowshipment?  My qualifications? Ummm, let's go for broke with "Became Unequally Yoked".  If that's not good enough, how about my dismal failure as a Y.O.U. Cheerleader?  My lack of willingness to be "submissive" and "serve" at various and sundry functions aimed at perpetuating the role of women in positions of "servitude"?  Oh, and hey, how could I forget this one?  I attempted to date a guy of a "different" race!  Gasp!  Yeppers, sign me up for a certificate.
-Laura H.

ME!  ME! DISFELLOWSHIP ME!
- Bruce R.

I have always loved seafood, cigars and motorcycles. But that's nothing compared to what you LOVED. Disfellowship me immediately.
-Robert B.

I should be disfellowshipped because I didn't call you "Mr. Armstrong." I don't have enough respect for God's Apostle.
-Marc M.

I don't like you Herbert.  You spent too much money on salt shakers. That oughtta do it. Sufficient to raise your great ire?
-Alan B.

I insist on being disfellowshiped because I have a bad ATTITUDE and a desire to eat Gods first and second and third tithe along with the love offerings. Let God get a job if he is so desperatly GREEDY for MONEY!! I'll be damned if I am to give him a plugged nickle, maybe a bad check but not a cent of hard cash!!!
- Ken P.

I masturbated willfully.
- Scott M.

Yes I want to be disfellowshipped.  Please add my name.
-Thomas S.