The Apostle visits Independence Hall before his audience with Benjamin Franklin.

Living-impaired residents of this city, who have lain for centuries without the Gospel message, eagerly awaited to see and hear the good news of Herbert W. Armstrong and the wonderful world tomorrow.  They were not disappointed.

Ignoring the popular vote of the GYCG website, the Apostle chose the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, as the recipient of his second living-impaired trip to bring the Gospel to all nations.  "I did it to teach the members that God's government is from the ground up and NOT A DEMOCRACY," the Apostle emphatically stated in front of Independence Hall. 

"Prophecy DEPENDS on me to correctly interpret the different AREAS of God's end-time churches!!! I have come here today to announce I have identified the Philadelphian Area of GOD'S TRUE CHURCH!!!!  My in-depth study of the Bible has revealed that this is it!!" said Mr. Armstrong.

The Apostle, showing humility typical of him, temporarily shed his Steuben Crystal Casket during the visit to avoid the appearance of being ostentatious to the simple people of the crowd. Foremost among the dignitaries was American inventor and statesman Benjamin Franklin. Below is a partial transcript of their historic meeting.

Cadaver-without-portfolio Mr. Armstrong and Ambassador Franklin share the finer points of Ambassadorship during their historic meeting.

BEN AND ME

Herbert W. Armstrong: Mr. Franklin, you call yourself a Philadelphian, but YOU ARE ACTUALLY LAODECIAN!!!! You are not even lukewarm...YOU ARE ROOM TEMPERATURE!!!  I have come to you as a warning at the end of this age, to WAKE YOU UP!!!! Ben, there is only ONE GOD. He is currently two Gods but will someday be many more, made up of people who have avoided pork products...

BEN: Mr. Armstrong, your explanation of God sounds to me, a humble Deist, like polytheism. While we may differ theologically, we share a similar passion for youth. As an Ambassador to France in my old age, I too enjoyed the company of very young consorts!!! Admittedly, they were never as young as yours and I abhor relatives! How sir, do you manage it?

Herbert W. Armstrong: Its simple Ben. A rub-down with a towel and proper elimination is all that's needed for ABUNDANT JOY!

BEN: I also believe you may be confusing the term areas with eras...

Herbert W. Armstrong:  God is evidently not working with you right now or else you have a GOVERNMENT PROBLEM.  Now let me tell you how soap works... the Apostle continued to explain the Gospel message to Ambassador Franklin, who, upon hearing the mystery of the aged, has repented and accepted the Grave Truth!!!  He no longer questions the Apostle.  A new lid has opened for the Work!!!