THE GRAVEYARD CHURCH OF GOD

PART I

Former sheep
Down in Sheep-ville
Liked Christmas a lot.

But the Apostle,
Who was six-feet under,
Did NOT!

The Apostle hated Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
Why? Perhaps greed is his reason.
It could be the cost,
It could be the tithe lost.
But the most likely reason of all,
Is that his penis was TWO sizes too small.

Whatever the reason, his member or his tithe,
He lay in his casket and began to writhe.
Staring from his grave with a sour, Apostle frown,
He saw warm lighted windows of Pasadena town.
For he knew the living sheep in sheep-ville beneath,
Were busy now, hanging lovely Nimrod wreaths!!!

"They have simply forgotten what I taught,
Spending precious tithe money on what I fought!"
With a jerk of a jowl and a snarl of a sneer,
He knew Tomorrow's World was Christmas! Its practically here!

All the little sheep would WAKE UP!! and rush for their toys!
Focused on SELF, instead of buying Envoys!
OH! The noise and trees and songs and glee!!
People lavishing attention on each other, not ME!!
That's the one thing he hated.
For him, only his daughter satiated!!

"They will forget they're worthless burned out hunks of junk,
Toss out my 18 truths - the TRUNK!
My jowels and jewels and jets are in mortal danger!!
Just because my church is in the hands of a total stranger!"

He tossed and turned all living-impaired,
All terribly distraught over how his empire had fared.
"What can I do to regain their simple-minded trust?"
Herb pondered with forlorn Apostle lust.

"How can they worship ME after I'm dead?
They're not bright, nor particularly well read!"
"After all -- they have the Mystery of the Ages--
Where I talk about myself for 300 pages!"

And then he got an idea.
An awful idea!

THE     APOSTLE         GOT A                 WONDERFUL                 AWFUL                             IDEA!

TO BE CONTINUED...

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