Articles Pertaining To Herbert W. Armstrong, Garner Ted Armstrong and The Worldwide Church of God
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Ambassador College
Baptismal Pool
By Retired Prof
Back in the 1950s, when Mad Magazine was exhorting readers to
“fight the rising tide of conformity,” my circle of high school buddies
and I proudly professed to be nonconformists. We didn’t do anything
flamboyantly rebellious, the way today’s punk or Goth youth do; we just
didn’t go along with mainstream fashions unless they happened to suit
us. My friend Eddie wore a British-style porkpie hat to school, and I
wore a homemade ‘possum-skin cap. Most male and some female teens at our
school took up cigarettes, but in our group Eddie smoked a pipe and the
rest declined to smoke at all. We didn’t care for Elvis Presley’s music
and didn’t copy his hairstyle. I did get a pair of blue suede shoes, but
just because I thought they were cool—who cared if Elvis had started the
fad? Instead of sports and social events, we talked about art and
literature. Since we were all nonconformists anyway, my friends didn’t
care that my family flouted the Sunday norm by attending church on
Saturday, or that we deprived ourselves of certain culinary pleasures by
refusing to eat pork and shrimp. Because of stories we had heard, my
buddies and I all agreed that when we went to college we would never
join a fraternity. The stories all implied that fraternities bullied
members into conforming to their norms.
Both my mother and father, who divorced when I was ten, took it for
granted that I would apply to Ambassador College, and I went along with
their wishes. Way back in the early days of Ambassador, my father had
said he would pay my way there. He had started listening to The World
Tomorrow at least by the time I was four; one of our family rituals was
to sit respectfully around the battery-operated radio in our two-room
cabin listening to the program. My mother kept on listening after the
divorce, and sometimes so did my sisters and I, though Mom didn’t insist
we always sit with her in respectful silence. After the divorce we lived
in rented places with electricity and didn’t depend on a battery-powered
radio.
We started attending WCG services when a congregation was established at
Springfield, Missouri, and she was baptized when I was fifteen or
sixteen. She never told my sisters and me not to associate with friends
“in the world.” The church didn’t put much pressure on members to
withdraw from “the world” at that time. But even after they clamped down
and said we were not supposed to form close friendships with outsiders,
Mom didn’t encourage us to follow the rule. She never said why; perhaps
she was thinking that if Jesus ate with publicans and sinners, surely
her offspring could associate with unconverted friends. When Ambassador
College accepted my application, I was disappointed, but I thought, “Oh
well, at least it doesn’t have fraternities.” From church services, I
should have foreseen what Ambassador would really be like, but then
(nonconformist or not) I was only a callow, trusting youth of seventeen.
My father reneged on his plan to cover my college expenses and stopped
even sending any spending money during the first of my two Ambassador
semesters (1959-60). We children were fortunate not to live with him,
because he was much more zealous about enforcing church doctrine than my
mother. Ironically, however, he was never baptized, because he flunked
the interview and got turned down. I’m sure the minister saw that my
father wanted to BE the authority, not submit to it. Come to think of
it, maybe I inherited my nonconformist tendencies from him. Be that as
it may, as anyone knows who ever enrolled in Ambassador College,
attended WCG services, or read very many pages on this Web site, the
campus was a very paragon of conformity. Not mere garden-variety
conformity, either. Conformity distilled and concentrated.
One way we had to conform was to attend all the social events planned
for us. We males felt added pressure: we were all supposed to get dates,
because it would be terrible if any girls (remember when college women
were “girls”?) had to sit alone in their rooms during a dance or banquet
for want of an escort. Before one dance, somebody made a rule that any
guy who didn’t have a date would get dunked in the baptismal pool. The
plan was probably hatched by a group of upperclassmen, but it enjoyed
the sanction of faculty and administration. Official opinion was that
such boisterous hijinks would unify everybody and promote loyalty to the
group. It promoted the opposite of loyalty in me: alienation. This was
exactly the kind of bullying horseplay that made me loathe fraternities.
My buddy Fred Kellers and I were among the many freshmen who had no
date. For the girls, though, the campaign was a rousing success; all of
them were spoken for. So now guys without dates were denied any chance
of getting one. First, Fred and I railed with each other about the
unfairness of it all. Then we hatched a plan. We were just reacting
intuitively and didn’t bother to work out any ethical rationale, but if
we had, it would have gone like this: If somebody is about to pull a
practical joke on you, you are then completely justified in thwarting it
with another practical joke. Turnabout is fair play. Eye for an eye.
We decided to drain the baptismal pool.
The drain in the bottom of the pool was plugged with a vertical overflow
pipe to maintain a constant level. If water rose too high, it would
spill into the open end of the pipe and down the drain. If the pipe was
removed, all the water could go down the drain. We removed the pipe.
We watched with satisfaction as the water level fell, but our
satisfaction didn’t last long. The water had gone down less than a foot
when an upperclassman trotted toward us wearing a severe expression. He
was led by a freshman who had heard us conspiring. The upperclassman
made us put the pipe back, and then he chewed us out for unauthorized
tampering with school property and disrespect for authority. He stopped
short of accusing us of demon possession, but Fred and I figured we were
in big trouble anyway. He would report us, and we would be called in by
a minister for counseling. We dreaded counseling even more than we
dreaded being thrown into the pool.
Oddly enough, nothing came of our prank. Nobody else ever mentioned it,
and it’s possible the four of us standing beside the pool when Fred and
I replaced the pipe were the only ones who ever knew about it. Likewise,
nobody threw any dateless reprobates into the pool that evening. I kept
the threat in mind, though, and it was a good thing I did, too. The
perpetrators were just biding their time.
A couple of weeks later, in the cafeteria, I noticed that a lot more
guys were hanging around after supper than usual. Fred wasn’t there that
evening; the freshman classmate I was eating with was
William Dankenbring. I eyed the action in the room and saw
upperclassmen standing guard at the exits. They were letting females
leave, but males about to go outdoors were getting turned back and kept
inside. The game, as Sherlock Holmes would say, was afoot. I made up my
mind to evade the planned bullying if I could find a way.
I said, “Bill, did you have a date for that last dance?”
“No, why?”
“They’re rounding us up so they can dunk us in the pool. When we finish,
let’s take our trays up just like always, but then turn around and go
out back here.” I indicated a door that led out to a sort of high porch
at the back of the building. It was really more like a balcony without
rails; there were no steps leading down from it. Nobody was guarding it
because nobody considered it an exit.
We returned our cafeteria trays, then turned around and walked casually
back toward our former seats as if we planned to continue our
conversation. Instead we kept walking straight to that door. As I
grasped the knob, I thought, “Well, if it’s locked, we’re sunk.” It was
not locked. Bill and I stepped outside, trying not to look
surreptitious; we acted as if we were doing the most normal thing in the
world. As I closed the door, I looked back inside. One guy guarding a
different door was looking in our direction, but what was happening
didn’t seem to register with him.
We jumped off the platform, which was maybe as high as the ceiling in an
ordinary room. On my way down, an image flashed through my mind of what
could happen if the flowerbed below had stakes in it, and I puckered
involuntarily. It didn’t have stakes in it. We landed okay, then jumped
up and ran in different directions to throw off pursuers. It turned out
there weren’t any; apparently that exit guard really hadn’t noticed what
was happening.
I hid in the darkness of the citrus grove, where I could watch hapless
victims get dragged off, yelling in protest, across the illuminated
campus. The groups weren’t going toward the baptismal pool, though. I
learned later that the perpetrators had modified the plan. They realized
the weather was too cold for an outdoor dunking, so they threw the guys
fully clothed into showers instead. I also learned later that Fred
Kellers had gotten wind of the plot and avoided going to the dining hall
at all that evening; he regretted not being able to get a warning
message to me. There may have been others who avoided that soaking, but
I know for a fact that Fred and Bill and I did.
If you have anything you would like to
submit to this site,
or any comments,
email me at:
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