THE GRAVEYARD CHURCH OF GOD
INTERNATIONAL REDNECK VERSION
April 12, 1971
Dear Co-Wawker in th' Greatess Misshun on Earth:
GIANT dores haf been openin' befo'e me, one af'er t'other, wif invitashuns fo' varmintal cornferences wif haids of state -- presidents, kin's, prime ministers -- an' menny others in high offices of POWER, in menny countries aroun' th' wo'ld, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' remarkable thin' is thet ah did not seek o' initiate these meetin's -- not once! ah was invited, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Mr. Unofficial Citizen don't jest take th' tellyphone, dial direckly into th' private office of an on overseas chief executive, git him on th' phone, an' say: "Howdy-doo, Kin' old fella! Fry mah hide! ah's a-comin' right ovah t'see yo'." He'd nevah git t'th' kin', th' president, o' th' prime minister.
Even though th' time has come, in this hyar great Commisshun, when it is necessary fo' me t'have these varmintal meetin's, thar is absolutely NO WAY ah c'd haf taken it into mah own han's an' accomplished it. It had t'come like a corntinuous chain of MIRACULOUS occurrences. An' it is havin' TREMENDOUS SIGNIFICANCE to th' finishin' of this hyar most impo'tant Commisshun on earth in 1900 years!
These mighty impo'tant meetin's haf suddenly catapulted th' entire Wawk up onto a noo an' higher plateau! Fry mah hide! Th' Wawk has moved suddenly into a TOTALLY NEW PHASE! Fry mah hide! These providential noo developments signal th' warnin' t'YOU an' t'me thet we does not have much time lef' t'git done THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB ON EARTH IN 1900 YEARS! Fry mah hide! We haf now been moved into th' last an' final phase of th' Wawk fo' this hyar Age!
Th' PLAIN TRUTH an' TOMORROW'S WORLD haf become mass- circulated magazines -- now among th' wo'ld's largest. Th' PLAIN TRUTH, especially, is gainin' wo'ldwide recognishun an' prestige as a high quality autho'itative magazine -- even in top circles of govment an' ejoocayshun in countries all on over th' earth.
Wif so menny MILLIONS of varmints bein' retched all on over th' wo'ld, it has become NECESSARY t'th' Wawk thet I, as fine as mah son, Garner Ted, an' others on our edito'ial an' research staffs, maintain a grasp an' insight into wo'ld corndishuns sech as is postessed by few on earth! Fry mah hide! As Edito' of Th' PLAIN TRUTH an' TOMORROW'S WORLD -- wif sech multiMILLION readerships -- these varmintal cornferences wif rulers of nashuns aroun' th' wo'ld is providin' mighty impo'tant material fo' articles. Still mo'e, they are givin' me increased UNDERSTANDING an' insight into th' problems faced by menny of th' wo'ld's chief rulers, usually not disclosed t'repo'ters, co'respondents o' edito's of commercial magazines o' noospapers.
Until recently we had retched, in this hyar Great Commisshun, primarily th' grass roots -- th' masses of th' common varmints -- th' RULED. But in this hyar greatess Misshun in 1900 years, it NOW has become NECESSARY thet we git direckly t'them in TOP POSITIONS OF POWER -- AT THE TOP -- THE RULERS! Fry mah hide! Th' Wawk had, of necessity, begin whar it did, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' time NOW has come when them who wield th' POWER muss also be retched! Fry mah hide! Of mahse'f -- o' wif th' HUMAN ability of our intire o'ganizashun -- it'd, indeed haf been IMPOSSIBLE! Fry mah hide!
THINK whut a great Wawk has been junerated! Fry mah hide! An' yet, WHAT A SHAME thet ah have t'tell yo' it is facin' a financial CRISIS, in which we may even hafta STOP publicashun of Th' PLAIN TRUTH! Fry mah hide! ah's not a-gonna say enny mo'e. God's varmints doesn't beg! Fry mah hide! To jest simply state th' NEED -- th' critical CRISIS NEED -- ought t'be 'nuff. Until next month, when ah will reveal t'yo', in cornfidence, th' incredible circumstances by which these giant dores haf opened befo'e me, ah leave a mighty serious crisis-decishun in yer han's.
Wif sinsyar love, in Jesus' name,
Herbert W. Armstrong
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