Loopyness, loopholes and leavening

What's in and what's out during the Days of Unleavened Bread? For the more myopic COGophiles Jewish understanding of the Tanakh doesn't really matter, only what their own authorities have decreed. John Carmack of COGWA, for example, can pontificate: "It should be noted, however, that modern-day Jews keep "Passover" as a seven-day celebration, mixing the two celebrations of Passover and the Days/Feast of Unleavened Bread together. However, the Bible makes it clear that they are two separate celebrations." Don't worry about all those rabbis and Talmudic scholars down the centuries, it's our own less-than-a-century-old tradition of fundamentalist dilettantes, founded by a failed ad salesman with alcohol issues, that has the inside track. Oh yeah, that's credible.

When it comes to advice on what can and can't be consumed over the period of unleavened bread, the Jewish approach is varied, as demonstrated in this article from Atlas Obscura (thanks for the link, Bill! I still mourn the passing of your website.) Kareth, chametz, kitniyot... I don't know about you, but I've been pushed up the learning curve. Nothing is, it seems, as simple as it first appears.

There's a bigger issue here, though: what species of arrogance does it take for an ostensibly Christian group to appropriate Jewish traditions, modify them, impose new meanings to fit in with their literalist eschatology, and then imply that they can teach someone else's granny how to suck eggs?

It gets even worse when we're dealing with the Feast of Tabernacles, but in the spirit of Leviticus 23:4 - declaring the holy days in their seasons - let's leave that till later in the year.

For those folk who are observing the COG version of DUB, I hope everything goes well. But do keep an open mind, and do remember that your pastor and his bosses are winging it when it comes to the details.

Date Line Lunacy (updated)

Pre-2011 Date Line

Well, dusk has turned to dark and the Passover has now "passed over" New Zealand, the first major country in the world to meet each new day as it emerges out of thin air over the International Date Line. Welcome to the Days of Unleavened Bread.

Of course, our Aussie brethren might want to challenge the assertion about "major country," but we'll bide our time: if the cane toads don't get them first then global warming will eventually.

But seriously, how do people outside "the Holy Land" know that they're observing their sacred days on the right days? Why not have the date line in the middle of the Atlantic instead of the Pacific?

Regrettably, there's no proof text at hand. The problem of where to plonk the changeover line never occurred to the biblical writers. As far as they were concerned the earth was flat: heaven above (with Yahweh somewhere beyond the starry canopy), hades below. When the sun went down it passed over bare rocky nether regions that opened out onto nothingness before ascending once more into the bright domains of humankind.

Apparently Yahweh, despite being omniscient, was unaware of the problems that migration to the "Down Under" zone would create. Or the New World for that matter. The International Date Line was eventually set by mere mortals over a few gin and tonics.

Then there's the issue of the kink in the dateline over Tonga. Being sensible, intelligent and perceptive people the Tongans naturally wanted to be on the Kiwi side of the line, but the cartographers wanted to put them in company with the Americas. No wonder they objected! Thus, the dateline was amended - and a bump was created to put Tonga on its preferred side of the temporal chasm.

As I understand it, Seventh-day Adventists in Tonga keep two sabbaths each week as a result: both Saturday and Sunday. Why? Well, the LORD seems not to have spoken specifically on the dented dateline, so they play safe... just in case!

I'm not sure whether there are any Adventists on Kiribati, but there the problem is even more glaring. Until January 1st, 1995 Kiribati was on the Western side of the date line, but the micro-nation decided - again, who can blame them - to grab a day's march on the rest of the world, and thereby become the first place on the planet to welcome in the new millennium (and grab a lot of free publicity.) Boy, I bet the heavenly Department of Holy Days was cheesed off about that one!

Among the calendar fanatics who want to argue about solar/lunar/360 and suchlike, I've yet to come across a single one of these geniuses who can give a poor Tongan, Kiwi or Aussie a bit of biblical assurance that they're not a day out.

In the absence of a solution to this enigma, the whole concept of "Holy Time" outside the Middle East becomes meaningless.

SDA's are given to statements like: "Some people believe the placement of the International Date Line was achieved under divine guidance." Yes, doubtless, but it also logically follows that other people - outside the Saturday/Sunday Sabbatarian gulags - don't. What's needed is proof - or failing that, at least a nice proof text. Vic? Rod? Gerry? Bob? ... Anybody?

None of this has much to do with the spiritual significance of a eucharistic celebration. The Lord's Supper would be the Lord's Supper for observant Christians anywhere. But let's be clear, there is a real problem if you shackle it to a legalistic calculation of "holy time."

Herbert Armstrong always postured about sending a certified bank cheque to anyone who could mail in a Bible verse that commanded Sunday observance. I'm tempted to repeat the offer on the dateline issue. Clearly I won't need to go running to the bank anytime soon.

But if you do come up with a proof text, please be sure to mail it with a Kiribati stamp.

***

A version of the above post first appeared here in 2009. Since then things have continued to get, in the words of Lewis Carroll,  "curiouser and curiouser". The graphic at the top of this piece from 2009 is now inaccurate. In 2011 Samoa flipped over, skipping a Friday and moving straight from Thursday to Saturday, reversing an earlier change made in the 1890s. This latest flip-flop created an anomaly with neighbouring American Samoa, which is now once again a full day behind. In Pago Pago it may be Friday, but just a few kilometers to the west in Apia it's now Saturday.

Ever been told that the seven-day cycle has never been broken? Bullgeschichte.

Little surprise then that it engendered a crisis for the nation's Seventh-day Adventists, many of who have believing relatives in the adjoining jurisdiction, historically just a canoe journey away. Which day is true Sabbath now? If you parked your canoe for a spot of fishing on the invisible line that separates the waters of American Samoa from Samoa, what would you do? When exactly should the Holy Days fall? Can't you just hear one of the COG preachers screeching "brethren, your eternal future is at stake!" But they don't. I wonder why?

If you're awaiting an article in Tomorrow's World or Beyond Today to settle such deep matters, probably best not to hold your breath.

Amen!

Lonnie Hendrix hits the proverbial nail on the noggin with a post on leavening/de-leavening. Even if you're committed to hardtack for the week ahead, the message is still very relevant.

A question for fellow Kiwis and Aussies who have doubtless pondered this question as deeply as I have. Are our shared cultural icons Vegemite and Marmite, both yeast extracts, technically unleavened?

Online here later today a somewhat-related post about calculating Sabbaths and Holy Days, with absolutely nothing to do with to the idiocies of New Moons and Barley harvests that some of the freakier COG sects obsess about.

Date Line Lunacy

Well, dusk has turned to dark and the Passover has now "passed over" New Zealand, the first major country in the world to meet each new day as it emerges out of thin air over the International Date Line.

Of course, our Aussie brethren might want to challenge that assertion about "major country," but we'll bide our time: if the cane toads don't get them first then global warming will eventually.

But seriously, how do people outside "the Holy Land" know that they're observing their sacred days on the right days? Why not have the date line in the middle of the Atlantic instead of the Pacific?

Regrettably, there's no proof text at hand. The problem of where to plonk the changeover line never occurred to the biblical writers. As far as they were concerned the earth was flat: heaven above (with Yahweh somewhere beyond the starry canopy), hades below. When the sun went down it passed over bare rocky nether regions that opened out onto nothingness before ascending once more into the bright domains of humankind.

Apparently Yahweh, despite being omniscient, was unaware of the problems that migration to the "Down Under" zone would create. Or the New World for that matter. The International Date Line was eventually set by mere mortals over a few gin and tonics.

Then there's the issue of the kink in the dateline over Tonga. Being sensible, intelligent and perceptive people the Tongans naturally wanted to be on the Kiwi side of the line, but the cartographers wanted to put them in company with the Americas. No wonder they objected! Thus the dateline was amended - and a bump was created to put Tonga on the civilized side of the temporal chasm.

As I understand it, Seventh-day Adventists in Tonga keep two sabbaths each week as a result: both Saturday and Sunday. Why? Well, the LORD seems not to have spoken specifically on the dented dateline, so they play safe... just in case!

I'm not sure whether there are any Adventists on Kiribati, but there the problem is even more glaring. Until January 1st 1995 Kiribati was on the Western side of the date line, but the micro-nation decided - again, who can blame them - to grab a day's march on the rest of the world, and thereby become the first place on the planet to welcome in the new millennium (and grab a lot of free publicity.) Boy, I bet the heavenly Department of Holy Days was cheesed off about that one!

And what about the long-suffering Samoans, forever doomed to keep the sabbath almost 24 hours after their nearby Tongan brethren.

Among the calendar fanatics who want to argue about solar/lunar/360 and suchlike, I've yet to come across a single one of these geniuses who can give a poor Tongan, Kiwi or Aussie a bit of biblical assurance that they're not a day out.

In the absence of a solution to this enigma, the whole concept of "Holy Time" outside the Middle East becomes meaningless.

SDA's are given to statements like: "Some people believe the placement of the International Date Line was achieved under divine guidance." Yes, doubtless, but it also logically follows that "some people" don't. What's needed is proof - or failing that, at least a nice proof text. Bob? Rod? Gerry? Willie? ... Anybody?

None of this has much to do with the spiritual significance of a eucharistic celebration. The Lord's Supper would be the Lord's Supper for observant Christians anywhere. But let's be clear, there is a real problem if you shackle it to a legalistic calculation of "holy time."

Herbert Armstrong always postured about sending a certified bank cheque to anyone who could mail in a Bible verse that commanded Sunday observance. I'm tempted to repeat the offer on the dateline issue. Clearly I won't need to go running to the bank anytime soon.

But if you do come up with a proof text, please be sure to mail it with a Kiribati stamp.