Regurgitating the Herbal hooey

Are the old boys at LCG even capable of an original feature article concept? Nope. They just regurgitate the same old, same old from years - decades - gone by.

How Would Jesus Vote for President? Gimme a break. Halloween Horrors? Oh please...

But, what me worry, here's the skinny on the September/October issue.

Rod "Spanky" Meredith provides an editorial called "Admit the Cause of Problems." Ironic really, but I guess the man is totally incapable of any form of introspection. Rod's solution is the Ten Commandments.

Rod immediately follows up with the feature article, How Would Jesus Vote for President? It has as much relevance as which brand of cola Jesus would drink. For those of us outside the US it's also hard not to wonder why Jesus wouldn't be as interested in how they vote in Australia, Sweden or India. Myopic Meredith. Anyway, bottom line, its Satan's world, and apparently Spankyites should steer clear of the whole, evil electoral thing. I'd be willing to guess that a large number don't, though. The secret is not to let your LCG minister know - what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Anyway, he'll probably be ticking Trump too.

More politics (but don't vote!) as Laurence Hartshorne burbles on about life in Canada and governments at the turn of past century.

Richard Ames writes on The End of the World. Nothing new here, move along.

Simon R.D. Roberts provides a British focus. He's been reading Simon Schama and has decided to bless TW readers with his insightful thoughts - specifically on "The Norman Apocalypse." Of course BI is tied in. You can almost hear Schama groaning.

Rod McNair bursts a valve over Halloween. Jonathan McNair has a twee youth oriented column that no self-respecting teen would be bothered with.

Dougie Winnail has a lightweight piece about the coming of Jesus Christ as a turning point in world history. Wally Smith seeks to educate us about hummingbirds. Mark Sandor wonders if you've missed the "long predicted" Brexit developments.

Yes, it's a precious and original issue. Downloadable. Just to be fair to the lads over in UCG, it's worth pointing out that no female writer was let near the editor's in-tray here either.

Tomorrow's World - Nice cover, shame about the content

Next cab off the publications rank this month is Tomorrow's World.

Rod Meredith has an editorial entitled Are We Ready for God's Intervention?

Dear readers, when we read the constant reports in the news about how corrupt governments all over the earth are oppressing and impoverishing their peoples, it is obvious that Almighty God will soon intervene!

As if corrupt governments, oppression and poverty were uniquely characteristic of our times... does this guy know nothing of history?

...you will see that this issue’s circulation number has gone down a bit. As many of you know, we ask those who have not been in touch with us for quite a while to “renew” their subscriptions. We are also finding ways to spread this message as cost-effectively as possible, and in ways to reach new audiences. Many of our readers, especially the younger ones, are “digital natives” who do most of their reading on the Internet - on their computers, or even on their smartphones. So, we are reaching out to those readers with a wonderful new “digital flipbook” version of this magazine. 

Harrumpff. Circulation is down, but it's okay, there's this cool flipping book version. Even Douglas will probably be less than impressed.

The lead article, Are You Willing to Change? is also by Meredith. Strange really, in that Meredith is the last person who has shown any willingness to change over long decades. His version of Armstrongism is firmly mired in the past.

Jonathan Riley writes the Canadian column, and he has the CN Tower in Toronto in his sights. The election of Justin Trudeau's government has rattled the LCG, it's a sure sign that all goodness and light is rapidly gurgling down the plughole. The tower has been lit in "rainbow colours in celebration of homosexual pride", hence Riley is doing a very credible Chicken Little impression ("the sky is falling!") Next thing he'll be comparing it to the Tower of Babel.

Oh, wait, he is.

In Genesis 11 we read about the construction of another tower in the Middle East... A people of one mind or purpose, whose desire was contrary to God and whose language was confused, bears striking similarities to the corruption, pride, vanity and nonsensical sociopolitical dialogue we see permeating Canada and Western society as a whole.

"Nonsensical sociopolitical dialogue"? Deeply fascist sects don't like the idea that people with different views can sit down and have a respectful conversion. It's God's way (which is, naturally, their way) or nothing. Kind of like the Taliban.

Global utopia is coming according to Richard Ames in an article that reads a lot like a precis of Herb Armstrong's Wonderful World Tomorrow booklet.

Who will supervise the twelve apostles in God’s coming Kingdom? Remember God called ancient King David “a man after My own heart” in Acts 13:22. Bible prophecy reveals that King David will rule over the united houses of Israel and Judah: “David My servant shall be king over them..."

Everything is obviously sorted; roll on 1972.

John Meakin has the inside word on industrial relations. Employee and employer groups might as well disband now.

But, if an employer is harsh, that is still no excuse to rebel. We read: “Servants, be submissive to your masters with all fear, not only to the good and gentle, but also to the harsh” (1 Peter 2:18). We are also told to “count [our] own masters worthy of all honor” (1 Timothy 6:1).

John apparently feels that the relationship between employers and employees is a master/servant one. I guess that's how they run things in the LCG.

But wait, we've still got the cover article to come: Rod McNair, no less, has written The Great Unraveling. If you thought this might be a prophetic piece about what will happen in the LCG when Meredith goes to Sheol shortly, you'd be wrong. Read this and weep, fellow scoffers...

Scoffers—even some professing Christians—contend that the book of Genesis is myth and fable. But Genesis is Scripture, and all Scripture is given “by inspiration of God” (2 Timothy 3:16). Genesis includes the account of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden — and Jesus quoted from Genesis 1 and 2 (Matthew 19:4–6). Adam and Eve were real, and the choices they made produced consequences for the whole human family. They set in motion the social ills and societal decay we face today.

 So the way of salvation is through stupidity and ignorance of literary genres?

Jonathan McNair dishes up some gratuitous advice on boundaries for the younger readers - if there are any. Douglas Winnail gives a history lesson concerning "the post-Flood years of the Bronze Age". Post-Flood? You get the impression that LCG is staggering even further back into the mirror-arcade of Genesis mythology. How many other impossible things can LCG put on the early breakfast buffet? As if to confirm that TW has gone down the rabbit-hole, J. Davy Crockett, III (no, really, that's his chosen byline) has an article following called Chasing Two Rabbits?

To lend a veneer of scientific competence, Wally Smith has contributed an article called Einstein, God and Gravitational Waves. General relativity meets Armstrongism. Kids, a word to the wise, try not to quote Wally in your science assignments.

The PDF is available to download.

(Next time, The Bible Advocate)

Tomorrow's World - March issue

After yesterday's look through the latest Beyond Today, what can be said about the March/April issue of it's leading competition, LCG's Tomorrow's World?

On the surface, it looks like a news magazine, which is a different strategy from the slightly New Age mountaintop sunrise on the cover of Beyond Today. If it's news journalism you're expecting, though, you're bound to be disappointed.

Rod Meredith editorialises about "Make Each Day Count!" Carpe diem huh? How so? Rod exhorts us:

"We in this Work of the living God hope and pray that all of you will truly “check up” on us. We sincerely want you to prove what you believe and why. Do not believe what I am telling you just because I am telling it to you. Check it out in your own Bible."

Where have we heard that before? "Check up" means read the carefully curated proof texts all the way up the garden path.

Rod also has a long article called "The Answer." Eight rambling pages salted with the usual pitch for BI.

'Truly, the spoiled and arrogant descendants of the so-called “Lost Ten Tribes” of Israel are today found among the American and British-descended peoples, and the peace-loving nations of northwestern Europe.'  

Germanic folk should ignore that, sorry.

Adam West (probably not the much-loved Batman actor) in an article about "The Year of Shakespeare" seems to be saying that the Bard's works should be cleaned up - literally bowdlerised.

Bowdler’s cleansing of Shakespeare’s work was ridiculed as tampering and censorship; however, the time is coming when God will seek to clean and purify all language, and therefore thought, enabling humanity better to praise Him apart from the “blemishes” of perverted words and concepts, double meanings, and pagan references so common to all languages today.

Yup, bring out those blue pencils. Why should the Taliban have all the fun?

The feature article by John Meakin is on migration into Europe. Meakin paints as dark a picture as he possibly can then concludes, not unexpectedly, that there is an "Unprecedented World Crisis Ahead!" and the only solution is "Thy Kingdom Come!" (Yes, the exclamation marks are his.)

You've got to give Wally Smith credit for his one-page article on Easter. First, he actually limited himself to one page - perhaps he could pass on some tips to Rod. Second, he takes a fresh approach to the well-worn 'Easter is pagan' line.

I believe in the risen Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior of mankind. I believe that after His crucifixion on Passover, He was three days and three nights in the heart of the earth—as He said He would be. I believe He was then resurrected by His Father, restored to the glory He had with His Father before the world was.

He was the perfect Passover Lamb. He also became the perfect wave-sheaf offering, accepted by His Father as the first of the firstfruits. In His resurrection, I see confirmation of the promise made to all those who truly follow Him that they, too, will one day be resurrected, to live forever as He now does.

Consequently, I do not keep Easter.

Had me going for a minute. Bonus points for originality.

Doug Winnail has an article entitled "Five Books that Changed the World." What? Four more than Doug's annotated, leather-bound wide margin KJV? Well, no. It's a bit of a cheat because the reference is to the Pentateuch, the five books ascribed to Moses.

The five books of Moses, also called the Pentateuch—Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy—are part of the Hebrew Scriptures (the Old Testament) and claim to be the inspired words of God (Exodus 3:4–6; 2 Timothy 3:16). In striking contrast to other “holy” books, the Bible—including these five most ancient books—contains unique, internal self-authenticating evidence in the form of nearly two thousand prophecies that confirm its divine inspiration. No other text than the Bible—not the Quran, not the Upanishads, not the Tao Te Ching—can rightly claim to contain such specific prophecies that correctly foretell future events.

Doug wants to prove the inspiration of the Bible by day-dreaming about the non-existent predictive prophecies he thinks are in it? Good luck with that Doug.

There's more, but you know the saying about too much of a good thing...

The PDF is available to download.