UCG - fiddling with the World Wide Web

There's no doubt that UCG has an effective Internet presence, so much so that it runs rings around the doddery old fossils operating out of Charlotte, NC. But why rest on their laurels?

Enter GN Internet guru Aaron Booth, who dredges up a veritable fusillade of explosive ideas for the common herd to implement - all designed to further ratchet up the church's online impact.

Oh those UCG strategists... is there no end to their fiendish cleverness?

Brilliant! But I wonder if Aaron is familiar with the concept of "a two-edged sword"?

Jesus as Mussolini

It's election year and the Good News has trotted out the usual tired old articles. What is the Key to Real Leadership? Collaboration? Nope... Ours is a tradition that values ego-driven nutcases parading as servant leaders. Did Herbert Armstrong embody "real" leadership? Does Meredith or Flurry, Hulme or Pack? What about dear old Joe Tkach, touchy-feely New Age-Evangelical Pastor General of WCG? Let's get real, isn't it apparent that these dudes want to play the five-star Pastor General and servanthood is what others do for them and their great cause? (Which is, naturally, identical with what God wants, right?) Do Clyde Kilough and United's COE embody "real leadership?" Jerold Aust has produced an article that is mind-numbing in its inanity.

Howard Davis delivers part two of the four-yearly waffle with a variation on "Who would Jesus vote for?" called Could Jesus Christ be elected President?

I mean, just how dumb is the question? These guys wouldn't know "real leadership" if they tripped over it in broad daylight.

Howard of course doesn't believe in democracy, if I understand his argument. He's got his heart set on a facist super-state. Howard's Jesus is a celestial Mussolini who'll make the trains run on time.

When Christ comes there will be no need for a democratic process to elect the nations' top leadership. (page 9)

Somehow, I don't find that comforting. Leadership in the UCG millenium? DO AS YOU'RE TOLD.

Sorry lads, but that "ideal" doesn't do much for me. I wonder if Jerold and Howard wouldn't be a lot happier living in North Korea or Saudi Arabia?

Meeker's Apology

This is the apology Joel Meeker posted on the UCG Elders' Forum. Wouldn't it be interesting to know if he sent a private apology to Aaron Dean?

From Joel Meeker, Milford OH

I must apologize for my EF post of Wednesday last week. In my message I put the reputation of the organization before the honor of God, when I know that God owns the world and "those who dwell therein" as David said in Psalm 24. I allowed my feelings and communication to be harsh, when in reality I do have confidence that He will “complete a good work” in us as Paul said to the Philippians. His honor is always more important than our organizational concerns of the moment, and I trust He will accomplish what we cannot seem to do ourselves.

I want to apologize to the elders who submitted their ballots in all honesty, knowing that I don't have insight into the prayer, fasting, and sincerity with which you fulfilled your privilege at the GCE.

I want to apologize for posting a negative judgment of "another man's servant." I am reminded in the cool of the day that God tells us not to do so. He reserves the right to judge His servants according to His perfect justice and in His time.

As apologies go I suppose it does the job, but it's hardly fulsome is it? In fact, it almost seems to be what in this neck of the woods (Australia/New Zealand) might even be termed a "Clayton's" apology. It's certainly extremely "preachy."

Special thanks to the sender.

Why Meeker Matters

The spectacle of a leading UCG minister and former COE member screaming and pounding his fists on the carpet may be a tad disconcerting, but does it really matter? Joel Meeker wouldn't be the first COG elder to throw a five-star tantrum, and he won't be the last.

Meeker however is perhaps the UCG's chief asset in the French-speaking world. He has edited French-language publications for Cincinnati, traveling the world on their behalf - Europe, the Caribbean and Africa. If Meeker catches a cold, you'll hear sneezing in Bordeaux. Clyde will have to tip-toe through this particular tulip patch with greatest care.

And, interestingly enough given the current spat, Joel has served as chair of the Ethics, Roles and Rules Committee!

One thing is clear, after this impressive little hissy-fit it'll be difficult to kiss and make up.

A couple of comments from the earlier posting throw some light on Meeker's character:

One year before the GCE he posted and said that the nonsalaried elders who didn't got to AC should talk with their Regional Pastor about who to vote for. Seems that the "worldly educated" elders who didn't go to AC...didn't have the brains to know who to vote for.

Another correspondent notes:

You will note, the term "member" or "membership" or "church members" or "brethren" appears nowhere in Joel's write up.

Which puts some perspective on the matter.

The Meeker Requiem

Biff! Pow! Sock! Wham!

Guess who's not a happy camper...

From: Joel Meeker

To: [UCG Elders Forum]

Sent: Thu, 22 May 2008 5:27 am

Subject: EF: Requiem for truth and honor

Joel Meeker, Milford OH
There have been times in the history of the United Church of God when I've been very proud of this association. There have been times when we've come through trials or temptations with our heads high, and our GCE or COE or particular leaders have performed with distinction.

But now we've disgraced ourselves as a body and I for one am ashamed to be part of this General Conference of Elders.

Last year we prayed and fasted and voted on relocation and it was finally approved by 7 votes. This year we were assured that revisiting the decision would bring unity and closure and everyone would be "brought on board." We fasted and prayed and the relocation was canceled by 10 votes. So far I haven't heard anyone who was so morally indignant last year, complain about this obvious lack of consensus; that this decision was made by such a slender margin. But that wouldn't be due to a double standard, or situation ethics....

This year 9 fewer men voted against the move, 34 fewer men voted to support the relocation. So 43 men, nearly 10% of our GCE, were discouraged enough or disgusted enough or far enough along in the process of disengaging from the GCE that they didn't vote this year when they had last year. Thank you for the new unity, and for getting everyone on board. Or is that silence you hear the sound of some more saints having been worn out?

What does this prove: that 10 is more than 7 so God has finally spoken? Does God work through misinformation, innuendo, and railing accusations against the brothers we have chosen for our administration? Does He accomplish His will through furtive slanderous internet forums and personal attacks? I guess we're supposed to believe so. Thus far those who were in favor of the relocation have generally behaved with decorum and respect, so I expect this issue will remain a dead letter now for some time. Some elders do have a sense of propriety and shame. Would that it had been so with those who worked so hard, with so much misleading misinformation to defeat it. Yes, I'm ashamed to be part of an association that supposedly repudiates factions - where a faction can behave with such cunning ruthlessness and contempt for the truth, and still win its own will.

The most telling blow and the most shameful to us, however, is that an elder who blatantly defied the lawful decision of our president – made in the best interest of the Church, a man who according to the Council showed no repentance or remorse and stated plainly he might do the same thing again any time he chose, who thereby soiled all respect for our rules, our policies, our leaders and anyone who doesn't agree with his own personal view of "God's will," a man who was censured by our COE – an unprecedented act of sanction and disgrace – for his actions and his attitude; that man we have blithely reelected to serve on our Council of Elders.

Shame on him. But even more than that, shame on us.

I suppose we get the leaders we deserve. We shall drink deeply of that cup.

We have just crossed a moral line. I don't believe we can ever go back to the ethics and principle-driven values we at least tried to have before. Populist politics have taken over – just like in the world; we have espoused a post-modern, emotion-driven worldview. A majority of our balloting elders have shown they will not support the consensus of the GCE if they don't feel like it. They have shown that they will listen to mud-slinging and vituperation and even lies, mixed with generous helpings of fawning and flattery and they will willingly cooperate.

They have shown that they don't care about rules or codes if they don't feel like it, even if we've all previously agreed to abide by them. They have besmirched our ministerial code of ethics by reelecting a defiant, self-willed man to the Council.

Either that or they were just duped. And that would scarcely bode any better for the future of this association.

I believe this is the beginning of the end for the United Church of God as we have known it. The fissures caused by the moral earthquake we all just felt will no doubt be papered over for a while and we will be assured that all is well in the best of worlds. Great trees don't fall in an instant, but the cracking sound is getting louder. Some of you have sown the wind; you will in time reap the whirlwind. God is not mocked. In the meanwhile, may God have mercy on His people; they deserve better.

The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.




From: Joel Meeker

To: [UCG Elders Forum]

Sent: Thu, 22 May 2008 6:25 am

Subject: EF: Post may be shared

Joel Meeker Milford OH

My post of this morning may be shared in accordance with our EF rules.

Well shucks...

The news from Kubikistan:

BALLOT RESULTS FOR THE GENERAL CONFERENCE OF ELDERS:

Elected to the Council of Elders:

International: Paul Kieffer
US: Aaron Dean, Darris McNeely, Robin Webber

Motion to rescind the 2007 GCE resolution to relocate in Texas:
For: 186 Against: 176

Wow! After slapping Aaron Dean all the way into next week, Aaron stages an impressive comeback. Dennis Diehl comments: May I be so bold as to suggest that Aaron Dean's censure has started a change that will lead him to the Presidency of UCG next time around?
Gone: Leon Walker, Jim Franks and Larry Salyer. A power shift perhaps from the hardliners to the "progressives"?

Not only that, but the empire builders have just seen their BMW driven off the edge of the cliff. The lads are staying in Cincy.

Gotta love a bunfight... but canst thou sense a gathering of cabals, a whiff of schismatic ozone on the air?

Journal covers Dean discipline

The following item is being carried at The Journal website (www.thejournal.org).

UCG council rebuffs elder Aaron Dean
A firestorm has raged lately on Internet forums fueled by the recent decision by the council of elders of the United Church of God, based in the Cincinnati, Ohio, area, to "censure" one of its members.

The governing 12-man body sent a letter to members of the church's general conference of elders (GCE) in March 2008 informing elders worldwide that Aaron Dean of Gladewater, Texas, a council member since January 1999, had been officially censured. The council's action means Mr. Dean is prohibited from speaking in any UCG congregation until after the 2008 Feast of Tabernacles.

Although the membership of the church was not generally aware of the council's letter to the elders, word of the censure surfaced. Mr. Dean, who served as a personal aide to Worldwide Church of God founder Herbert W. Armstrong from 1974 until Mr. Armstrong's death, in 1986, delivered a sermon and answered questions at a meeting of a Church of God group in Huntsville, Texas, during the 2007 Feast of Tabernacles. Mr. Dean's speaking engagement in Huntsville violated a UCG policy about addressing other groups and brought about the censure.

Photo: Don Bjoraker

AW comment: UCG set out to do things differently from WCG. Headquarters became Home Office, but the mindset endured. Aaron Dean, whatever strengths and fallibilities he might have (as we all have our share) has a reputation as a decent man, and one of the council members most in-touch with the grass-roots of the church. Kilough has effectively demonstrated - once again - that UCG is a long way from living up to the hopes so many held for it.

Earlier coverage of this story here.

UCG - wazzup?

Another interesting tidbit slightly adapted from Bill L in the comments section. Received info today that UCG treasurer Tom Kirkpatrick has tendered his resignation. Apparently this happened in December but has not yet been announced to UCG personnel. It allegedly happened when the Regional Pastors were in Cincy for a meeting where for some reason TK went ballistic with the RPs or some of them at least. Jim Franks is believed to have intervened and offered apologies. This, according to the report, further angered TK so he resigned. And his resignation was accepted. It officially takes effect end of fiscal year in June. So in the meantime TK still comes in to the office and does his work. So I would suppose that makes for an awkward, tense situation in the HO.
Perhaps a good opportunity to also move this item (same source) from the sidebar. It seems a letter has been sent to the elders in UCG regarding Aaron Dean. What sin according to UCG did Aaron commit? He spoke to an outside audience... other than one sanctioned by UCG officials. He is understood to be prohibited from speaking ANYWHERE for the next several months. And the report that I received is that some of the folks he spoke with are considering attending or have attended UCG because of his talk with them. Oh how typical!! When will they learn to stop shooting themselves in the foot???

Are these reports accurate? If so (and this is the point of repeating them here) they paint a highly dysfunctional portrait of life under the Kilough regime. (Wasn't Clyde promising to do a "Nehemiah" when he ascended to the presidency?) If not, let's hear about it. Comments, corrections and clarifications are welcome.

Redefining Morality UCG Style

The latest glossy issue of The Good News is out, and feature writer John Ross Schroeder introduces the keynote article with classic Spanky-speak:

Today the major English-speaking nations watch as a storm of problems draws ever nearer, a storm created by hostile forces that blurred and weakened their sense of morality. Does the Bible indicate where we will go from here?

Stirring stuff. But what about the non-English speakers John? The French, German, Dutch, Danes, Irish, Chinese, Lebanese, Swahili? Oh, sorry, they're not nearly as significant are they? That's because they're not subsumed into the racist doctrine of British Israelism (UCG Edition). Maybe that's their good fortune; after all whoever heard of morality problems in Copenhagen or Amsterdam?

And of course the article concludes with an offer of the UCG publication The United States and Britain in Bible Prophecy. That thing should carry a mental health warning.

But to return to John's rhetorical question: "Does the Bible indicate where we will go from here?"

Short answer: no. The Bible doesn't mention "the major English-speaking nations." The reason is pretty simple; there were no English-speaking nations back then.

Yeah, but what about prophecy? Some folk just salivate at the thought that the Bible set out a road-map for the future in the long-ago.

People like former UCG minister Ronnie Weinland. Need one say more?

Here's what one scholar has to say on that subject:

[M]any people today associate prophecy with predicting the future. It is true that the messages that prophets carried often did bear on things about to happen, but to think of their messages as predictions is to distort their character. Rather, what prophets typically did was announce God's verdict or judgment, to be carried out soon, if not right away. Indeed, one of the most characteristic sorts of messages that prophets brought had an altogether legal ring to it, in which first the offending party's sin was announced and then God's punishment... he was reporting on a decision that had already been made, announcing the sentence just passed on high. (James Kugel, How to Read the Bible, 440)

It flatters our vanity (and in the case of BI strokes our ethnocentrism) to imagine that the Bible lays out history in advance with guess who at its centre. Morality is a universal issue, and the kind of nonsense that confuses it with ignorant speculative fantasies is - to suggest something John may never have thought of - just plain immoral.

The Good News

I like The Good News.

No, really!

Although I'm not a subscriber, the occasional copy of UCG's flagship magazine comes my way. The Good News is a pleasure to handle, has a great design and layout, and a thoroughly professional appearance. In these categories the GN is simply streets ahead of LCG's Tomorrow's World.

The person who deserves the credit is Shaun Venish, a freelance illustrator and graphic designer who graduated from Ambassador College (Pasadena) in 1990 (that's him in creative pose). This guy is good.

But content-wise it's another story.

The Jan-Feb GN belies the slick design with the same tired old ideology that failed thirty years ago in WCG.

For starters the political content is far from subtle. Political content? Sure, what else would you call Melvin Rhodes' imperious articles, or the weltanschau that underlies the World News & Trends section? Objectivity? Fresh thinking? An international perspective? A willingness to challenge comfortable assumptions?

Not a sign of it. This stuff is only marginally less one-eyed than Flurry's Trumpet.

And then there's Paul Luecke's article called Help Your Child Refute Evolution in the current issue.

WCG did a nice little number on the creation/evolution thing once, in fact it was one of the draw-cards that attracted me to The Plain Truth in the first place. Sadly it was all nonsense. I've written about this elsewhere, so won't bore you with those comments here.

Luecke (whose credentials on this subject are not immediately obvious) won't have read it of course, but the US National Academy of Sciences and the Institute of Medicine have released a new book called Science, Evolution, and Creationism. It's tone, according to New Scientist, is not confrontational; rather the book draws attention to those many believers "who do not interpret creation stories literally, and do not view evolution as counter to their faith."

"The authors focus on why understanding evolution is critical to agriculture, medicine and specifically to tackling viruses such as SARS and HIV. They also stress that if Americans do not have a basic scientific literacy, which must include evolution, the nation will not be able to compete in the global knowledge economy."

Which is a thoroughly sane position. The creationism advocated by the GN (and its sponsoring church) is far more dangerous than any of the "bad news" dreamed up in the tormented imaginations of wooden-minded editors and columnists. Children need protecting from the pseudo-science of creationism, not the bogey man of evolution.

"There's nothing wrong
with a 5th Grade understanding of God
... as long as you're in the 5th Grade."
From the movie "For the Bible Tells Me So."

The Good News: great form, shame about the substance.

UCG - Old Dogs and New Tricks

In the real world there's not too much you can make of a difference of opinion among members of a board - whether a school board or the "suits" in a major corporation. Boards are meant to be places where ideas are put up and shot down, differing opinions canvassed and compromise reached.

The Mormon church is a bit different. A resolution, passed down from the First Presidency, is read out and all the hands are (I'm told) raised in silent unity. I guess mindlessness is what they think "being of one mind" is all about.

But what about the UCG. When it was formed there was little precedent other than the rubber-stamp model (which apparently still holds in the administratively unreformed WCG of Joe Tkach.) The new model could be understood in various ways, and it was. Those who hoped it would be the harbinger of a bright, new, inclusive and consultative style soon discovered that old dogs find it hard to learn new tricks, and when you try to make them fetch the newspaper they're likely to bare their teeth and growl instead.

But are things changing in UCG? The Journal reports on a difference of opinion among board members over the planned relocation to Texas. Bob Berendt, Aaron Dean, Bill Eddington, Roy Holladay and Vic Kubik want the decision reconsidered. Eddington is reported as saying that "the issue transcends the location of the home office and that some church leaders had underestimated the unrest and disunity." (Journal, Nov-Dec., and in following quotes)

On the other side of the fence are Robert Dick, Jim Franks, Richard Pinelli, Larry Salyer, Leon Walker, Richard Thompson and church president Clyde Kilough. The Mormon mentality is exemplified by Jim Franks who asks "How can a minority of the council put forward a resolution to overturn that decision and still say I’m in consensus with the council?"

Consensus? Somebody pass that man a dictionary!

The problem for UCG is, though those in favor of the move are in the majority, "it takes only four of the 12 to place a question on the [ballot] for the next general conference, scheduled for May 2008." There's also a petition (!) circulating among UCG ministers to the same effect. "If 25 percent of UCG elders sign it, that resolution will also require that the general conference vote on whether to rescind the original vote to move to Texas."

Is this a sign the UCG board has fallen apart, afflicted by the sin of Korah? Or is it more a case of Machiavellian posturing by power-hungry factions jockeying for the ascendancy?

Or, then again, is it a sign that there's hope yet that it can practice accountability and operate like a board should, demanding something more than a chorus of "yes sir, how high?"

One thing is certain, those on the outside, including a number of independent congregations that were formerly with UCG, will be watching these events carefully.

Another UCG "bah, humbug!"

Yet another "gee whiz" article in the media about Christians who don't keep Christmas. This time it's Arnie Hampton and Todd Carey who step up to the plate in Scrooge-mode, along with a gaggle of similarly-minded non-COGgers : "It's not in the Bible," said Arnold Hampton, 58, minister of the United Church of God Columbia, Md., who hasn't celebrated the holiday since 1966. "Jesus never mentioned it."
These two articles (see the December 21 entry for a link to the other one) have got to be the biggest chunk of exposure UCG has had in a long while, perhaps confirming its status as the "respectable" face of Armstrongism today... which, to look on the positive side, must really have hosed off some of the other break-aways.

UCG Warns the World!

Yes brethren, the United Church of God, an International Association is living (ahem) up to its "international" reputation, with priceless publicity in Taipei.

Check out the Xmas article that prominently features UCG's West Virginia pastor John Foster (shown in the picture prior to stopping off for fried rice on the way home from services in Roanoke.) Put this guy in a red suit with a stick-on beard and don't you think he'd make a perfect Santa!

John has obviously been a busy little bee with similar free publicity a tad closer to home - in North Dakota (you'll need to scroll down on the link.)

Will the Cincinnati/Denton church follow up with a baptizing tour of Asia? Will Home Office begin publishing The Good News in Mandarin? Does anyone know a good Chinese restaurant in Bismarck?

Meanwhile, over at the Living Church of God they're probably not too worried as Taiwan isn't counted among "our Israelitish peoples." That's a wise move as far as I'm concerned, but then I have my doubts about North Dakota as well...

WCG's Becky Deuel

While UCG holds the line on Christmas, WCG gets some free publicity of its own in Manitowoc, Wisconsin, with a feature on associate pastor Becky Deuel.

Among other things, Becky takes a healthy swipe at the "one chance now or fry" variety of Bible belt Christianity.

She believes Jesus is "the" not "a'" way to salvation "but I don't believe this is the only time for Jesus to be your way.

"I believe God offers second chances to say yes or no to having a relationship with Jesus," Deuel said. "Just because you've heard about Jesus doesn't mean you've had the opportunity to have that relationship.

"If I grow up in a Muslim area, it's very difficult to give up everything to live a Christian life, and, in many areas of the world, you will be persecuted if you are a Christian," she said. "God is a God of love and he wants everyone to be saved."

UCG's Great Leap Backward

UCG is relocating to Texas. Details on Stan's blog. Is this another nail in UCG's coffin? Let's think. Did Herb Armstrong's Radio Church of God grow to prominence in the Bible belt? Shucks, no! Did GTA's "new beginning" take off in "down home" Tyler? Nope! For a small religious movement to prosper it needs to define itself against the values of its surrounding culture, not capitulate to them.

The country cousins come a callin'

"Next Wednesday, Mr. Ames, Mr. Apartian and I will be visiting the UCG office in Cincinnati. About a year ago, when two representatives from UCG visited our office in Charlotte, they invited us to make a return visit. We found the visit last year was helpful to maintain lines of communication when issues arise of mutual concern."

Douglas Winnail, LCG Update 11/29/07

Well, well. Which issue of "mutual concern" do you think might have arisen? Nothing about this on the COGwriter blog... puzzling because Bob has heaps to say when the Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches hold a pow-wow (which, unlike this, is hardly "news of the Churches of God"). Could Bob's reluctance be because he's just made his annual unflattering comparison between LCG/UCG financial statements?

Of course they could just be exchanging Xmas cards...

Compulsive Conservatism

The latest issue of the Not-so Good News is about to hit the mailboxes, and the lads in editorial have chosen the theme of addictions as the focus for their bi-monthly platitudes.

Douglas, did you hear that? Few people have made the connection between Armstrongism and addictive disorders as clearly as Douglas Becker. Will this latest issue bring Douglas down, Sennacherib-style, like a wolf upon the Cincinnati fold, or is he - like myself - simply struck speechless by the irony of it all?

The GN is still a quality magazine compared to LCG's Tomorrow's World, but that's not saying much. Take a look at the political content (exhibit one: "Nations around the world gang up on America" - lead item in the World News & Trends section.) It seems that each passing month the commentary becomes more facile and predictable. Will these guys - Schroeder, Aust, Rhodes and company - ever start to think outside the box? Thirty long years ago The Plain Truth produced, despite itself and allowing for very mixed motives, some reasonably cutting edge material on issues like the environment (anyone remember Our Polluted Planet?) OK, so it was part of the doom and gloom thing, but at least it took the focus away from the usual line-up of self-pitying whinges and whines. Could the old blokes at UCG possibly do something as imaginative as that in 2007, or are they just too addicted to playing "ain't it awful" on apple-pie knee-jerk issues.

I guess that's a rhetorical question.

UCG HO ho ho

The United Church of God, an International Acronym [UCGia], is moving its Home Office [HO] to Denton, Texas [TX]. The story goes that they picked up a very nice property at a bargain price, so what's not to like?

Word is out on the grapevine that the fabulous new facility has been sold to the membership minus a few choice bits of information. The remainder of this posting is edited and excerpted from one of the Yahoo newsgroups (reposted in full here).

***

Two or three miles from the property...

Safety-Kleen Systems, Inc., Denton, TX (TXD077603371): Safety-Kleen is a recycling center that specializes in the recovery and recycling of spent solvents and associated wastes. A Resource Conservation and Recovery Act (RCRA) Permit No. HW-50163 was issued for the facility on August 9, 1994. The permit authorizes the facility to accept and process a wide array of hazardous wastes with no disposal on-site. On September 22, October 1, and October 6, 1998, 6EN-HT staff concluded a Compliance Evaluation Inspection (CEI) at Safety-Kleen. On November 12, 1999, EPA conducted a follow-up CEI and noted the following violations: (1) Treatment and/or storage of hazardous waste without a permit in the day tanks,the debris sorting table, and the fluid recycling service unit, and (2) Failure to control air emissions for containers under subpart CC. On March 28, 2000, EPA issued an Administrative Order assessing a civil penalty of $1,617,908.00 plus injunctive relief.

When some of the COE members had been there to visit they were taken in the front way so they did not see these things [the waste center, and a nearby trailer park that houses registered sex offenders] they just saw the pretty parts. So these folks feel they have discovered why the property was so cheap, and are concerned about the location being much less than the desirable one that was presented in the videos and the United News. Most in the GCE do not yet even know about this...

Among the nasties said to be emitted from the factory: toluene and ethyl benzene. Sounds an idyllic locale.

***

So, if all this is true, it's obviously very relevant to the purchase decision. Has UCG gone past the point of no return with the property? Maybe it's time for the members whose tithes are bankrolling the move to phone, fax or email the HO with a few pertinent questions.

It's XMAS Jim, but not as we know it

James Tabor's book The Jesus Dynasty has attracted the attention of top British Biblical scholar Geza Vermes (pictured). In his latest book, The Nativity: History and Legend, Vermes both lists it in his bibliography and notes that “The possibility that Panthera was the father of Jesus has been revived by James D. Tabor...” (167-168)

Also from the Vermes book, this quotation: “... the chances that Jesus was born on 25th December are 1 in 365 (or 366 in leap years). This date was invented by the Western church – as late as the fourth century under the emperor Constantine – as a way to replace the pagan festival of the Unvanquished Sun, and is first attested, to be precise, in a Roman calendar in AD 334.” (10)

The Nativity is published in the UK by Penguin, but not yet available in the US.

On other matters: A while back AW reported on the unexpected visit by UCG's president to LCG headquarters. The public statements from the two church bodies were, in true COG style, 95% smokescreen, and we've now been advised that the UCG minister whose actions led to the unprecedented meeting - an abortive attempt to take his congregation over into LCG - was Herberth Cisneros of El Salvador. All references to Cisneros now seem to have been wiped from UCG's websites.

Meanwhile, damage control on the Bryce defection seems well underway in LCG, judging from the approach by LCG minister Wally Smith.

10 Bad Reasons to go "Bah, humbug!"

Unlike some of the articles the GN crew write, I usually take time to read Scott Ashley's stuff. Not to say I agree with him much, but judging from past correspondence he's a polite and generous spirited fellow. Melvin Rhodes I avoid. If I wanted right-wing rhetoric and Gingrich quotes (oops, sorry Mel, I mean MISTER Gingrich) I could read WorldNetDaily.

Anyway, in the latest GN Scott has reworked an ancient article from Tomorrow's World (the WCG one, not the pallid imitation from LCG) on why reasonable folk should shun the seasonal festivities of Xmas. I could be wrong, but I believe David John Hill churned out the original version in the early seventies. At the time I was mightily impressed.

So here's Scott's updated Ten Reasons, with some impertinent personal comments attached:

(1) Christmas is driven by commercialism. Indubitably. But so is Mothers Day.

(2) Christmas is nowhere mentioned in the Bible. Very true. Nor is Independence Day, Queen's Birthday, Labour Day or Waitangi Day (feel free to choose whichever relates to your jurisdiction.) Oh, and nor is Mothers Day.

(3) Jesus wasn't born on or near Dec. 25. Agreed. Then again, those of us in the Dominions loyal to Her Majesty (God bless 'er) officially celebrate her natal day on a date other than her actual birthday. Is that a problem?

(4) The Christmas holiday is largely a recycled pagan celebration. Absolutely. But so are the Old Testament Holy Days. Agricultural festivals were deeply rooted in the culture of the Middle East, and versions of Tabernacles, Pentecost and so forth all had their parallels in older fertility celebrations: check out any half-decent reference work. If it was good enough for God to recycle those dubious events, what's the beef with Mithras' birthday? Plenty of precedent!

(5) God condemns using pagan customs to worship him. Yes indeed. But if you take a pagan custom (an agricultural festival in the Autumn perhaps) and retread it with new significance, then it obviously isn't a pagan custom any more.

(6) Christmas is worshipping God in vain. Um, no. Not unless you believe worshipping God with genuine motives is capable of being in vain. If you think that, then you've confused means with ends. Can honest, loving acts of praise and thankfulness ever be in vain?

(7) You can't put Christ back into something He was never in. This is just slogan splitting. "Let's put Christ back into Xmas" is a PR line, probably dreamed up by an American ad agency, and I agree with Scott that it's not a very good one. But hold it, what if we said "let's put Christ back in the center of our family life"? Sound any better? But Christ was apparently a bachelor who on one occasion snubbed his dear old mum and siblings (Mark 3:31-35.) Does that mean that the thought behind the saying is wrong? If people "regard the day" in the sense Paul speaks of, who's to say Christ isn't there for them?

(8) The Bible nowhere tells us to observe a holiday celebrating Jesus Christ's birth - but it clearly does tell us to commemorate His death. The Bible nowhere tells men to wear suits and ties to Sabbath services - but this doesn't worry Richard Pinelli overmuch. The Bible nowhere mentions Winter Sports festivals for teens, SEPs or talent shows. Setting Christmas in opposition to the Lord's Supper is sheer sleight of hand: the two go together quite nicely.

(9) Christmas obscures God's plan for mankind. Oh, come on. If the festivals so clearly portray "God's plan", how come Judaism seems to have missed the obvious? Anyone who thinks this argument holds water should do a little reading on the significance Jews find in their festivals. Regrettably, to quote Scott out of context, the COG festivals are "a hodge-podge of unbiblical customs and beliefs thrown together with a few elements of biblical truth." I mean, does even Scott erect a booth in his back yard to celebrate Tabernacles the Biblical way?

(10) I'd rather celebrate the Holy Days Jesus Christ and the apostles observed. Okay, first valid reason. It's a choice, a preference, and fair enough. However I'm not so sure you could argue that Paul continued to observe the Holy Days, but that's opening up a whole extra issue.

Actually, I'm not fussed about Xmas. Those carols in the stores drive me nuts. But I recollect Xmases past when, as a kid, the extended clan would gather, the smell of pine needles in the house, the excitement of waking early on Xmas morning, shelling pea-pods as my part in the feast of home grown produce accompanying a roast meal, the pulling of Christmas crackers and the cautious consumption of Xmas pudding drowned in custard and cream (cautious because there were "thruppences" buried in that thing and you could break a tooth!) Pagan? C'mon Scott, get a grip.

Clyde comes-a-callin'

Okay, so there's this "confidential" email in the in-tray today. A COG insider - connected with either the LCG or UCG - who has some observations to share about the recent entente between the respective bodies. You'll recollect that the Latter-day Nehemiah came down to kiss Papa Smurf's papal ring in Charlotte a few weeks back. Considering all the subsequent blather intended to squelch rumors of merger, you'd have to wonder why it happened at all.

For what it's worth, here's the gist of it. Fact or fiction, you decide.

Dateline: "South of the Border" (we're talking tacos here.) A UCG minister is screwed around by the Ohio oligarchy. He thinks he's going to be honorably retired, but his alleged wrongdoings are spilled out from the pulpit while he and his family are right there in the congregation. Not a good look. Result? Unhappy campers.

Unhappy campers then forge contacts with local LCG as they're severely hacked off. Hiring a minister across the Siegfried Line of organizational borders is discussed. Members start turning up at LCG services. We're talking LEAKAGE brethren. "I think," says the source, "the UCG tried to head it off at the pass."

Yes, dear readers, if the report is accurate this was a boundary dispute. The UCG poodle wandered into the neighbours' back yard to water their cucumbers and sniff the back end of the crusty old fox terrier.

Again, that is simply my version of the tale told (the original was poodle-free), and I'm happy to hear from anyone in the UCG willing to "set the record straight." One can only observe that it makes a tad more sense than the prim press statements from UCG or the "nothin' ain't happ'nin'!" protestations from Charlotte.

Believe it - or not...