What Meredith knows about Atheists

The aged Presiding Evangelist awoke with a new question buzzing between his gray temples. It was clearly a visionary experience, for when was the last time he had stumbled upon a new question? 1953?

Moving with remarkable rapidity for one so advanced in years, he grabbed a sharp yellow pencil with shaking hands and wrote the question down on the back of the draft co-worker letter he had been working on the night before:

"Why Atheists?"

Not "why atheism?", which might seem the more logical title, but "why atheists?" Clearly this was a case of divine inspiration. The Eternal Himself had appeared to His servant in a dream of Danielic proportions and planted this very question. If only he could remember the dream itself! Perhaps the great God needed to keep his faithful servant humble. Humility, the Presiding Evangelist mused, is no easy thing, but I do my best.

Over the next several days the number three person in the Government of God (under, of course, God the Father and Jesus Christ) pondered deeply on the new question. Long decades of sinless living provided him with keen insight and soon he was penning the profound truth - soon to be published for all the world to see in the March-April issue of Tomorrow's World.

Why atheists? How plain the truth actually is! Atheists have been deceived by the theory of evolution into ignoring the undeniable proof of Bible prophecy!

And if anyone knew about Bible prophecy it was the presiding evangelist.

Perhaps without realizing it, today's atheists basically "hide their heads in the sand" and simply ignore the awesome prophecies of the great God, as recorded in His inspired word! Yet they are not being fully honest intellectually, unless they admit into their minds the knowledge of the great God of creation, and how He has intervened in the past and even now is intervening in human affairs!
(Emphasis in original)

Naturally, it would be problematic to list any or all of those awesome prophecies: it was unlikely, but there's always a smart-ass who insists on checking them out in Eerdmans Commentary or some such "intellectual" reference work, and that would cause problems. If they were tithing as they ought to there shouldn't be a problem - they simply couldn't afford a copy, but nothing could be guaranteed in these Laodicean End Times. Best to keep it general - a quote from Isaiah 46 in the NKJV about "declaring the end from the beginning" should do the trick - and then he could move on to swat a few more dead flies: the six-day creationist types who willfully ignore the gap theory share in the blame for atheists. The question of suffering is checkmated by the concept of free will. False Christianity has muddied the waters...

The presiding evangelist sat back in his leather swivel chair and paused. The new question was answered. It was another inspired article - almost (a little thrill ran down his spine) God-breathed... but one must be humble, and he whispered the word to himself again: almost!

DCM - a different COG ministry...

Here's a link to a COG ministry that breaks the mold.

No dire warnings about impending doom and gloom.

No nonsense about Anglos being Israelites.

No thinly veiled conservative political pontifications parading as insightful inside-track news commentary.

It may be that Wes White believes all or some of the above - don't know and don't particularly care. But Dynamic Christian Ministries - operated by Wes, wife Nancy and Jared Weese - substitutes puppet shows for ponderous preachments, so who can complain?

Wes is also the author of a Dan Brown-style novel, Clan of Lilith - obviously a long-time independent thinker.

Did I mention the blog?

It's nice to occasionally prove the "anti-COG" fulminations of Dr Thiel wrong by giving some positive coverage to intra-COG developments. Examples are admittedly few and far between, so it's a pleasure to acknowledge them when possible.

COGs Online

It's been awhile since AW last looked at how the Internet was being used by COG sects and ministries. The following "top ten" list is based on Alexa rankings earlier this week.

1. Ronnie Weinland's the-end.com. Depressing! This guy's temporary "success" is like rat poison for the less screwy COGs. Ranked in the 108k band. If that sounds low, consider that the Southern Baptist official website only manages 283k!

2. I think I'm getting a headache. In at 119k is the Pack cult (thercg.org)

3. Okay, so there aren't too many GN fans here, but in this company the GN is positively balanced and rational: 127k.

4. In at 138k, it's Joe & Co: wcg.org

5. Grab a barf bag. Pack takes out no. 5 with his realtruth website. 141k.

6. The numerically biggest COG group - ucg.org manages to rank in the 160k band

7. A round of applause for amateur night: biblestudy.org (222k)

8. Gerry Flurry's trumpet toots in at 248k, just inside the top quarter million.

9. Hulme's vision.org - 252k.

10. Spanky and the team in Charlotte bring up the caboose at 342k with tomorrowsworld, slightly ahead of UCG's beyondtoday (358k) but well behind those Southern Baptists!

Of course, Alexa's rankings are based on a sample... and the lower they go the more subject to error. But for the top ten above the indicators are probably right on the money. You can check out your favorite/least favorite site's current status for yourself here.

Weinland Warns the World

A lot of folk have been winding up on this blog lately after tapping "Ronald Weinland" (or "Ron Weinland") into Google. If you're one of them - welcome!

To access past postings here on Ronnie Weinland, click the Weinland label at the bottom of this entry. If you haven't come across it yet, you might like to also check out the Weinland Watch blog (unrelated to AW).

The "short and skinny" on Weinland is that he has a past history with the Worldwide Church of God under Herbert W. Armstrong, and later the United Church of God. I imagine neither organization would want to know him these days, and he currently runs his very own designer sect. Armstrong was, and the UCG is, "Adventist" in the sense that the End of the Age is supposedly just around the corner, based on a misreading of passages in Daniel, Revelation, Matthew 24 and elsewhere. Armstrong also speculated about dates - though nothing as crass as Weinland - before getting his fingers burned (and ruining a lot of lives in the process). UCG isn't silly enough to set actual dates.

Weinland speaks well, and with considerable self assurance. But a bravura display of bravado means absolutely nothing, and you won't have to wait long to see egg splattered on this particular prophet's pasty pate: Weinland has proclaimed April 17 as the beginning of the Great Tribulation.

If you're interested in the sort of peripheral ideas he's on about - the Sabbath and other biblical doctrines - less toxic or off-the-wall versions can be found - such as the Church of God (Seventh Day).

The Weinland prophecies are set to crash and burn, providing sociologists of religion with an interesting case study in delusional stupidity. (In fact it wouldn't surprise me if some university grad students had been planted in Weinland-land in order to get up close to their research subject!) For the other Churches of God he's just an embarrassment, and for ex-members (like the people who frequent this blog) a painful reminder of just how loopy things could occasionally get.

Dante's Alphabet Soup

From Bill F. of Ekklesia fame. For the full effect, click to enlarge.

Talk about being in deep... shock.

The World Tomorrow meets the Easter Bunny

After a less than memorable week suffering from what in less PC times was called “Delhi Belly”, I woke this morning to a sun-drenched late Summer's day hopeful of a quiet “Good Friday” to aid recovery.

The Good Spirit apparently took pity on me and decided to lend a hand. Overnight some idiot had wiped out a major power pole on the main road, and there's nothing quite as conducive to a quiet day as the complete absence of electricity.

What to do? I pottered around for a while before deciding that there was obviously time to go back to yesterday's unopened Dominion Post and tackle the daily crossword. That accomplished, I flicked through the front sections with their usual excellent coverage of things I'd rather not know about, when my eye fell on the annual Easter homily from the Wellington Council of Churches.

Like everyone else I normally ignore this sort of seasonal fluff, but this case was an exception. The intro to the column begins: “Dennis Gordon, for the Council of Wellington Churches, writes about the significance of Easter.”

There's a photograph of an Orthodox processional, with crucifix aloft, then the headline: “Easter Means Life.”

Down the bottom is a little info on the writer: “Dr Dennis Gordon is an evolutionary biologist and a member of the British-based Society of Ordained Scientists.”
Which is all true and very impressive. But Dennis' potted bio omits the interesting fact that his ordination is as an elder in the Worldwide Church of God.

In fact, I remember sitting through several of Dennis' sermonettes (mumble) years ago. Dennis was by reputation, and clearly still is, a decent, gifted and honest man, if not a riveting speaker, though I've never had the chance to chat with him in person. Just last year he featured in the WCG church magazine Odyssey.

I'll admit to a moment of disorientation anyway. After all, here's a survivor of the Armstrong years, including the vicious anti-liberal “cultural revolution” of 1979 onward, who:

• Describes himself as an evolutionary biologist.
• Is spokesperson for a prominent ecumenical organisation.
• Delivers an Easter homily for the unwashed secular hordes, and
• Belongs to a church tradition that long lambasted “all of the above.”

So, what does Dennis have to say? I regret that the Dominion Post (New Zealand's best daily paper, with only feeble competition from the awful Auckland Herald) usually doesn't place this sort of thing on their website, so a few notes may be helpful.

• No Saints! It's “the first century apostle John” and “the apostle Paul,” which is my enduring preference too – very properly non-conformist.
• A predictable lineup of apologists on parade: C.S. Lewis and John Polkinghorne.
• An unconsciously apt (?) reference to Jekyll and Hyde.
• And a concluding paragraph worth quoting:

“Easter celebrates new life and rebirth, and the beauty of it is that we can get a foretaste of that in the here and now as we experience a turning around and a new outlook on life. The ultimate outcome will be a transformed planet (literally heaven on earth) – something that the rest of the organic creation looks forward to, in a manner of speaking, with great anticipation.”

The World Tomorrow meets the Easter Bunny!

I wonder if Dennis, all those years ago, could have possibly imagined himself promoting an ecumenical “Son-rise service” in the nation's capital. And I wonder whether, next time he steps up on behalf of the Wellington churches, he might like to share the identity of the church of his choice.

Incredibly it's 3.30 and the power is still out. While the laptop still has some battery juice I'm going to shut down and throw digestive caution to the winds: off to find a flat white and a suitably gooey chocolate egg. Happy Easter!

Dinner with Herb

I am NOT responsible for the following video. All credit goes to the person (whose identity I don't know) who found this classic propaganda clip and added a new music soundtrack. Revel in the splendor of the Herbal table, the godly elegance of the furnishings and the priggishness of the carefully selected student guests. But don't just view it here - click across to K-Scribe's splendid, elegant, godly (but decidedly unpriggish) website for more.

Actually, I think the original version, with Herb plonking a Chopin etude (?) would be every bit as Monty Pythonesque...

UCG - wazzup?

Another interesting tidbit slightly adapted from Bill L in the comments section. Received info today that UCG treasurer Tom Kirkpatrick has tendered his resignation. Apparently this happened in December but has not yet been announced to UCG personnel. It allegedly happened when the Regional Pastors were in Cincy for a meeting where for some reason TK went ballistic with the RPs or some of them at least. Jim Franks is believed to have intervened and offered apologies. This, according to the report, further angered TK so he resigned. And his resignation was accepted. It officially takes effect end of fiscal year in June. So in the meantime TK still comes in to the office and does his work. So I would suppose that makes for an awkward, tense situation in the HO.
Perhaps a good opportunity to also move this item (same source) from the sidebar. It seems a letter has been sent to the elders in UCG regarding Aaron Dean. What sin according to UCG did Aaron commit? He spoke to an outside audience... other than one sanctioned by UCG officials. He is understood to be prohibited from speaking ANYWHERE for the next several months. And the report that I received is that some of the folks he spoke with are considering attending or have attended UCG because of his talk with them. Oh how typical!! When will they learn to stop shooting themselves in the foot???

Are these reports accurate? If so (and this is the point of repeating them here) they paint a highly dysfunctional portrait of life under the Kilough regime. (Wasn't Clyde promising to do a "Nehemiah" when he ascended to the presidency?) If not, let's hear about it. Comments, corrections and clarifications are welcome.

Redefining Morality UCG Style

The latest glossy issue of The Good News is out, and feature writer John Ross Schroeder introduces the keynote article with classic Spanky-speak:

Today the major English-speaking nations watch as a storm of problems draws ever nearer, a storm created by hostile forces that blurred and weakened their sense of morality. Does the Bible indicate where we will go from here?

Stirring stuff. But what about the non-English speakers John? The French, German, Dutch, Danes, Irish, Chinese, Lebanese, Swahili? Oh, sorry, they're not nearly as significant are they? That's because they're not subsumed into the racist doctrine of British Israelism (UCG Edition). Maybe that's their good fortune; after all whoever heard of morality problems in Copenhagen or Amsterdam?

And of course the article concludes with an offer of the UCG publication The United States and Britain in Bible Prophecy. That thing should carry a mental health warning.

But to return to John's rhetorical question: "Does the Bible indicate where we will go from here?"

Short answer: no. The Bible doesn't mention "the major English-speaking nations." The reason is pretty simple; there were no English-speaking nations back then.

Yeah, but what about prophecy? Some folk just salivate at the thought that the Bible set out a road-map for the future in the long-ago.

People like former UCG minister Ronnie Weinland. Need one say more?

Here's what one scholar has to say on that subject:

[M]any people today associate prophecy with predicting the future. It is true that the messages that prophets carried often did bear on things about to happen, but to think of their messages as predictions is to distort their character. Rather, what prophets typically did was announce God's verdict or judgment, to be carried out soon, if not right away. Indeed, one of the most characteristic sorts of messages that prophets brought had an altogether legal ring to it, in which first the offending party's sin was announced and then God's punishment... he was reporting on a decision that had already been made, announcing the sentence just passed on high. (James Kugel, How to Read the Bible, 440)

It flatters our vanity (and in the case of BI strokes our ethnocentrism) to imagine that the Bible lays out history in advance with guess who at its centre. Morality is a universal issue, and the kind of nonsense that confuses it with ignorant speculative fantasies is - to suggest something John may never have thought of - just plain immoral.

The same but different

The journey many of us have experienced out of WCG is not all that different from those who've left other restrictive movements. A while back I read about a woman's struggle to leave the Exclusive Brethren, and my first reaction was "snap!"

But there do seem to be differences between the XCG gang and the rest - or is it just my narrow bias showing? Here's what I mean.

Name three splinters from Jehovah's Witnesses. (I can name just one off the top of my head.)

Name three splinters from Seventh-day Adventism. (No, COG7 doesn't count! I can name only two.)

Now name ten WCG splinters. No sweat! Only ten though? I can probably list twenty without coming up for breath...

Observation: Why is it that WCG has fractured so, well, prolifically? Surely there has to be a prize for this fecundity of asexual reproduction.

But wait, there's more.

Name a JW/SDA ex-member support site that looks anything like The Painful Truth? Or even an equivalent venting blog to AW? Name another group of sectarian "dissidents" that has produced anything remotely similar to the late John Trechak's brilliant Ambassador Report?

Observation: Ex-members of other groups usually leap online to push a doctrinal barrow. We have folk who do that of course - and with gusto - but as a group we also like to hang out and shoot spitballs for the sheer hell of it. The closest thing I can think of is recovering Scientologists.

Name a genuine biblical scholar - the sort with real qualifications - who has come out from the JWs? The Exclusive Brethren? Yet ex-WCG scholars include Lester Grabbe, James Tabor and the late Charles Dorothy, to name just three. Not bad for a sect that never grew much beyond 100k.

Observation: What explains that?

Now, finally, check out a Bible focussed website that runs those irritating "intelligent" Google ads and count up the representation from nutty WCG splinter ministries. Can anyone else even begin to compete?

Observation four: We may be tottering on the demographic cliff's edge, but it sure isn't for lack of exposure.

Just another disintegrating sect? Yep. But what factors explain the differences?

(On a truly depressing note, a check of Alexa web-rankings yesterday reveals that Weinland's the-end.com is currently the most viewed COG-related website, numbering 111,836 on the hit parade.)