Between the theory--the philosophy, if you please--and the practice, there
is a great gap.
This gap is known as hypocrisy.
In this great yawning chasm is the human selfishness which is exhibited in
religious malpractice.
It just seems that some people don't think the rules apply to them!
Like the Televangelist who wrote the book:
"Preachers Do More Than Lay People"
Ministers today, like doctors, no longer make house
calls, depending upon who is in the house of course.
And a group of us guys got together and formed:
Premise Keepers!
We’re just a bunch of feel good guys. We get
together in droves to celebrate our man-ness. We’re not always neat, we’re not
always clean, we’re not always honest, we’re often hypocrites, but we’re
always guys (unless we get that sex change we’ve always wanted.)
Image is important to us, so we want to put
our best foot forward, whether it’s in a Gucci Shoe, a Birkenstock, or just
bare. We want to appear Christian, so we can have excuses to have a good time.
There’s nothing like gathering 60,000 of us together in a big stadium and
shouting back and forth "We love pizza, yes we do; we love pizza, don’t you
too." Then we go home and tell everybody that we were shouting "We love Jesus,
yes we do; We love Jesus, don’t you too!"
A lot of us are
gay and
bi,
so this is also a good opportunity to hug cute, good looking straight fellas
who don’t have a CLUE what we’ve just done. Mostly though, this is an
opportunity to get away from our wives and children for a weekend. Don’t
worry, they benefit! We come back refreshed and happier so we can tolerate
their nagging and whining again. That’s why we have to do this periodically,
or we would go stone cold nuts.
And we cry a lot. It feels good. We’re just emotional feel
good guys. We’re the Premise Keepers. We keep the following premises:
- We just gotta get away for the weekend
once in a while;
- You can be religious, as long as it feels
good;
- Nobody can feel guilty about being what
they are or do;
- This is strictly a guy thing;
- Everybody has to hug and sing;
- We have to keep up our image as caring
sensitive guys;
- We have to look like we’re trying;
- Promise anything, just get ‘em off our
backs;
- We love Pizza.
