As the Days of Herb Were

Wouldn't you know it, the lads at COGWA's Discern magazine have an article called Who Would Jesus Vote For? Erik Jones seems to have been channeling Rod Meredith. Nothing new under the dying Herbal sun.

Discern is the magazine you're having when you're not having a magazine. It's an el cheapo download... no hard copy subscriptions. Like other COG publications, it provides a constant stream of "ain't it awful" commentary. The world is going to wrack and ruin, nobody is keepin' the Ten Commandments, and the only hope left is a strong hand from someplace (nod, wink, the return of a militant Christ to smash recalcitrant kneecaps). Cue the article by Jim Franks, the sort of thing that wouldn't have been out of place in a 1940s Plain Truth.

David Treybig has his eye on the ancient enemy, Satan the Devil, and has helpfully written an article called Satan: A Profile. No mention of dualistic Zoroastrian mythology imported into Judaism. Hmm, wonder why. Could it be Dave doesn't know that stuff.

Jeremy Lallier writes about visionaries. His examples are biblical characters. Mike Bennett asks one of the dumber rhetorical questions: Is God Fair?

Behold brethren, a woman writer! Scott Ashley take note! Becky Sweat has a three-page article entitled You Don't Say! Neal Hogberg writes about modern-day slavery. Erik Jones returns with another piece on where the popular image of Jesus ("pale, long-haired") came from. Actually, I think Erik is caught in a time warp. Contemporary portrayals have changed from the doe-eyed Nordic dude to a more realistic image of a Palestinian Jew.

Joel Meeker writes his usual column - heaven knows why - and the back page promotes COGWA's laughably silly e-book called, ahem, The United States, Britain and the Commonwealth in Prophecy. Knock yourself out.

Downloadable... in fact, that's the only way you'll get a copy.

Happy COG families, parables, Nuclear Neal, and Joel at Armageddon

Break out the milk and cookies, the latest edition of COGWA's not-a-magazine magazine, Discern, is its "happy families" issue.

Happy families? That's always been part of a wholesome PR that goes way back to the seventies, and doubtless beyond that. If you want to know how to break free of the real world, flesh and blood pains and ambiguities of marriage and parenting, do we have good news. Our experts (hack writers) can lead you into the all-American stereotype. Families with flashing white teeth, smiles, the embodiment of niceness and compliance.

Which makes it difficult to explain why so many church kids ditch the whole enterprise just as soon as they're free to walk out the door.

Having said that, there's probably some good advice in this issue. The problem is that good advice is hardly as useful as good example, and how are you going to raise strong, independent, autonomous kids when Mummy and Daddy are doormats to a controlling, high demand sect that tells them what to think?

This edition begins with sagacious advice from the editor, Clyde Kilough. Is Clyde a control freak? I've no idea, but there are a few folk from his days as Beloved Leader at UCG who probably have a well-formed opinion. Becky Sweat has the cover article, 7 Characteristics of Healthy Families. Amazing how that number seven keeps turning up when COG writers want to make a list. It's all very nice, but also somewhat trite (e.g. number 1: A deep commitment to one another).

David Treybig writes on lessons he learned from his parents. Again, there's nothing wrong with what he offers, but it's also fairly platitudinous (e.g. work hard). You might not be surprised to find that "encourage critical thinking" gets missed from the list. At least Dave didn't try to pad it out to the biblical seven. My reaction to number one is a bit jaundiced: "loving authority". Did you say authority?

If  the  Creator  God,  the  being  with  the  most  authority in the universe, can take the time to educate grown-ups on the consequences of their actions, shouldn’t parents do the same for their children?

Now, see, there's the problem Dave, starting with the word 'if' and then moving on to Sky Father imagery. Not that Dave would have a clue what I'm talking about I guess.

Mike Bennett ties in happy families with Sabbath keeping. Sounding semi-enlightened Mike proclaims "The Sabbath was made for man - and families." Maybe he's been dusting off one of the old Bacchiocchi titles. Treybig is back with a piece on the prodigal son parable. It has "overlooked meaning" apparently, so we're all very lucky that Dave can set us straight, courtesy of ten minutes skimming through the Expositor's Bible Commentary.

Jeremy Lallier writes about Putting Character to the Test, based on another parable, the good Samaritan. Then, wouldn't you know it, Mike Bennett is back with the encouraging news that "You can become a Saint!" (in the sense that all Christians are saints). But shouldn't that be you are a Saint?

So far, so vitamin-fortified, family-friendly biblical, but where's the precious (should that be precocious) prophecy? Fear not little flock, Neal Hogberg to the rescue with "New Nuclear Nightmares." Neal rarks up the fear factor, which is, let's face it, the tried and true strategy that has brought home the kosher bacon for COG sects since before the Radio Church of God launched in the 1930s.

Is there more? Erik Jones asks What Did and Didn't Jesus Look Like? (Hint: he had short hair. Yep, I'm as surprised as you aren't.)

No issue of Discern would be complete without a contribution from Joel Meeker. Joel plays on his experience as an amateur archaeologist with a one-page column on the joys of shifting dirt at Armageddon. I'm sure, once he'd finished, he uttered the words "Armageddon outa here!"

You can't read a hard copy issue because it seems COGWA does this on the cheap as a download only. The link at the top will take you to a page where you can do just that. Knock yourself out.

One Accord, Two Accord WCG

Is this Jim Franks or Clyde Kilough?

One Accord. It's a name we associate with COGWA through its member mag.

Worldwide Church of God. Pretty clearly that's Grace Communion International before it rebranded.

So what would you make of a group calling itself One Accord Worldwide Church of God Inc.

Yes brethren, it exists, though it seems unrelated to its namesakes.

Do you think the good folk at OAWCOG have any idea of the Herbalist connections? Located in Red Springs, North Carolina, you'd think that'd be a given, but who knows?

And just an afterthought... did COGWA choose the name "One Accord" in a moment of subliminal inspiration based on this group's use of the name? Hmm.

One Accaudle

I'm sure you'll be as thrilled as I am to know that the June issue of One Accord, the COGWAddler member mag, is now available. The theme of the issue is the ongoing success of the Foundation Institute, COGWA's version of Living University, or the Ambassador Bible College etc. etc.

I've never worked out why the COGs don't just pack up their budding young ministerial recruits, provide a toothbrush (branded with the church logo) and a generous study allowance, and send them off to a real university to acquire a real degree. It'd certainly be a lot cheaper. But then, I guess, there'd be fewer jobs for the lads in suits, and you never know what crazy ideas the youngsters might pick up without the oversight of salaried enforcers.

But what a pleasure to see the gang lined up for group photos. And my, there's that nice Mister Jeff Caudle, former High Poobah of the UCG in New Zealand. No explanation as to why he was caught up in what seems a very basic program of study, though Jim Franks implies it's because he "recently relocated to the area from New Zealand." That's a reason? Presumably it was felt that he needed to be retreaded to re-enter the ministry. Funnily enough, just yesterday Jeff's name came up in conversation. And yup, there he is, large as life and apparently still keeping (perhaps) one step ahead of the Karma Fairy.

Other matters covered include an article on divorce (I thought Jeff might have written that, but it's by Cecil Maranville), news from local congregations, boot scoots (huh?), ox roasts, Doug Horchak on his excellent adventure in Africa (maybe he'll need remedial classes now too?) and an article by John Columbo on parenting using God as an exemplar... which could be a tad more problematic than John seems to realise.

Available to download.

One Accord

There are a couple of things that strike home about the latest issue of COGWA's member mag, One Accord. The first is a financial statement. There for all to see. Transparent. $11 million bucks in member-sourced income. Whatever reservations you have about COGWA, and I have a truckload, you can only wish certain other groups - particularly one based in Glendora - would follow suit and open the books up to their members and supporters.

The second is the blunt attempt to root COGWA in its pre-divorce prehistory. COGWA is a fairly recent UCG split. Not so, gentle reader, if you take the mag seriously.

* Mark Whynaucht [a COGWA minister] has been in the Church almost his entire life, ever since his parents started attending when he was 3 years old.
* 50th Anniversary of the Western Arkansas Church of God
* A Mr and Mrs Baker "began attending the Greensboro, North Carolina, congregation in November of 1963."

A casual reader unaware of the long history of divisions would think that COGWA has been around for yonks. The real pedigree is nothing like the impression One Accord promotes.

Elsewhere Jim Franks has a math lesson on counting Pentecost, Doug Horchak reports on an elite program for couples chosen by their all-wise pastor for future greatness (how else?) and Mike Bennett waxes eloquent on the Holy Spirit, Pentecost and "the awesome power of wind".

The PDF is available for download.

Run like the wind!

Getting marriage advice from the levitical gurus of COGWA? Not a wise idea. But the COGWAddlers seem to be thriving in that area. This from the April 28 announcements.

No, no, no, no. Run! Run for your lives. No good will come of this. Find a marriage counsellor. Someone with empathy, experience and a functioning brain stem.

Discern - "a sort of guide to the ultimate guide"

The latest issue (May-June) of COGWA's virtual mag Discern is now out. Is it any more impressive than the parallel issue of Beyond Today (reviewed here)? In terms of cover art, Discern is the clunkiest. More significantly, the quality of the analysis in Discern may be indicated by editor Clyde Kilough's decision to approvingly quote Joe Kovacs' eminently stupid book Shocked by the Bible in his introductory piece. If this issue has a theme, it's bad-to-the-bone Bible prophecy.

Jeremy Lallier in the lead article assures us that God knows stuff Google doesn't.

"we created this edition of Discern to serve as a sort of guide to the ultimate guide. Because it was written thousands of years ago by a diverse group of authors who lived in a wide range of cultures spanning multiple epochs of human history, the Bible can be an intimidating book — but don’t worry; we’ve got you covered."

Well shucks Jeremy, that sure is good of you.

David Treybig advises us that "For many professing Christians today, religion is just a few-hours-a-week thing. Many are passive, even apathetic." Not the COGWA faithful of course!

Theological titan extraordinaire Jim Franks brings us up to speed with the doctrine of the Holy Spirit in just two pages and puts the Seventh-day Adventists in their place at the same time.

Does God Exist? You thought that was a deep question? C'mon, this is COGWA. Rick Avent avoids tough questions like, what do you mean by God and, in what sense do you mean "exist" as opposed to things like toast, freedom and dandelion tea? Nope, Rick goes straight for the real dope (as in dopey), "fulfilled prophecy", ta-da!. Well, as long as you're happy Rick, but it rather begs the question, don't you think?

10 Ways to Protect Your Children from Technology Traps. Sounds a mildly useful article. Becky Sweat does a reasonable job at laying out some commonsense advice, but don't expect anything you haven't thought of already.

Back to the naive nineteenth-century prophecy theme. What's a COG without a pretend expert to make silly prognostications about the near future. COGWA is lucky enough to have Neal Hogberg (Gene's son?) and he's following in the family tradition of palliative prophetic punditry. Neal has written something called "A New Battle for Britain." Yup, Neal is a know-it-all about Brexit.

"Bible prophecy shows an end-time economic and military colossus composed of 10 core nations (Revelation 17:12-15; 18:9-19) that will be of one mind (Revelation 17:13). Other prophecies show this will not include Britain."

Gene would no doubt be proud of him. Bible prophecy, of course, shows no such thing. Have any of these guys bothered to do even the most basic research on the characteristics of ancient apocalyptic literature? (Rhetorical question, we probably know the answer already.)

The popular hymn that begins "Just as I am" gets pushed into a dark alley and beaten up by Erik Jones.

It's downright amazing how these geniuses know so much about the future direction of world news. Brexit has been covered, but what about the European refugee crisis? No worries, Joel Meeker is on the case. Joel "recently drove by The Jungle outside Calais in France." Guess that makes Joel a drive-by expert. Of course, Joel has the one-page answer - how could we doubt it - and it's (surprise!) Bible prophecy.

"Bible prophecy foresees intensifying refugee problems in the years ahead, as the four horsemen of the Apocalypse ride ever harder. But there is hope. The displacement of harassed populations will finally end with the establishment of the Kingdom of God. Under God’s protection, all people will be safe and flourish in their own homes and nations."

It's an interesting solution, Joel. I guess that means that millions of Caucasians like you will be deported from North America and the land returned to the Native Americans, right? Just following the logic...

Honestly fellas, if this is "a sort of guide to the ultimate guide", I think you just got everybody, including yourselves, horribly lost.

Anyone got Google Maps?

The PDF is available to download.

(Next in this series: Tomorrow's World).

French connections

Gary Leonard on the Banned blog has breaking news of upheavals in the French-speaking LCG. Gary quotes an announcement from leader-in-waiting Gerry Weston.

Mr. Roland Lecocq, our minister in Switzerland, and his family have made the decision to move to another Church of God fellowship. We are saddened by their decision, but wish them well. They have served the Church faithfully for many years and we appreciate that service. Since he served as Secretary and Treasurer for the French association, he is continuing with those duties until they can be transferred to another individual in the next few weeks and he is being most helpful and faithful in the transition. Please show the upmost respect and love toward the Lecocqs as each of us must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.

These comments from Gary's source in LCG.

LCG suffered a major loss a few weeks ago when a popular European minister, Mr. Roland Lecocq, decided to resign from serving LCG and aligned himself with COGWA. Although Mr. Lecocq has been careful not to sway any of the LCG brethren to blindly follow in his decision to leave LCG, it is anticipated that a large majority of the brethren in the areas he served will go with him to COGWA. There are also concerns that LCG will not be able to continue with their planned Feast site in Carry-le-Rouet, France as a direct result of Lecocq's departure. 

This news hasn't been aired among LCG's membership outside the affected areas (or wasn't until Gary blew the cover off). One wonders whether the recent chat between COGWA and LCG leaders was a factor in some way (or an agenda item). Nothing yet from COGWA itself. The peripatetic Joel Meeker is listed as COGWA's man on the ground in Switzerland (along with Belgium and France).

Lecocq was ordained an elder in LCG in 2008.

Read the full account over at Banned by HWA.

A Call for COGWA accountability

To be honest, I'm not quite sure what to make of the initiative taken by Joe Sanchez, a member or former member of COGWA. He basically seems to be advocating openness and accountability in matters of church discipline. Unfortunately, on his new website one of the significant PDF links that might add some further clarity, a letter to COGWA's doctrinal committee, only brings up a 404 message. Hopefully that'll be fixed. In an email sent today Sanchez writes:

After years of seeing the same results time after time, I have come to the conclusion that the majority of the division, controversy and injustices in the church of God can be traced back to a total and complete lack of transparency by the ministry.  Although we may not agree in all areas of religion and theology hopefully we can all acknowledge that if the ministry was required to be transparent in matters of controversy, it would be a significant overhaul that would prevent a lot of the corruption we have all seen.  I have been a first hand witness to seeing genuine Christians kicked to the curb like a piece of trash as well as sexual predators given a haul pass.  These acts have only been possible because of a lack of transparency when these decisions are being made! 

A couple years ago I sent in a paper to the doctrinal committee of COGWA asking for scriptural evidence for their current system.  I was shock by how little biblical support the ministry has for justifying operating in secret.  All of this correspondence is available on my website at http://tothechurch.org/ 

Please take the time to review my site and please share! Any help exposing this system for what it is would be much appreciated! 

Any call for transparency in decision making is obviously a welcome one. Sanchez seems to be networking with a small number of others, including Jonathan Reimann, in this effort to bring about a change from within the organization. It may be a worthy goal, but I don't much like his chances - though you certainly have to admire his tenacity.

Discern for March - the "sort of" magazine

Every self-respecting church needs a promotional magazine (except Joe Tkach's GCI apparently), so it's no surprise that the UCG malcontents who formed COGWA (Church of God, a Worldwide Association) have put a good deal of thought into their own flagship publication, Discern.

But is it really a magazine when the only way you can read it is as a PDF? Granted, it's a frugal game plan. No postage costs, no left-over copies gathering dust. Whether people actually read PDFs in the same way they read hard copy is a moot point. There's a certain pleasure in sitting back in an armchair, turning real pages at your leisure that you simply don't get staring at a screen. All of COGWA's 'literature' seems to be available in this form, and only in this form. Time will tell whether it's an effective strategy for the long haul.

If this were a mainline church publication, you'd say it had an Easter theme, with a crown of thorns on the cover. Open it up (so to speak) and the graphics and layout are quite impressive. The first major feature you hit is a lengthy article by Clyde Kilough on Passover. That's followed by one in a similar vein by Jim Franks. Keeping on message is He is Risen! Now What? by Jeremy Lallier. Obviously, COGWA wants to proclaim its message "in due season".

Rick Avent moves to other matters with Does God Exist? He's up to Proof 3: The Origin of Life. I couldn't bear to invest time reading this, life is so short, and I have a copy of New Scientist that's higher on the priority list. Do you think Rick reads New Scientist?

Mike Bennett writes under the intriguing title, 5 Foolish Things we do to Foul Up our Future. Reading virtual COG magazines isn't on the list. Becky Sweat writes on The Loneliness Epidemic. Neal Hogberg beats the drum on ISIS with An Apocalyptic Crisis.

You get the impression that Discern requires a better standard of journalism of its in-house writers than, say, Tomorrow's World. Faint praise given the standard over at TW. That said, it's the same message you'll find in other COG periodicals. The articles in one are interchangeable with another.

The PDF is available to download.

(If you're interested in what's in the latest PCG mag, The Trumpet, you might like to check out Redfox's Living Armstrongism blog where he's got a detailed outline.)