Real or Knockoff? The Pack magazine.

David Crowl Pack's The Real Truth mag reminds me - more than any of the others on offer - of The Plain Truth which arrived in the family letterbox when I was a teenager. There's a certain nostalgia in the layout, the fonts, even the graphics that take me back to 1970 or thereabouts.

Which is no surprise really. Pack apes "the Work" as it once was. He's not smart enough to realize that time moves on, and the gold standard for the PT in the seventies rapidly evolved by the time Herb Armstrong passed on to his eternal reward. If you're in your thirties, forties or even fifties, the trick won't work nearly as well, but if you're just a tad older you might well do a double take. It's as if time has stood still - only the bylines have changed.

For a start there are those long 'personals' from the editor. In Two Keys to Success! we learn about Dave's Uncle Frank who embodied the first key; out-thinking those who get in your way. The second key is perseverance. Wow, never would have thought of that by myself.

The cover story is The Real Story of American Freedom in which Ryan L. Caswell asks "Why is America Different?" Guess what? It's all to do with British Israelism.

Edward L. Winkfield writes about "The Hidden Economy of Drug Trafficking", while someone without a name opines on "What does God Think of Political Debates?" It must be nice to have the inside track on what God thinks about things that never existed in Bible times. David J. Litavsky is the designated expert on the Yemini civil war, and Packatollah Dave returns with "What is the Unpardonable Sin?"

Full page ads promote a reprint article (remember those?) titled Are You Being Called? (unlikely if you're reading The Real Truth), a booklet called You Can Build a Happy Marriage (run, run like the wind, and don't look back! Dave is the guy who said in a sermon "you don't have a voice woman") and on the back page Dave's slavish rewrite of America and Britain in Prophecy.

It's like stepping into a time machine and arriving forty plus years in the past. Unlike Discern and the unlamented Vision, you can apparently get The Real Truth in print form, though with Dave juggling those nasty bills who knows how much longer that will continue. Alternately you can download the issue from here.

Check 'em out

There have been some great posts recently on a number of ex-COG blogs. Here's a round-up of a just a few of those that are worth an extra plug.

Banned (Gary Leonard)
Always perceptive, Gary has called out Bob Thiel on his newly implied status as a latter-day Amos. Bob, you'll remember, is given to occasional delusions of relevance. The story of his dubious ThD degree, his elevation to accidental prophet thanks to misrepresentation of some flowery words by Gaylyn Bonjour (who was only trying to anoint him for a "minor health issue"), and now his apparent elevation to Amos' mantle.

Silenced

The anonymous Silenced writer has a pithy piece on Dave Pack. His estimate of Dave's membership: "RCG is still only about 200 members in Wadsworth and at most 800 or so scattered across the country in their living rooms." That sounds about right. In an Akron Beacon Journal article back in 2012 (also found on the Silenced site) the church claimed "more than 370 congregations in more than 50 countries". That seems highly unlikely, to say the least.

Living Armstrongism
An interesting reflection on the power of nostalgia in keeping people in line, specifically referencing PCG, but obviously with wider application.

The good old days? Those were good old days?

Begorra!

Tis the day for the wearing of the green. Or it will be in a few hours, depending on where you are.

But not for the dead-eyed literalists in the more doctrinaire COGs, Dave Pack's Restored Church of God for example. The Real Truth website features an article warning readers about all that nasty paganism.

For starters, we're advised that "the concept of a dead “Patron Saint” is contrary to what the Bible teaches."

Leprechauns? "God tells those who follow Him that such beliefs are worthless: “For the customs of the people are vain…”"

Shamrocks? "Today, St. Patrick’s Day revelers wear a shamrock out of tradition,” National Geographic reported. Colossians 2:8 warns against following manmade traditions..."

Wearing green or having a glass of Guinness? Licentiousness! "I Timothy states, “Have nothing to do with godless and silly myths”..."

Talk about killjoys. Dudes, lighten up.

St. Patrick’s Day customs, regardless of how harmless they may seem, are not from God. Jesus bluntly said what it meant for those who follow such customs: “…laying aside the commandment of God, you hold the tradition of men…Full well you reject the commandment of God, that you may keep your own tradition” (Mark 7:8-9).

Recognize that, as with many other manmade holidays, St. Patrick’s Day is filled with pagan customs. The shamrock, green paraphernalia, and a plethora of fantasies about Patrick, including his fictional function as “Patron Saint” in heaven, are simply empty traditions. Such manmade holidays were adopted as early church leaders began “laying aside the commandments of God” to “hold the tradition of men.”

It's not hard to see where this is going. "God commands that seven Feasts be kept throughout the year."

The Puritans had nothing on these guys. 

Pack web collapse?

The following observations come from a correspondent and have been slightly edited:

Traffic growth on the Packinator's site is now in the red. If the 30% growth ostensibly represented God Almighty's seal of approval - does the negative growth indicate that approval has been withdrawn? Here we are in the 3rd quarter of 2008 and theRCG.org is still prominently featuring Internet growth through the end of 2007! Gone are ever increasing counters depicting current downloads (AKA hits). Gone are the estimates for 2008 downloads. Gone are are any monthly or quarterly updates bragging about actual numbers being higher than estimated for the year to date. No mention is made of hard numbers because downloads fell through the floor earlier this year and the slide has continued unabated until this day.

The graphics comes from Alexa: click for a larger version. Alexa currently ranks realtruth.org around 355,000 (Quantcast 656,000). The other Pack site, thercg.org, comes in at 214,000 (Quantcast 40,000). How does this compare with, for example, ucg.org ?

Alexa: 132,000
Quantcast: 17,000

(Alexa measures worldwide exposure, Quantcast has a myopic focus on the US market.)

By either measure Big Dave is in humble pie territory. How are the mighty fallen.

Bride of Packenstein

The news is out... David C. Pack, Grand High Poobah of the Restored Church of God, has remarried, less than a year after the death of his first wife, Shirley.

"J" from the Shadows blog observes: All I can say is, that was extremely quick, wasn't it?
Already observers are wondering whether the lucky lady will recapitulate the Ramona Martin epic. If you're old enough you may even remember the PT article octogenarian Herb wrote - salivation in print - celebrating the successful consummation of his marriage vows on the morning after. Ramona's views were unpublished.

The Worldwide News ran a photograph of the happy couple with officiating minister Garner Ted Armstrong - who relented at the last moment despite being opposed to the union. It was probably one of the last father and son shots before Stan pulled the rug out from under Ted.

Ramona of the painted toenails (makeup doctrine? what makeup doctrine?) proceeded, of course, to take Herb to the cleaners. Truly a mother in Israel!

Dave himself confirms the nuptials in an aside in his latest sermon (along with claiming no know more about prophecy than anyone else in history, and suggesting Weinland is demon-influenced!)

Meantime I know all AW readers will join me in sincerely wishing Big Dave all the wedded bliss that his hero Herb enjoyed with Mrs. Martin.

Update: The identity of the new First Lady is revealed in the comments section, and some interesting questions are asked.

Clarion Call for Poverty

"GO GET THOSE ASSETS AND GET THEM HERE."

A report appears on Bob Thiel's site, dated December 7, with excerpts from a November 3 sermon by Apostle David C. Pack of the Restored Church of God. Not surprisingly, this sermon does not seem to be available on the RCG website. These transcripts come from the COGwriter site. Bob notes: "The following are approximate quotes (I tried to type verbatim and the following is fairly close) ..."

"Yeah, I know, one or two can leave and say, 'Hey, you stopped preaching and started meddling, now you're messing with my goods here on earth' "
"First Timothy 6 verse 17...'Charge them that are rich in this world'...If you were born in the United States, Britain, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, then you're rich"
"If you hold those riches, I'm telling you, you trust in them"
"Go get a big chunk out of your home. And put your money where your mouth is and send it here. And I'm not talking about one, two, three thousand either. How about ten, twenty, thirty, fifty, or one hundred thousand dollars? Go do it."
"Wives, you can be independent in this. You have 1/2 the worth of whatever you have in your house.

I'm officially telling you this...Wives, legally you have the 1/2 the funds. What are you going to do about it?...Husbands...'well, my wife is not in the church'...tell her...'you don't have a voice woman' "

"Go get those assets and get them here"
"Don't sit on vast resources that we can use now"
"We are not a splinter"
"I do not covet your silver or gold...the gold and silver is God's and He will get it someway"
"We do not have the funds...plans...bookstores...We need to redesign our website...We need many hundreds of thousands of dollars to arrive at God's headquarters soon...the timing is now"
"This is different...ask Him for the faith to liquidate certain assets and give it to the work"
"I'll say it again, we are talking about liquidating existing assets...it all belongs to God and the brethren"
"We have a lot of plans so big going on in this office it would cause just this room to to rock and gyrate if you knew what was going on. We just need a lot of money and we need it post haste...I would give more if I had it"
"Herbert Armstrong wrote an article...'Prepare to greatly reduce your standard of living'...What he wrote by far, is more for us now than it was then... its all going to be taken away from us anyway brethren"
"There will be follow-up sermons. Time to bring in related points"
"Let us know how much you plan to send and when you plan to send it...You must be willing to communicate... If you do need to counsel, please do that...If you are not ready to distribute what you have...you don't believe the flow of prophecy"
"This is announcing the last blast, the clarion call as it were, to finish the work...Whether it is 4,5,7, 9 years to go, God knows...This is liquidating assets...I have the authority to tell you to do it... I have the moral and spiritual, and ecclesiastical authority to tell you to do what I have also done"
"Get it now when it requires faith... when you are dead you don't need it... if you named us in your wills, it can take us months or years to get it"
"The wives in the faith will say give everything you can...We don't have the luxury of waiting years...today, leaving everything in your will simply doesn't work"
"Now you just have a second mortgage... and frankly we flee before most of it ever becomes due"
"...some may think that they want to tap their 401k--maybe you want to let us know that... why would you want to tell us? We are starting to prepare a budget now, the needs are now...it would be nice to know now"
"Think big...Pull big triggers"
"There is only two positions you can take regarding all that I have mentioned, only two, there is no middle ground. You're either going to yield, to submit and to follow, the clarion call that the time is now or you're not. And postponing a decision is deciding not to do it...It's saying I'm going to wait until it gets closer because it is not there yet...Don't say that I'm going to wait until it gets closer, when I can see...The decision is that my treasure stays on earth or I goes to heaven. Period. I will not lay up for times to come or I will. And this is the real test of Laodicea... either hold on to your assets... or give it... God is in this decision, no question. Testing the church's faith"
"We live in the most materialistic age in the history of the world. People trust in physical things. They trust in bank accounts...If you have excess and don't need it, those verses mean you...That's the Laodicean attitude...Put your money where your mouth is...Empty your assets"
"There is only one place He works...Where the...work is...that's where God is working...one elder commented here at headquarters, if people can't be motivated by a clarion call to finish the work such as this, why will those same people somehow believe the internal signal given to the church of the 1335? Why would they believe it?"
"This is the Laodicean age...Be careful that you don't tell us how to spend your assets... It belongs to God.. You don't tell God or His servants how to spend it"
"Your faith is being tested. Think about that"
"We will all fast on November 17th...I have to...ask you for a very special financial sacrifice for God's work"
"The purposes of the fast...(a). To fast for God's intervention...(b).Fast for personal faith and courage to follow what I am asking you to do...(c). Fast for personal strength...(d)...Fast for faith and courage in others with more than you to give...Go get a big chunk out of your house...their assets, IRAs, and pension funds...(e). Ask God to move specific properties...that they have told us they want to sell. Pray that these properties move...that is part of what this fast is about"

Anyone even slightly tempted to give way to this bullying might wish to first pause and ask themselves whether Pack - who says he's set an example - will be selling up his home and moving into a trailer park.

Where's Gary Scott when we need him?

Rescuing Dave

Dear David C. Pack

Congratulations in being the early leader in the AW leadership poll.

As you may - or may not - know, we're asking which of six self anointed Church of God bosses will most rapidly disappear into the mists of obscurity over the next 50 years.

It seems, Apostle Pack, that you're top of the pops when it comes to "the forgettability factor." Despite your hugely significant role as God's Number One bloke, singled out by the Big Guy Himself, most AW readers think you're dog tucker.

Heck Dave, I voted for you myself!

Y'know Dave, I think you deserve a PR makeover among the godless skeptics that frequent sites like AW, and I'd like to offer my services. If you need a quality reference, I'll forward Bob Thiel's email address.

AW could really put together a truly unique marketing package to upscale your X-factor. Need I remind you that it was AW that launched the massively influential makeover for Roderick C. Meredith that forever associated him with the affectionately respectful pet-name "Spanky"? And you know where the reverent honorific "Packatollah" came from, right? Consider it a free sample.

Dave, my heart is bleeding to see you so embarrassingly under-rated. I may even be able to persuade Dennis and Doug to sub-contract on the project.

Give me a call, we'll do lunch (no ham and you're paying) and I'll run some rather large figures by you.

My charges are totally unreasonable.

Meantime, as a gesture of goodwill, I'm encouraging all AW readers (think of them as prospective RCG tithers) to launch an in-depth study of your God-given status by clicking over to Gary Scott's excellent XCG blog and listening to your authentic, spirit-inspired words via audio clip.

But don't sign up with Gary before talking with me. Whatever he charges - I'll double!

And that's a promise.

The last words of Shirley Pack

We are all, like it or not, creatures of the dust, mortal and locked in time. The passing of any one individual is a cause for reflection, and empathy for family and friends whose lives were intertwined with a unique presence now lost. As much as we may wish to ignore the uncomfortable reality, this too will be our fate. Life is like that.

So, while I don't wish to be insensitive, the passing of Shirley Pack, wife of self-anointed apostle David C. Pack, is hardly a surprise. She may well have been a fine human being, dutiful wife and loving mother. Perhaps, in her own way, she had moments of insight and clarity which redeemed her perception of the hateful fundamentalism espoused by her husband. I hope so.

But the desecration of anyone's life by postmortem apologetic rape is a vile thing. The manufacturing of "last words" is not uncommon, but is usually intended to bring compassion and comfort those confronting loss. But to do so in order to manipulate is simply despicable.

Is this the case with Shirley Pack? Read Gary Scott's commentary and you be the judge.

Milking the Canuck Cash Cow

Canadians are a generous lot, and it's very kind of them to subsidize struggling Third World ministries south of their border. Ministries like Packatollah Dave's Restored Church of God, headquartered in the malaria infested swamps of Wadsworth, Ohio. Kudos go to Stan for laying out the information in an excellent piece of journalism on the AR blog. If you're Canadian, read it and weep.

Blather from Pack

Everyone's favourite COG leader, Dave Pack, has gained a lot of free publicity in recent days. Notoriety, in fact.

Gary Scott was the first to point out that the Great One has unleashed a new ruling on his hapless flock. NO BLOGS.

Yes, members of the Restored sect are forbidden from creating either a blog or a personal website; and that applies to their teenagers as well!

Kevin D. Denee is the author of an article in the Pack-rag Ambassador Youth which lays out the Packatollah's edict.

Thus speaketh the Oracle: "The Internet—and more specifically blogs—has enabled everyone to have a voice on any matter. Now everyone’s thoughts are “published” for all to see. Whether or not it is effective, as soon as something is posted the person has a larger voice. It often makes the blogger feel good or makes him feel as if his opinion counts—when it is mostly mindless blather!"

"As if his opinion counts." Ah, there you have it, only One opinion counts, and that's you-know-who... (Women apparently don't count, any opinion they might have being beneath the notice of the all male packriarchy.)

Kev (who is apparently the son in law of the Master) continues: "Let me emphasize that no one—including adults—should have a blog or personal website (unless it is for legitimate business purposes). When this policy, now being instituted, was discussed with Mr. Pack and other Headquarters ministers, there was not a shadow of doubt in anyone’s mind that blogs are something youth should not be doing in any way."

No one.

Ach ja. Seig heil!

But while King David has been preoccupied with FOTting his flock, word of the RCG ban has spread through the blogosphere well beyond the usual COG/exCOG community. The Wadsworth Wonder is unexpectedly infamous. Gary has updated the situation in his latest post.

Surreal!

Hull Breach

The LCG has lost one of their "evangelists" and Bob Thiel has been "marked." More fun from the fringes.

Syd Hull is a "Meredith evangelist", one of the privileged few to be raised to the highest ministerial office on Earth (other than Rod's of course!), and Regional Director for South Africa's LCG.

Or at least he was. Syd has defected, or "seen the light", depending on your perspective. Now he's teamed up with Dave Pack and launched a broadside at poor old Bob Thiel.

What is interesting is that the LCG keeps losing high profile people, and that, judging from the ones we know about, they're drawn to even more dubious ministries rather than, for example, the more moderate United Church of God. Pack has done very well by picking up disenchanted Meredith elders (bearing in mind that he is, himself, a rat who also fled the leaky galleon.) But so has Gerry Flurry (remember Fred Dattolo?) It seems the Lord is delivering quite a spanking to his faithful servant Rod.

Mister Hull (will Dave let him keep his Evangelist rank?) has immediately delivered a slap in the face to his former co-religionist Bob Thiel. Bob gets called a lot of colorful things:

"...ridiculous statements and poor logic on an unofficial LCG website hosted by Robert Thiel... this site lists a host of invented reasons why one should not go with RCG. The shallow reader will be taken in, but those with common sense will see the utter falsehood of this man’s misinformed confusion. God’s Spirit always cuts through the faulty logic of the unconverted." (Emphasis supplied)

Misinformed? Confused? UNCONVERTED? Now now Syd, don't hold back.

"Robert Thiel misrepresents these facts to paint Mr. Pack as teaching contrary to Mr. Armstrong and the Bible, when even cursory investigation proves otherwise. Given such circumstances, only a calloused self-promoter would say it’s more important to concentrate on people in the world, for whom eternal life is not yet at stake, than on those who have the Holy Spirit and who don’t just face physical death in the tribulation, but eternal death in the lake of fire! Mr. Pack should be credited and the LCG leader faulted, not the other way around! I have been a shepherd for over three decades and I know. In any event, the Work of RCG now dwarfs that of The Living Church of God, and has reached this point in much less time."

Calloused self promoter? Bob? Um, how 'bout that deeply humble statement "I have been a shepherd for over three decades and I know."

But, praise be, ain't it great to hear the sizzling of the Lake of Fire in the background!

Syd may have been a shepherd for over three decades, but it's hard to find much in his tirade that's reminiscent of the Good Shepherd parable. And let's just think for a moment about "ridiculous statements and poor logic." Syd states: "the Work of RCG now dwarfs that of The Living Church of God".

Really?

By what criteria?

Which sect has the most members? Which sect has the greater media exposure? Which sect has the larger mailing list? Which sect garners the most tithe income?

LCG. But Syd, feel free to set the record straight if I've got that wrong.

Apparently Syd thinks "the Work" means something else. Number of "hits" on a website perhaps? Syd, Syd, Syd; you really should drop Gary Scott an email so he can explain the facts of life for you.

On his own website Bob comments: "I have apparently been marked by RCG and my repentance to support RCG essentially is now publicly being asked for."

There are days I think the old soap opera has "jumped the shark", and the latest episodes are a mere shadow of seasons past. And then someone like Syd comes along and I know I'm still hooked. "Hull breach on deck 12 Captain Meredith! We're losing containment!" "Erect a level 6 force field Mr Ames and arm the phasers."

Stay tuned.

Believe it - or not

Talk Radio 702 is Joberg's no. 1 news and information station. I know that because it says so on their "proudly South African" website. One of 702's shows, broadcast on Sunday nights, is called Believe it or Not, dealing with religious issues, and recently it featured an phone hook-up with "Pastor David Pack" in far off Ohio. Yes, that's Big Dave, folks. I would have missed this gem, but thankfully the ever-vigilant Gary Scott provided a link on XCG.

Kate Turkington, the 702 host, had it seems come across the RCG website. As she was planning a program on the Beast of Revelation theme, she decided to rope in "Pastor Dave."

The interview is worth a listen, if only to hear the credulous host say: "the church's flagship magazine, The Real Truth, and his audio program, The World to Come, have an audience of millions, apparently; reach every nation, including heads of state, other leaders in government, religion, education, industry and the media." Maybe she was just reading straight off the Pack website.

But, uh, heads of state? Leaders in religion? Who, Dave? It seems the big fellah regularly sips green tea with the Dalai Lama and drops by Downing Street to gnosh on Cherie's cucumber sandwiches. Or perhaps Aussie PM John Howard makes a habit of slipping out of caucus meetings to download Dave's sermons (come to think of it, that'd explain an awful lot!) I had no idea.

Anyway, the show proceeds, and then the interviewer interjects a Pulitzer Prize question:

Q. Are you nice people Pastor, or are you sort of Bible thumping terrorists - are you nice?

A. We're the nicest people you'd ever want to meet. We're the farthest thing from Bible thumping terrorists you can imagine...

So there you have it. I repent in dust and ashes, for until Dave pointed this out I had indeed regarded him as a Bible thumper and spiritual terrorist of the worst sort. Truth is, it seems, Dave is the embodiment of sweet Christian humility and grace.

As the program title says...

Believe it, or not.

The Packatollah

Back in the 1970s, when I was still a keen young WCG member studying at Teachers College, I came across a great kid's picture book called Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No-good, Very Bad Day. I've been meaning to improvise on the title and write an entry called Dave Pack and his Huge, Immense, Gargantuan, Very Big Work.

Thankfully, Gary Scott has spared me the bother with a telling commentary on XCG dealing with the Packatollah's obsession with size. It seems the Titan is really a wiener, flatulent ego notwithstanding.

There's been some debate about the value of exposing preachers like Pack in the media, and I'm sure there would be a long line of people eager to talk about their experience. Unfortunately, any publicity is good publicity and Pack should be starved of it. The only people who know about his obscure little organization are those with a prior commitment to Armstrongism, and even this little band largely ignores his inane boasting. Those who do take him seriously are an aging, dwindling bunch. Neither he nor his work will endure.

Pack is merely a legend in his own mind, as Gary clearly demonstrates.