Privilege and Entitlement in Denial - Tabor & Alexander

Poor Dr. James Tabor. He "almost drove off the road" when he heard the interview with Jerald Walker (see earlier story).

"what he said about Mr. Armstrong and the Church as a whole was completely incorrect and bogus--that only "Whites" would be in the Kingdom of God, that blacks were an inferior species, and on and on...I realize the WCG had its flaws but this is very unfortunate. Most of us in the academic field of Religious Studies object to the label of "cult" for any religion anyway--the problem is who is doing the labeling."

Completely incorrect and bogus? What's James been smoking? Technically you can indeed argue that "officially" WCG taught no such thing, but most of us know that the reality in the pulpit and pews was far, far different. The racist culture  in WCG was undeniable, even as far away as Auckland, New Zealand where Frederick "Jack" Croucher made comments from the pulpit that demeaned Black people and Maori, delivered with a laugh. It was the "Israelites" who would have pride of place in the super-fascist World Tomorrow. Doesn't James remember what his onetime mentor Rod Meredith preached and wrote?

As for the use of the word 'cult', I tend to agree with Tabor. It's a loaded term with multiple meanings and scholars tend to avoid such pejorative terms, leaving them to popular writers who have an ax to grind. But Walker isn't a religious academic, and in the context of his personal experience I'm not about to tell him not to use it.

Racing in to back up Tabor - from the good lord knows where - comes a voice from the distant past, Gary Alexander, a former Plain Truth writer and author of a dismal little booklet called The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Alexander has had a checkered career post WCG, covered in some depth back in Ambassador Report 27 (April 1984), subhead "Alexander does prison time". 

"In these days of high racial tension, fueled in large part by everyone taking pictures of everything and extrapolating each incident into an overarching trend, readers assume everything Jerrald [sic] Walker says must be true, but he was not in the belly of the beast, as we were.  He didn't understand our teachings.  He was, as the book excerpt cited above shows, a kid who peaked [sic] out the window on Halloween and wished that he were allowed to trick-and-treat, like any other kid."

And so Alexander, who like Tabor was part of the self-entitled elite "back in the day", demeans and devalues Walker's experience... he was just "a kid" who wanted to do trick and treat. That's a horrible and completely facile misrepresentation.

No, Jerald Walker clearly wasn't "in the belly of the beast." Excuse the French, but that's the whole bloody point. The vile influence on lay members - and especially kids - of church culture and teaching, especially given the off the cuff remarks and climate of contempt for imagined 'non-Israelites'. Walker is telling it as he remembers it, and as it impacted on his life and that of his family. His is an honest account of what it was like growing up in the Chicago church. Tabor and Alexander might want to hide behind official teaching, but what was official teaching in a time when the 'truth' was whatever was served up in the pulpit, in church magazines and booklets that were often re-edited, withdrawn and replaced?These were the days before the Systematic Theology Project (STP), and many of us remember what happened to that.

Alexander pleads for old timers to head off to Amazon and give a 'balanced' review of Walker's book. As I wrote a couple of days ago, I've heard a lot of folk deny that the Worldwide Church of God was inherently racist, let alone "white supremacist." But as I recollect, none of them grew up as African-Americans in the bonds of their parent's beliefs. Tabor isn't listening. Nor, obviously, is Alexander.

And that's a very different starting place from individuals who enjoyed a place of privilege and entitlement in the church. Dr. Tabor and Mr. Alexander might consider that carefully before continuing in knee-jerk mode.

WCG: A White Supremacist Doomsday Cult

I've heard a lot of folk deny that the Worldwide Church of God was inherently racist, let alone "white supremacist." As I recollect, none of them grew up as African-Americans in the bonds of their parent's beliefs.

Jerald Walker, however, did. His story is told here along with a short (9 minute) interview on WBUR which, in my opinion, is riveting listening. Walker is highly articulate, and this is no mere rant. He is now a professor at Emerson College and his book The World in Flames adds to the chickens coming home to roost.

When The World in Flames begins, in 1970, Jerry Walker is six years old. His consciousness revolves around being a member of a church whose beliefs he finds not only confusing but terrifying. Composed of a hodgepodge of requirements and restrictions (including a prohibition against doctors and hospitals), the underpinning tenet of Herbert W. Armstrong’s Worldwide Church of God was that its members were divinely chosen and all others would soon perish in rivers of flames.

The substantial membership was ruled by fear, intimidation, and threats. Anyone who dared leave the church would endure hardship for the remainder of this life and eternal suffering in the next. The next life, according to Armstrong, would arrive in 1975, three years after the start of the Great Tribulation. Jerry would be eleven years old.

Jerry’s parents were particularly vulnerable to the promise of relief from the world’s hardships. When they joined the church, in 1960, they were living in a two-room apartment in a dangerous Chicago housing project with the first four of their seven children, and, most significantly, they both were blind, having lost their sight to childhood accidents. They took comfort in the belief that they had been chosen for a special afterlife, even if it meant following a religion with a white supremacist ideology and dutifully sending tithes to Armstrong, whose church boasted more than 100,000 members and more than $80 million in annual revenues at its height.

When the prophecy of the 1972 Great Tribulation does not materialize, Jerry is considerably less disappointed than relieved. When the 1975 end-time prophecy also fails, he finally begins to question his faith and imagine the possibility of choosing a destiny of his own.

The World in Flames is published by Beacon Press and is available on Amazon.

Bobby Fischer and the WCG

Chess News has an interesting feature by Camile Coudari (originally published in 2012, but new to me) on former Grandmaster and WCG co-worker Bobby Fischer. An excerpt.

I do not think it is a coincidence that Fischer did not feel drawn to conventional religious denominations, and that he was instead attracted from a very early age to the World Wide [sic] Church of God, an Evangelical [sic] sect that was quite well known after the war thanks to its radio broadcasts and its ubiquitous magazine, "The Plain Truth".

Even fundamentalist Evangelical churches viewed the [Worldwide] Church as a fringe cult during its half century of existence, which is not surprising if one looks at just one of its basic tenets: Anglo-Israelism, or the notion that the real descendants of the Biblical Hebrews are the people who came to inhabit the English Isles and neighboring countries.

The holders of Biblical inerrancy, who believe that the Bible is the Word of God and that everything in it is literally true (although doors are often left conveniently open for interpretation) have always had a hard time reconciling Christianity's negative and often heinous attitude toward the Jews with the fact that God chose to reveal his Book to them.

Anglo-Israelism cuts this Gordian knot bluntly by claiming that only a small number of modern Jews are descendants of Biblical Hebrews, and that even those belong only to the “bad” tribes (Judah and Benjamin). All other Jews of modern times are claimed to be impostors and to have no direct link with the Jews of Biblical times. The only supposedly genuine Hebrews left are the scions of the Lost Tribes of Israel, who (Armstrong revealed to a supposedly benighted America) migrated ages ago to the British Isles and northwestern Europe.

Armstrong was not the first who devised this solution to the "I love the Bible but not the Jews" conundrum. The Lost Tribes of Israel have been an object of speculation for centuries, and have been located in the most surprising places, from Southeast Asia to Hawaii to British Columbia.

Besides "solving" the Jewish problem, Anglo-Israelism opens the door to an alluring proposition: it marks out all Americans of English and northwest European origin as "real Jews". From a religious point of view, it creates a direct relationship between them and Israel and gives them a claim on the Biblical Land. There is more than meets the eye in the current support for the state of Israel shown by many fundamentalist Christians, something that may seem surprising at first when one considers that many of them come from parts of the United States where not long ago the fiercely anti-Semitic KKK flourished.

This theory is a perfect example of circular thinking. It holds no water as a key to understanding history or the world, but it does give at least a partial understanding of how Fischer, a Jew himself, could justify his anti-Semitism in his own eyes: the world Jewry he loathed and denounced was not a body of authentic Jews, but was a bunch of traitors or impostors. He told me so himself; and went on about it at such length that before I knew it, night had turned into morning.

 Art Mokarow gets a special mention.

It was rumored in the chess world in the early '80s that after the fallout between Herbert Armstrong and his son Garner Ted Armstrong, Fischer had followed the latter in the splinter sect he went on to establish. My meetings with the Mokarows and Fischer did not give me enough evidence to say for sure which side Fischer actually chose. I asked Mokarow point-blank once, but he demurred.

Mokarow himself, who can now be found giving his latest take on the Bible on YouTube of all places, claims he stopped working for the Worldwide Church of God in the late '70s and went on to become a very successful businessman. I do not know if he ever made a clean break with that organization, and the whole picture remains blurred as there were rumors at some point in the '80s of a reconciliation between Fischer and Armstrong Sr. (Fischer had donated a lot of money to Armstrong and was very upset when his doomsday prophecies failed to materialize in 1972).

Still, I was left with the strong feeling that, far from being merely Fischer’s representatives, Arthur and Claudia Mokarow exerted a great influence on his decisions. I would go so far as to say that the 180-degree change in Fischer's position on the documentary or towards the invitation as a guest of honor at Gilles' shooting location was the work of people who were loath to let Fischer out of their grip for any length of time. Brady describes the couple as a "kind of buffer for Bobby" and says that they were in a position of "considering offers (and rejecting them) without even discussing them with Bobby".

For what it's worth, I've never heard of any move by Fischer to move across into Ted's CGI, rumours in the chess world not withstanding, though it's possible - perhaps probable - that he was on the mailing list in the earliest days of the split. As for any Rasputin-like influence by Art "God's Puzzle Solved" Mokarow, I'm sure there'll be some folk here who can offer more informed comment than I can.

Thirty Years On

It's been thirty years since Herbert Armstrong departed the land of the living - now ticking on for 31. After three decades we're beginning to see a major die-back among those groups that loudly claimed his mantle.

The Church of God, an International Community is one of them. Splintering from UCG and led by former World Tomorrow presenter (and later founding UCG president) David Hulme, it struggled on for years, never reaching a critical mass. COG-AIC haemorrhaged prominent ministers. Rumour has it that Hulme thought he could get away with dumping the deeply flawed British-Israel doctrine, but Peter Nathan et al had other ideas. It no longer publishes its journal, Vision. In fact, the energy levels were so low that subscribers weren't even informed of its demise. COG-AIC has been downsized, scaled back to the point of irrelevance.

There are also reports that the Philadelphia Church of God has been hit in the pocketbook to the tune of a 25% reduction in income. PCG continues to throw money at its British Bricket Wood clone, Edstone Hall, and Gary is reporting that founder Gerry Flurry is set to purchase a personal jet to wing him - and members of his inner circle - across the Atlantic and beyond, just like his long-dead idol. Apparently flying commercial (and we're clearly talking first class here) is just too much for the great man to endure. How can he afford it? Perhaps it's all those bequests that have accumulated over the years, the gift that keeps on giving. Reason enough to check that your current will is up to date and that the parasites don't get a red shekel.

The United Church of God, an International Association is treading water at best. It's not that they're not trying to recruit new blood, it's just that they're not very good at it. UCG is still operating with a 1980s mentality, despite having paid out big bucks to bring its websites and media facades up to scratch. The message, however, is firmly targeted at old white males of the grumpier variety. Alas, lads, not only are the times a-changin' but so is the demographic.

The Living Church of God is facing a challenging time. Meredith won't be around forever, his successor is probably not up to the job, and there's widespread disillusionment in the ranks. Meredith predictably blames it on Satan. Anyone with a functioning brain can apportion responsibility closer to home than that.

And out beyond the barriers and borders that each of these "major" bodies has erected? "Here be dragons." With a couple of honourable exceptions, there you'll find Thiel, Weinland, Dankenbring and their ilk. Hardly a pretty picture.

The Churches of God will battle on in an increasingly diminished capacity for some time to come, but they have about as much chance of making a comeback as Christian Science or the Christadelphians.

Going for the package deal

Back when WCG congregations often had over 500 members and were growing fast, most had at least one Spokesman Club to hone the men's communication skills.  In our area, our club met on the second and fourth Monday's of the month.  In one meeting in late 1985, the topics session got off to a slow start.  However, the astute Topics Master knew how to remedy the situation and deftly lobbed a softball question to the club... "Can anyone tell us how were you called into the church?"  The hands began to shoot up in the air - everybody in WCG had a story to tell about their calling.  The floodgates had been opened.  A barber told his story about  the wind blowing a magazine onto his leg as he walked to his mailbox one afternoon. He shook his leg again and again and yet the magazine remained - it just wouldn't break free.  He reached down and grabbed the magazine and what do you know - it was the Plain Truth!

My father had a story, too.  His parents had not attended church and neither did he.  He was not at all interested.  However, while driving to work one morning, he turned on the radio and - Boom! - Mr. Armstrong's voice bellowed from the speakers and it grabbed his attention.  He became hooked.  Shortly thereafter he was reading the Plain Truth, WCG booklets, and the Bible.  His mind had been opened and he began to understand the Bible even better than those who had been trained to become priests.

My mother followed his lead and their excitement soon rubbed off on us kids.  During high school, the excitement had waned a bit as it had for many church kids.  Early in my fourth year of college, a friend began to talk about how it was time for us to get off of the fence, one way or the other.  This made sense.  How could we keep going if it was merely to please our parents?  Shortly thereafter, I experienced my own calling.   On a Saturday morning, while searching for something interesting on the radio... BOOM!  I heard a voice crying out of the wilderness and I was hooked.  It was a familiar voice yet new at the same time.  It was actually a young HWA (perhaps a re-run of a 1950's program) and this dynamic man had grabbed my attention.  All the sudden 'the truth' became exciting once again.  It was time to set the school books aside and work through the correspondence course and, what do you know, it all made sense!  All those things taught to me as a child were actually true and I could prove it from the Bible.

During the same time period, about 30 miles across town, my uncle had been called.  His mind was also opened, he learned 'the truth' and he had proved it from the Bible.   And just five or six houses down the street, my friend was called.  His mind had been opened and he now understood 'the truth'.  Now the three of us all had something very important in common with each other - we had been called by God and could now understand the 'truth', unlike the vast majority of humanity.  It is amazing how it worked and what are the odds?

Of course, our experience would not make sense to most people external to the 'true church' but, for those in it, it made perfect sense.  We knew what we knew because  we had been called by God, given special understanding, and we because we had proved everything that we believed straight from the Bible!

Oops.  The was a small problem.  Even though my uncle, my friend ,and I had very similar experience that led to a complete change in our lives, we also ended up with a few significant differences.  I had been baptized into WCG.  My uncle became a Jehovah Witness, and my friend became a Mormon.

How could this be?  Well, obviously my uncle and my friend were deceived.  Although they were sincere in what they believed, they were sincerely wrong. I knew that to be a fact with absolute certainty.  At the same time, they felt exactly the same way that I did.  They knew that they were right and they knew that I was wrong.  We even had a bit of arrogance in common!  The sad thing is that although we could each recognize the error in the beliefs of the others, none of us could see our own error.  And there is the real problem.  We all had become blind regarding some truths that were obvious to others.  As a  result, we had each become slaves to organizations that had elevated themselves above God, merely because they were effective in tying up their core beliefs into attractively wrapped packages.  They had all the answers to life's most important questions and we liked what they taught.  We were special and we were going to fill some mighty important positions in the kingdom.

Looking back, it would have been nice had the internet been invented 25 years earlier.  Maybe we would have realized more quickly that not everything was quite what it had appeared to us initially.  We might have determined early on that they were not actually joining the 'one true' church being directly led by God as the organizations had claimed.  We might have realized that the neat little packages they had given us actually contained errors and half-truths, and had to be re-wrapped now and then to cover up erroneous prophetic predictions from the past and teachings that were conveniently reversed along the way.

My question to anyone still believing UCG, COGWA, LCG,  RCG, or any of the other splinters from WCG to be the only churches with 'the truth', please explain to me how you can know that for sure.  If we are dependent upon revealed understanding to make sense of the Bible and 99.9% of the world is deceived, how can we be sure that WCG's 'package of beliefs' had been the pure truth rather than merely a mix of error and truth?  Because we liked it?  Because it was wrapped up so well?  Because it made sense to us?

Nearly every member of every cult had a nearly identical experience as to ours when we had joined WCG.  They felt it, believed it, and proved it.  Just like we did.  Once we liked what we heard, we wanted to prove it.  Once we believed that we had proved it, we did not want to let go of it.  And then we surrounded ourselves with others that reinforced the fact that we had all proved it and that the worst thing in the world was to let go of that belief.  No wonder we were so sure.

But what had we actually proven?  Maybe just that we were human. We proved that we could be fooled just like the thousands of intelligent people that had been more recently fooled by Bernie Madoff.  He was self-confident.  He was convincing.  He was connected.  He gained people's confidence.  Yet he was a con man.

-Kevin

On the Dole

I'm not sure what to make of this recently posted comment.

Thanks to Senator Bob Dole ordering the preservation of GTA's tapes into the national archives of the United States TV division of the Library of Congress - (HWA's broadcast tapes of the World Tomorrow from 1978 to '86, were never ordered preserved by Dole, but were included miraculously by God, as a clerical "error" by a library staffer) - THE WORLD TOMORROW will once again ring out around the world over TV, radio and Internet social media websites, hosted posthumously and jointly be the tandem father and son duo of Herbert W. Armstrong and Garner Ted Armstrong. We needed to have a PROGRAM TO DO AN ENDTIME WORK OF WITNESS AND WARNING, and GOD our father along with His son, Jesus Christ put it into the mind of a POWERFUL UNITED STATES SENATOR TO PRESERVE THE ORIGINAL MASTER BROADCAST TAPES OF THE WORLD TOMORROW!!

Somehow I think the anonymous sender (why are they always anonymous?) might be the same guy who sent these comments earlier to the One Accord thread.

...you [refering to a previous comment] have no independent verification of the rumor the Timmons used blackmail leverage on Joe Jr to obtain the World Tomorrow rights, because you are the one who started to [sic] false gossip rumor right here at this blog in your precious post. The fact, the truth is Shirley Timmons was a caregiver, a private nurse aid, to Shirley Tkach, SR's wife when she was ailing. Shirley Timmons called Joe Jr to inquire about the broadcast name and rights shortly after they split from ICG following GTA's death. Joe Jr fondly remembered Shirley and Earl from his childhood and their personal friendship with his parents and the great loving care Mrs. Timmons provided to his mom. So, Joe Jr. instructed Ralph Helge assist the Timmons with the acquisition copyright and trademark right for TWT for FREE. Previously it had been up for sale like most of the assets, asking price $300 THOUSAND. The only offer came from David Hulme, who offered Joe Jr $100 THOUSAND for the rights after Hulme left UCG. Junior turned down the Hulme $100K offer. God miraculously blessed the Timmons with the rights, for FREE! 

Ah, kindly Joe and nice Mr. Helge. Hmm. No, gotta say that version doesn't jibe, though the incidental details (Hulme's bid, for example) are interesting.

Has anything changed?

It's in the news again.

He played special music on many a Sabbath. It was memorable in that he was a bit of a showman when it came to the piano. The performances at WCG services in Auckland always had a touch of the dramatic. And he was undeniably talented. In a congregation of 300 or more souls, this guy stood out. At the time I admired his style, little knowing the darkness beyond the facade.

Or was it a facade? How does someone live by two utterly discordant sets of values, one focused on the trappings of biblical Christianity, the other on the gratification of one's own desires at the expense of vulnerable children? Was the church profile just a cover, or was this man both deeply committed and hugely conflicted at the same time?

What isn't in doubt is the horrific damage he caused.

It could have happened in any church. Sadly, it often does. But that it happened in the church we - many of us - naively regarded as God's True Church, has a special poignancy.

Today churches have stringent procedures in place dealing with abuse. At least, mainline churches do. Perhaps someone can enlighten us as to whether the same is true in any of the bodies that have descended from WCG. This man was involved in at least one of these splinters (Fred Coulter's CBCG) - actually representing it in New Zealand until his past caught up with him.

Are they safe places for kids now? Have they ensured that the welfare of the young people is paramount?

(The earlier story on Otagosh, is available here.)

Forgotten History: 1976 - Fools' Quest

1976, and the Worldwide Church of God was anticipating a great leap forward with the launch of the glossy magazine Quest/77 under the auspices of the AICF (Ambassador International Cultural Foundation). It was an expensive PR effort designed to gain credibility among the shakers and movers, the kind of people who wouldn't give The Plain Truth a second glance. The acquisition of Everest House Publishers followed, with offices in New York; a further vanity project that quickly proved prohibitively expensive.

The following article and accompanying photograph appeared in New York magazine, August 2, 1976.

Forty years on (has it really been 40 years?) and nothing remains. Quest magazine was short-lived, Everest House is long forgotten, Ted was to be ousted the year following Quest's launch, and even the Hall of Ad has now gone... in a cloud of demolition dust earlier this year.

Which leads one to wonder about the durability of the various vanity projects among the competing sects of COGdom today.

Fragmentation reissued in paperback

Good news, you no longer need to remortgage the house in order to acquire a copy of David Barrett's study Fragmentation of a Sect: Schism in the Worldwide Church of God. Oxford University press is releasing a paperback edition (with a few very minor revisions) later this year.

This is an academic work focused on the sociology rather than the usual agenda-driven stuff that tends to be published elsewhere. If you prefer debunking and steamy apologetics larded with Bible texts, this probably isn't the book for you. In my view, however, the story of the dissolution of the WCG is better told without the invective. It's a story that speaks for itself, and David Barrett is one of the keenest observers of the COG phenomenon. If it helps, I'm told Joe Tkach hated it - which in my view is the ultimate recommendation.

You're going to have to wait till August to get your hands on a copy, but preorders are being taken with a price tag of $29.95 US/£19.99 UK. If that sounds expensive, be ye aware that the nice people at OUP in NZ have the locally sourced hardback edition listed at just under eighty smackers, so quit with the complaining. Amazon currently has the HB at $61.

An ebook edition you ask? Sadly not the Oxford way.

More on this closer to August.

Herb Armstrong's Sickening Racist Fantasies

Thanks to Pam for pointing out the audio file of a sermon Herb Armstrong gave - probably in the last year of his life - on interracial marriage. It is, simply, horrendous, salted with threats of the Lake of Fire. Includes appreciative clapping from the mindless sycophants in the congregation. It fairly drips with racist rhetoric. God destroyed Noah's world because only he and his family were racially pure and, therefore, worthy of saving ("Noah was perfect in his generations"). He was the only man left who was "pure white". Segregation is good ("God's way is geographical [yells] segregation! And integration is not the way of the Eternal God!"). The Canaanites were black.

As usual for Herb's sermons, he rambles all over the place (Adam, two trees, give/get...) before getting to the point, but the point - when the old goat finally gets to it - is painfully clear.

The audio (a little scratchy) is available here. It lasts just under 69 minutes.

Just so you can keep your disgust fresh.

Yesterday's Wonderful World Tomorrow... tickets expired

The lion shall lie down with the lamb, and Herbert will be God's right-hand man.

The Wonderful World Tomorrow: What It Will Be Like went through several editions. My 'favourite' is the original 96-page version which rolled off the presses way back in 1966. It begins...

Where will YOU be, ten years from now? You can know what is going to happen. In this booklet you are going to take an astonished glimpse into this world as it will be - in just ten or fifteen short years.

Astonished indeed, as a little mathematics demonstrates. 1966 plus ten brings us to 1976. Add on that 5-year safety margin and you're at 1981. Bear in mind that you'll need to subtract three and a half years for the Great Tribulation. Clearly time was of the essence.

It's GOING TO SOUND INCREDIBLE to you - yet it is SURE! This advance news of Tomorrow is accurate! It is as CERTAIN as the rising of tomorrow's sun! 

Incredible is understating it. That was fifty years ago.

The other interesting thing about the 1966 version is that it bears two names as joint authors, both Herbert W. Armstrong and his then anointed heir Garner Ted Armstrong.

Subsequent editions, beginning in 1973, airbrushed out the date-setting. Date setting? Who, us? And Ted quickly disappeared from the credits never to reappear.  In 1979 Everest House released a hardback version, and by 1982 it was back in booklet form, revised with a new cover.

(In 1999 Scott Lupo, a former member, wrote a paper entitled The Wonderful World Tomorrow: Herbert W. Armstrong's Vision of Life After the Apocalypse. It was subsequently published in the Journal of Millennial Studies, and is still available.)

But, of course, imitations were bound to follow. To mention just one, The World Ahead: What Will It Be Like? by the ever-original Roderick C. Meredith in 2008.

I'd venture to say that in 1970 Roger Whittaker had a better handle on the 'world tomorrow' than Herb, Ted and Rod put together.

Everybody talks about a new world in the morning
New world in the morning so they say
Now, I, myself don't talk about a new world in the morning
New world in the morning, that's today
And I can feel a new tomorrow comin' on
And I don't know why I have to make a song
Now everybody talks about a new world in the morning
New world in the morning takes so long
I met a man who had a dream he'd had since he was twenty
I met that man when he was eighty-one He said too many
folks just stand and wait until the mornin',
Don't they know tomorrow never comes
And he would feel a new tomorrow coming on
And when he'd smile his eyes would twinkle up in thought
Now, everybody talks about a new world in the morning
New world in the morning takes so long
And I can feel a new tomorrow coming on
And I don't know why I have to make a song
Now, everybody talks about a new world in the morning
New world in the morning takes so long.

More perceptive by far, you could whistle or hum along, and he didn't need 96 pages to say it.

Herbert Armstrong - music, makeup and crass racism

(This article by M.A.M. appeared some years ago on one of my earlier websites.)


In the June-July 1981 issue of The Good News, there is an article titled “After 50 Years – Christ’s Apostle Still Ahead of His Time!” Like just about everything else published by the Worldwide Church of God about Herbert W. Armstrong, this is a lie. Herbert W. Armstrong was a man whose feet were firmly planted in the past. Within his church, Armstrong tried to re-create the world of his youth.

We can see the theme arise again and again in his writings. In Mystery of the Ages, Armstrong wrote:

“I have lived through the horse and buggy age, the automobile and industrial age, the air age, the nuclear age and now into the space age. I have seen America live through the agrarian age when farmers walked behind their horse-drawn ploughs singing happily, and into the urban age when Midwest American farmers are groaning and fighting for more government subsidies to prevent the extinction of farm life. (page vii).”

For farmers at least, the past was better than the present.

Armstrong’s love for the past surfaced again shortly after the murder of John Lennon.

“In disgust, I left TV, but at 10 p.m., I tuned in for the LOCAL news. It was all eulogizing the ‘rock’ ‘musician.’ A local Tucson crowd of 2,000 had flocked to Reid Park bandshell to leave roses, and mourn for their dead idol. The local station had a lot about the ‘man and his “music.”’ (I had never thought of it as music, but a loud raucous SQUAWK and SCREAM with a fast beat - just an irritating noise.)

“Pardon me, please! Perhaps I never had any musical education, although I have played the piano since 8 years old. I must have been terribly misled, for I supposed that the singing of a Caruso or a Galli-Curci of my father's time or a Pavarotti or Beverly Sills or an Arthur Rubinstein of our day produced music. I guess I'm terribly out-of-date. I have heard roosters make a loud raucous squawk when being captured for a Sunday dinner when I was a boy, but I just never had been ‘educated’ to call that ‘music.’

“When as a boy I worked one summer in a flour mill, to the constant ‘beat’ of the machinery till it nearly drove me crazy, I somehow never realized that was ‘music.’

“Please bear with me in my ignorance.”

I'll try, but it isn't easy. At least here he was being truthful. Armstrong was ignorant of popular music. A strong beat has been a characteristic of popular music since the rise of jazz, right after the first world war. Apparently, Armstrong was unaware of anything that occurred outside of the opera house since Caruso's time.

“I do remember, when I was in England at the college just before the mid-'60's, the Beatles were breaking into public notice. The had a new ‘way-out’ style, with an idiotic mop-topped hairstyle, with hair covering the forehead to the eyebrows, the ears and longer hair in the back of the head. The forehead is the seat of intellect - the mark of intelligence instead of animal nonintelligence. They started the style of male hairdo to turn evolution into reverse - man was becoming a dumb brute animal.”

From the original AW: Tkach's death grip on the church

Moves are afoot to make 2010 the year Joe Tkach can't ignore the call to accountability, with the initiative coming from the Purple Hymnal blog site. AW supports that unreservedly. Here - in condensed form - is an editorial from way-back-when (2004 actually), and a series of graphics, that appeared on the precursor to this blog. Nope, the call for Joe to finally get a conscience and surrender his sinecure is hardly new, but the old boy apparently has a hide as thick as a rhinoceros: the man apparently has no shame. This year, maybe, the hammering on the door will be loud enough, and insistent enough, to force some movement at last. If that amounts to GCI belatedly signing up to the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability, it would be a good start.

Americans elect their president every four years, and wisely limit any one incumbent to two terms. The same cautious approach is evident in the constitution of many churches. A church, like a nation, should not become the personal fiefdom of any individual, no matter how sincere or gifted they might be. Yet Pastor General Joe Tkach was appointed, not elected. Moreover he's already served a lengthy term as spiritual leader of the Worldwide Church of God, and apparently has "life tenure". Doesn't that sound more like a fringe cult than an evangelical denomination?

Almost all churches, including related movements like the Church of God (Seventh Day) and the United Church of God, have systems in place that hold their leaders accountable to the membership. Church presidents serve a limited term. Not so the WCG. Joe Jr. (he prefers to be addressed as Doctor Tkach) holds the very same title and office that Herbert W. Armstrong held. And while Joe is happy to trash any number of church traditions and doctrines from the past, he shows no enthusiasm for seeking endorsement for his position as the church's top dog. No General Conference exists to provide a counterbalance to the Pastor General's authority. The power of the ministry has been shown to be severely limited: stand up to Joe and Co. and you're likely to become a "pastor without portfolio".
The traditional argument that the Pastor General is accountable solely to Christ won't wash. The theology on which that particular bit of self-deception was based has long since been swept away in the flood waters of change. Has Joe heard about "the priesthood of all believers"? His friends in the wider evangelical community certainly have. In practice, "accountable to Christ" means not accountable at all.

But it gets worse. Legally it appears that the Worldwide Church of God is still "privately owned", and Pastor General Tkach is "sole proprietor". Caught off guard in a radio interview, he was asked what would stop him from just taking the money and leaving. The only reply he could come up with was that hisfamily would stop him.
While Tkach might deny that he "owns" the church, with the current legal structure of the organization the reality seems to be that he can hire and fire all board members at his personal discretion with absolutely no reason given. That's in writing. He can do whatever he wants with the corporation as long as it complies with government rules for a non-profit organization.

Here's what Michael Feazell said back in 1996, speaking to a conference of regional pastors.

"The church needs to be a priesthood of believers... It needs to be doing ministry. Everybody in the church has a stake in that--whether it's women, men, teens or children."

Stakeholders must have a voice. They are not powerless, passive observers.
The simple truth may well be that Joe doesn't trust the church he presumably serves. He won't risk relaxing the reins lest people come up with ideas he doesn't endorse. Perhaps Joe considers himself indispensable. Perhaps he's a control freak. Could it be that he is unwilling to lose his comfortable sinecure?

Pastor General Joe has been chief shepherd of his dwindling flock for far longer than is decent without, at the very least, endorsement from the membership. How long will he remain on his pontifical throne? (even the pope is elected by a college of cardinals). Will he be Pastor General for life - a religious version of Fidel Castro?

Michael Feazell writes in the July 2001Worldwide News: "If your church is a spiritual detriment to you, then you should consider finding another one... When the leader of a church indicates that he is God’s unique messenger or special representative in comparison with other Christian ministers... then you have another example of a church that is spiritually detrimental to its members."
Wise words. But what about churches where the leaders have safely elevated themselves beyond the influence of the members? A church, for example, that permits only token involvement of it's members in governance at either local or denominational level? How can Feazell justify the office of Pastor General and the hierarchical structure of the church in light of his own statement?

Tkach is on record as saying: "This fellowship has always been Episcopal, which is hierarchical..." Perhaps so. But this fellowship had always been Sabbatarian too, but that wasn't allowed to stand in the way of change. Even if an "Episcopal" model is to be used, there would need to be a long hard look at the parliamentary procedures actually used by the groups like the Episcopal Church; procedures which do indeed involve representative bodies of lay members at all levels. The Worldwide Church of God is out on a limb when it claims "episcopacy" as some kind of precedent for leadership by a clique or self appointed oligarchy. It is no such thing.

Joe has been single-minded in his efforts to inveigle his way into the evangelical mainstream. But despite cuddling up to evangelical leaders, his leadership style arguably has more in common with Louis Farrakhan than Billy Graham.

They used to say in Pasadena that the only thing that would topple Herbert Armstrong from his throne would be the Second Coming.

Apparently some things don't change.

From the original AW: "Hic"bert W Armstrong

A short item from oAW... includes some interesting quotes about Herb and his booze addiction.

The Worldwide Church of God during the Armstrong years had an extremely permissive attitude toward alcohol quite out of place among other Adventist sects. There was no precedent for this in the Church of God (Seventh Day), the group from which Herbert Armstrong split in the 1930's. Yet conspicuous consumption of alcohol was a definite feature of the WCG's Feast of Tabernacles celebration. Those who preferred not to imbibe were regarded as "weak in faith". The sad reality was, however, that many of the WCG's leading ministers had alcohol problems. Herbert W. Armstrong was no exception.
Holly Ruiz, wife of Enrique Ruiz, the church's office manager in Mexico, made this statement about HWA when asked by Mary Jones of Ambassador Report whether she'd ever seen him drunk:

I've never seen Herbert Armstrong sober after 8:00 at night. I used to notice this when I stayed in his home during conferences and on trips. He would fall asleep in his chair, and (Stanley) Rader would have to take him to bed. His daughter (Beverly) once told me never to call Herbert after 8:00 because he was always in a stupor by then.

John Tuit, writing in 1981, quoted Herbert Armstrong's grandson Mark:

"His liver is pretty bad, you know. He's got whatever it is you get from drinking too much wine and cognac. Boy, that's a real problem with him. He tells the Church people to drink in moderation, and for years he's been getting himself smashed just about every night... I've even helped carry him to his bed when he was just plain wiped out from too much booze."

Al Carrozzo, a minister who left in 1974, quoted Garner Ted Armstrong: "They have to pour my dad into bed every night." He stated: "I have seen him drunk on many occasions" (William Hinson. Broadway to Armageddon, p. 96). David Robinson, writing in 1980, told of Armstrong's slurred speech over a bottle of fortified wine (Herbert Armstrong's Tangled Web, p. 76). Armstrong himself admitted to excessive drinking as a young man, but "not at all even the fraction of the volume of an alcoholic" (Autobiography, p. 240, 1967 edition).
In Tangled Web, Robinson relates how HWA pressured him to name "liberal ministers" so he could fire them. By this stage of the conversation the "Apostle" had begun to slur his speech slightly because of the Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry. "To name names in this context over a bottle of wine", wrote Robinson with a droll sense of humor, "seemed at the time to be injudicious" (pp. 75-76). He remained tight lipped.
Robinson commented on HWA later in his book: "Solace and sleep, such as it was, had to be induced by drinking much wine."

Holy Trinities Batman!

I have a copy of Is God a Trinity? on file, published by the WCG way back when. In those distant times there was little doubt about the answer: no!

But times have changed, and what appears to be the first booklet published under the GCI brand is titled A Brief Introduction to Trinitarian Theology.

This time round they're not even bothering to ask the question.

The kind of trinitarianism GCI promotes isn't the standard version you'd find in Catholic, Lutheran and Orthodox communions, but a variety pickled with the MSG of junk theology, marketed under the labels "Barth" and "Reformed," and produced in porridge vats with the patented perichoresis ingredient by Baxter Kruger, the terrible Torrances, and their ilk. Perichoresis, you ask? How to put this delicately... God (to quote Wikipedia) enjoys "mutual interpenetration."

This particular concoction has universalist dimensions, so much so that the booklet even asks the rhetorical question Isn't this universalism? and consciously distances itself from bog Calvinism. Well, that's commendable I guess, but the fact remains that it stills build on a Calvinist foundation (as does Arminianism - which can only make sense as a reaction to Calvinism.) You buy a cheap Ford, strip it down and soup the coupe... is it still a Ford?

Well, it sure ain't a BMW.

Who's the author? There's no attribution in the online edition; GCI seems to be using the same anonymity policy as the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society. Part 1 sets out the case, and part 2 is a kind of "catechism" that rehearses possible questions. If you reside in the USA, Joe & Co. will graciously send you a free copy. If you live elsewhere, you'll need to read it online.

A Clever Clunker

What Aggie calls the "whitewashing" has commenced as a number of Tkach-sect websites waste no time in undergoing a makeover from Worldwide Church of God to Grace Communion International.

"One ministry blog has already been whitewashed. The Surprising God Blog has not (yet). One Pennsylvania congregation has been whitewashed. WCG’s vulnerable and at-risk youth recruitment propaganda has not been whitewashed (yet). One TN congregation has been whitewashed. Anybody speak Spanish? Looks like this congregation has been whitewashed, but I can’t tell for certain." (From ISA)

The move is clever. We all know the sect is still Joe's stolen sinecure. Legally it's still WCG, but a new name creates further distance from the past. Those of us who are past members of WCG have effectively been cut loose a second time... we were never members of anything called Grace Communion International. Joe has put on a silly hat and a plastic nose, "can't see me!"

And it is a clanger of a name. GCI doesn't have the x-factor when it comes to church marketing. I don't think the Glendora mullahs will be too worried though, their downsized sect will continue to rake in returns on legacies and assets for a long time.

One of the interesting revelations that came out in the recent Monte Wolverton interview was that (and I'm heavily paraphrasing here) Pope Joe and Cardinal Mike put the hard word on Monte to hand over his father's Bible Story artwork to the WCG/GCI, even though he had possession. Why? Well, it's obviously worth at least thirty pieces of high grade silver. Because Basil was in church employment at the time the drawings were made, they had the legal right to demand them. Morally speaking though, it was the pits. So if you're wondering why the Wolverton Bible has all those obsequious references to Joe, Mike and WCG... look no further. This is how they treat their friends.

The point is, Joe and Mike are anything but mushy marshmallows. Behind the goofy appearance and sanctimonious exteriors lie hard, calculating men. Their Achilles heel is that they rarely get those calculations right, for which we can all be grateful.

Time to Break Free

So the WCG is now Grace Communion International?

You know, the really ironic thing is that Pope Joe and Cardinal Mike sat on their hands all through the fiasco of the eighties and early nineties.

The Apostle raved, and they joined in cheering.

Decent, honest people were purged, and they whistled and hooted.

These guys knew what was going on, and they assented.

Joe and Mike were active collaborators with evil.

Of course, now they've "seen the light." But only after it was convenient to do so.

And they've reformed the church, and now with a final coat of whitewash, even renamed it.

They reformed the doctrine, but not the structure.

One wonders why.

Sabbaths are out, Pastor Generals stay in.

The Trinity is in, but an elected Board with inbuilt checks and balances is locked out.

Financial transparency is shunned, but feel free to wave your arms at appropriate moments in services.

Sure, the church's teachings needed an overhaul: and a really radical overhaul. That's a no-brainer. But the church's hierarchical, oppressive structure needed dismantling even more.

It still does.

But there sits Joe in his comfy high-backed swivel chair, the third Pastor General.

BY WHAT RIGHT? By what MANDATE?

None, other than Daddy tapped him on the shoulder.

And Joe Senior? He was tapped on the shoulder by whom?

Herbert W. Armstrong.

To dress this up as some kind of episcopal governance is plain deceitful. This was, and continues to be, a top-down structure that spits in the faces of those that rally to it, even those who sacrifice hugely for it.

There is more accountability in the Roman Catholic communion than the post-Armstrong sect that Tkach and his buddies reign over.

Let's be clear, the name change illustrates just how Pope Joe operates.

Who suggested the name (initially something like Grace International Fellowship)?

Pope Joe.

All the "consultation" was pro forma. Window dressing. Rubber-stamping. Right from the start it was evident that Pope Joe the Petulant would have his way. You'd have had to be particularly dense not to realize that when Joe christened the church's post-graduate program "Grace Communion Seminary." Even a moron in a hurry could see the writing on the wall.

Joe Tkach is no better than Herbert Armstrong. In fact he's arguably worse, in a weak-kneed, underhanded way.

Those members who remain with WCG/GCI might well ponder what benefits now remain for continuing:

• to attend a church which denies them the rights of full members
• to fund a church which allows no meaningful participation in decision making
• to support a denomination which is now virtually indistinguishable from a thousand evangelical bodies, almost all of which carry less toxic baggage
• to financially contribute to a church which has a history of sub-standard financial accountability and undisclosed salaries

It's time to tell Joe where to go. Now is a great time to finally break free.

Get GIC'd

Tkach sect becomes GRACE COMMUNION INTERNATIONAL.

The bearded patriarch and unelected Pastor Generalissimo has climbed off the fence. WCG has been renamed.

http://www.wcg.org/events/new09/april2009letter.htm

Much good may it do him. The April letter is, IMHO, a manipulative, condescending piece of patronizing PR.

No announcement, you'll note, that Pope Joe is stepping down from his position and re-establishing the church on non-hierarchical lines.

An Onion By Any Other Name

From: Joseph Tkach...
Sent: Thursday, 18 December 2008 6:48 AM
To: [a variety of apparatchiks]
Cc: 'Mike Feazell'
Subject: RE: Status of Denominational Name Change

Greetings again today!

Since sending the email updating you about the survey, Mike suggested to me that I share with you, my original email to all U.S. pastors:

Greetings from Glendora!

It is always such a great joy to see all of you at our annual district conferences, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you and your work in Christ. My only regret is that there is never enough time to interact with everyone as much I would like.

One of the common questions we discussed and that I’m frequently asked is, “When will we change our denominational name?”

I want to answer that question and also seek your assistance.


First, let me rehearse the background to the question of changing our denominational name.

1. Some people have an immediate negative reaction to the name “Worldwide Church of God” because of our past. Changing our name signals clearly that a change has taken place. It also strengthens our witness to God’s grace and his intervention in our fellowship.

2. “Church of God” conveys association with any one of a number of sectarian groups that have long used that name, such as the Churches of God, Anderson, Indiana, and many others. Some of these churches are Pentecostal, and most are fundamentalist.

3. When considering a name for our denomination, we need to consider the future as well as the past. Choosing a name for a church is a spiritual matter, but it has important practical implications. The name becomes the church’s public trademark, and helps people form a concept of who we are. What we call ourselves also has business and legal implications.

4. Our name should not misrepresent what the church is. Older members will remember that our church has been known as Worldwide Church of God only since 1968. Before then, we were known as the Radio Church of God. This made sense at the time, as the church had pioneered religious radio broadcasting. In the thirties, forties and maybe even the fifties, a name that included the word “radio” sounded dynamic and modern. But by the ’60s, it had begun to sound quaint and out-of-date. Membership was growing, and congregations were established around the world. We needed a name that described what our church had become. So “Worldwide” was chosen, and it has served us well. But today, the name “Worldwide Church of God” name carries the baggage of our pre-transformational reputation and culture and therefore misrepresents who and what we are as a denomination.

Since the beginning of our doctrinal transformation ministers and members alike have been raising the question of changing the name of the denomination. Because our doctrinal foundation, mission focus and church structure have undergone major changes, many have and continue to express their feeling that we need a name that better represents who the church is today and where it is going in the future.

As you know, in the September 2005 issue of WCG Today, members in the United States were invited to submit possible new church names to their pastors. District superintendents collected the suggested names and forwarded them to Glendora. Members, national leaders and mission developers from all over the world were also invited to participate in the process.

Our name search team, which was appointed by the WCG Board of Directors and was composed of a number of leading men and women from various departments at headquarters, examined the names submitted and made recommendations to the Board and to the Advisory Council of Elders.

After a reviewing all the submitted names and discussing the viable ones at length, the search team isolated key terms that reflect the church’s values and mission as a denomination while avoiding key terms that are normally associated with other denominations as well as those that are already in use by other organizations.

The name search team presented their findings and recommendations to a combined meeting of the Board and the Advisory Council of Elders on Dec. 20, 2005. After all factors and criteria were considered, the Board and the Council settled on the name “Grace Communion International” as best representing who and what our church is today and where it is going in the future.

The rationale was published in the February 6, 2006, issue of WCG Today:

Grace: Grace lies at the heart of our values and mission as a transformed church. The gospel is the message of God’s grace to humanity revealed in Jesus Christ. And it is by God’s grace that we were led out of our former legalism and biblical misinterpretation. If we must choose one word to best describe our fellowship in terms of our spiritual journey and our ongoing mission and goals, it would have to be the word grace.

Communion: The terms church, community, communion, assembly, conference and fellowship can all refer to a group of congregations belonging to a single denomination. Of these terms, communion includes the concept of spiritual unity and positive relationships in the love of the Father, the grace and peace of Jesus Christ and the life of the Holy Spirit. It is a biblical word, and one that resonates on several levels with our experience of transformation and new life in Christ, who shares with us his own communion with the Father and the Spirit.

The terms "community, fellowship and church" are less likely to be approved by the trademark office, in the current opinion of counsel.

International: We are an international, multicultural church. We value and respect one another, existing not as a single, national church in any given country, but as a unified body of believers who span the globe, sharing a common history and journey of faith.

(As a reminder, the name “Grace International Fellowship,” which I originally raised for consideration at our worldwide pastors conference in the summer of 2005, we found to be in use by another organization. That made it unavailable to us and meant that even variations of it could subject us to legal challenges.)

The approved name, “Grace Communion International,” was met with mixed reactions when it was first announced in early 2006. Although a majority of members expressed their support for the new name, we decided to put the name change on hold to allow more time to see whether a greater comfort level might develop among members did not.

As time has passed, the consensus in favor of the name “Grace Communion International” has continued to grow. Although we cannot expect 100 percent agreement on any name, it does seem that there is a growing majority of ministers and members who favor a change to this name.

We are a church that God has changed radically from what we once were to what we are today. Our change to a new name that accurately describes what God has done with us would be consistent with that transformation.

As you know, most of our congregations have already taken on local names, demonstrating the value in putting before the public a name other than our current denominational moniker. A new denominational name would underscore the rationale used by our local churches in allowing our name to reflect who our Father has made us through the Spirit to be in Jesus Christ.

Grace Communion International describes our spiritual journey together, celebrates our new life in Christ, and communicates our Trinitarian/Incarnational theology.

Any change, even a positive and accepted one, can generate a level of uncertainty and distress. That means your personal support as a pastor would be crucial to helping your congregation through the transition of a name change.

As a reminder, we are speaking about the change of the name of the denomination only. Each local church, and each international church, will still be able to choose its own name that may or may not be the same as our denominational name (or even keep the name "Worldwide Church of God"). Some North American congregations might wish to change their name to "Grace
Communion" (we anticipate obtaining the legal trademark to this shortened version of the name as well), or some variant, but they do not have to adopt our denominational name as their local church name.

Here is where I’d like to ask for your help. In order to gain a sense of whether now is finally the time for us to change our denomination name to "Grace Communion International", I am asking each pastor to do these three things:

1) explain the need for the change
2) explain the meaning of the new name
3) survey the response by asking your congregation for a show of hands as to whether they are supportive of this name change now. Please reply to this email with the results of a show of hands (e.g. 75% in favor, 25% opposed, or vice versa) along with the name of your congregation(s). While the email address bears my name, it is a temporary address for the purpose of this survey.

Thanks for your help in this and your continued faithful service in the gospel.

In Jesus’ love,
Joseph Tkach

AW response: dear Joe, ditching the baggage is a great idea, so why not start with the hierarchic leadership which has no mandate! Your resignation and the creation of representative structures (elected board, conference structure etc.) would mark a genuine change, unlike your present window dressing proposal.)

Wonderful World Ahead?

Few WCG publications have had the torturous history that The Wonderful World Tomorrow: What It Will Be Like has had.

The first edition came out in 1966 at just under a hundred pages, co-authored by Herbert and Ted Armstrong. It was to gain infamy from its opening paragraph:

Where will YOU be, ten years from now? You can know what is going to happen. In this booklet you are going to take an astonished glimpse into this world as it will be - in just ten or fifteen short years.

Of course, fifteen years later it was 1981. Whoops.

There was a revised edition in 1973 (shown in the photograph above), but the next hard copy I have in my files is from 1979, published in hardback by the church imprint Everest House. The title has been slightly altered: Tomorrow... What It Will Be Like. By this time Ted had been expunged - the "cultural revolution" of 1978 had broken over the church like Hurricane Katrina, leaving one senile, unpredictable, imperious megalomaniac as supreme figurehead. Herbert's name now stands alone. This was the version that appeared in US bookstores, destined to lie in unsold heaps, little more than a "vanity publication."

By 1982 the WCG was reissuing it "... not to be sold. It is a free educational service in the public interest..." Educational? In the public interest? Do tell... The text is virtually identical with the Everest House edition, but the title has been restored to its original form.

I have no idea whether it made it off the presses again before Armstrong's death. PCG undoubtably now owns the rights to this "masterpiece."

But fear not little flock, if you missed out on the earlier versions, and can't stomach the thought of crawling to Gerry for a copy, you can secure an "almost the same thing" genuine imitation. Earlier this year LCG released a colorful 35 page clone entitled The World Ahead: What It Will Be Like, authored by none other than your favorite "leading evangelist" and mine, Roderick C. Meredith. While the word "joy" isn't the first one I associate with Rod and his "three to five years" gospel, it figures prominently in the sub-heads: "JOY Under God's Government" (arbeit macht frei?) and "Teachers of JOY!"

I guess you could call it the Ren and Stimpy "Happy happy joy joy" rewrite.