PCG - Brexit buffoonery

Richard Palmer must have been a very busy little bee providing copy on Brexit as the print deadline for the August issue of the Flurry Trumpet loomed.

August? But it's nary half way into July you protest. Beats me too, but PCG likes to stay ahead of the calendar.

Palmer produced two articles on the hop; What's Next for Britain? and What's Next for Europe? As with all COG pundits, I'm intrigued to know what actual experience and qualifications Richie brings to his analysis. A degree in political science? Years working on the stock exchange? An auntie living in Brussels? Probably not. Just a delusional belief that alcoholic apostle Herb Armstrong was right - even when he was wrong - and Gerry is his prophet.

And make no mistake, the Armstrong name comes up again and again in the Palmer punditry. I have this little technique which makes this level of idolatry just a tad more palatable. For every "Mr. Armstrong", "Herbert Armstrong", "Herbert W. Armstrong" or variations thereof I simply substitute the word Moloch. For variety I'll sometimes go for fishier Dagon. Yes, I know, but it stops me banging my head obsessively against the keyboard.

If you really want to know something about Brexit and the ongoing aftermath, I recommend the excellent online version of The Guardian - just be sure you select the UK edition.

A more comprehensive overview of the August (actually July) Trumpet is available on the Living Armstrongism blog.

PCG: We're the one

Living Armstrongism has given us an advance peek at the cover of the upcoming (July) Philadelphia Trumpet. No surprise, Gerry, Stephie and the Edmond minions are going to milk Brexit for all it's worth, and then some.

But notice, the emphasis isn't on the searing accuracy of Bible Prophecy. The cover is emphasizing the prophetic gift not of John the Revelator or Dan the Man of lion's den fame, but of... Herb Armstrong. Not that "Bible Prophecy" has a single word to say about Brexit, the EU or any of the other things PCG projects onto the Good Book, but you know what I mean.

So why the Herbolatry? Why not just spread out their favorite proof texts and connect the dots? That's not a Bible quote on the cover, but a carefully selected Herbal snippet. Do they really need to keep genuflecting to the memory of the old one-eyed goat? Well, yes they do, and it says a lot about their growth strategy - or lack thereof.

Who on earth remembers Herb today? Clearly PCG does, along with the most brazen imitators (David Crowl Pack and company), but out there in the wider community Herb is long forgotten. Even UCG is restrained in its references to the so-called apostle.

The reason for the obsequious, idolatrous reverence for Armstrong can be summed up in the word legitimation. Flurry Senior was a very lowly figure in the old WCG. Did Herb even pay much attention to him? PCG has had to spend a lot of time and money demonstrating that Gerry - and only Gerry - has assumed the anointed mantle, despite a total lack of evidence to that effect and given that Herb never passed on to him as much as the steam off the coffee he slurped down on the Day of Atonement. What to do? Prayer rocks, a copycat auditorium, a college emblazoned with the sacred name and reprints of Holy Herbal booklets.

Who are they trying to convince? The big bad outside world that doesn't remember Herb? No. Well, how about ex-members who've been grazing in other pastures - LCG, UCG etc.? While that might seem an obvious conclusion, it seems doubtful. When was the last time you heard of a Meredith devotee jumping the fence into PCG's field? How many UCG members have suddenly seen the light after viewing The Key of David and, shouting loud hosannas as they go, moved into the Edmond orbit?

Not many.

The Trumpet magazine, the Key of David, KPCG... are all designed to shore up the current membership. Anything else is purely for effect. Suggesting they have any kind of outward focus, even to the wider COG community, is largely wishful thinking. They're there to keep the existing tithe slaves content and focused. The message that gets repeated again and again is that PCG is continuing the work of Herbert Armstrong - so stay put.

But there's change coming. Gerry is an old dude and son Stephen is waiting in the wings. Ikkle Stephie has a dilemma; you can really have only one idol on the altar. When Gerry carks it, who will Stephen choose to venerate in prime position, Daddy or Herbie? Gerry is supposedly "that prophet", but his days are numbered. We can expect the usual florid encomiums when he goes the way of all flesh, but the emphasis will then have to move. You can bet that Stephie has already worked that out and has a trajectory in mind. You can also be pretty sure he hasn't confided in the old man.

Meantime, right now the PCG is staying on message. Gerry and Herb, like fish and chips, inseparable. Convenient in that Herb has been dead for decades and can't do what we know he'd have done to Gerry's pretensions if he'd still been alive. In this issue Herb is dragged out of the publishing morgue to testify to his (and by association PCG's) prophetic brilliance. PCG members will lap it up, but the rest of us will probably just sigh a bit and shake our heads.

The Mouse that Roars

(HT to Living Armstrongism)

Here are the PCG Feast sites for 2016 according to an anonymous source. There are fewer sites this year, but look at the "expected attendance" figures.

Edmond, OK 700
Lexington KY 650
Palm Harbor, FL 600
Ogden, UT 300+
Bellingham, WA 225
Huntsville, Ontario, Canada 200
Invermere, BC, Canada 200
St. Lucia, Caribbean 150
Enfield, Ireland 275
Tweed Heads, Australia 350
Clark, Philippines 350
Limpopo, South Africa 125
Medellin-Guatape, Colombia 60
Huanchaco, Peru 25

If you take time to do the maths, the result is interesting - 4210. The disclosure prompted these comments on Living Armstrongism.

In reality the PCG is much smaller. Remember these numbers give the capacity of the sites, not the actual attendance. I have visited some of the places listed and attendance there during the feast was nowhere near these figures.

Also remember site capacity numbers also take into account infants, children and unbaptised youths/adults. Actual baptised PCG members would be much closer to 3,000 globally.

It is also an old church. For example, in two of the church areas I have visited I am the youngest baptised male, and I am over 50!

PCG talks up big and spends up big, but it's tithe-bleeding base is extremely modest. Their "business manager" must be a worried man.

Thirty Years On

It's been thirty years since Herbert Armstrong departed the land of the living - now ticking on for 31. After three decades we're beginning to see a major die-back among those groups that loudly claimed his mantle.

The Church of God, an International Community is one of them. Splintering from UCG and led by former World Tomorrow presenter (and later founding UCG president) David Hulme, it struggled on for years, never reaching a critical mass. COG-AIC haemorrhaged prominent ministers. Rumour has it that Hulme thought he could get away with dumping the deeply flawed British-Israel doctrine, but Peter Nathan et al had other ideas. It no longer publishes its journal, Vision. In fact, the energy levels were so low that subscribers weren't even informed of its demise. COG-AIC has been downsized, scaled back to the point of irrelevance.

There are also reports that the Philadelphia Church of God has been hit in the pocketbook to the tune of a 25% reduction in income. PCG continues to throw money at its British Bricket Wood clone, Edstone Hall, and Gary is reporting that founder Gerry Flurry is set to purchase a personal jet to wing him - and members of his inner circle - across the Atlantic and beyond, just like his long-dead idol. Apparently flying commercial (and we're clearly talking first class here) is just too much for the great man to endure. How can he afford it? Perhaps it's all those bequests that have accumulated over the years, the gift that keeps on giving. Reason enough to check that your current will is up to date and that the parasites don't get a red shekel.

The United Church of God, an International Association is treading water at best. It's not that they're not trying to recruit new blood, it's just that they're not very good at it. UCG is still operating with a 1980s mentality, despite having paid out big bucks to bring its websites and media facades up to scratch. The message, however, is firmly targeted at old white males of the grumpier variety. Alas, lads, not only are the times a-changin' but so is the demographic.

The Living Church of God is facing a challenging time. Meredith won't be around forever, his successor is probably not up to the job, and there's widespread disillusionment in the ranks. Meredith predictably blames it on Satan. Anyone with a functioning brain can apportion responsibility closer to home than that.

And out beyond the barriers and borders that each of these "major" bodies has erected? "Here be dragons." With a couple of honourable exceptions, there you'll find Thiel, Weinland, Dankenbring and their ilk. Hardly a pretty picture.

The Churches of God will battle on in an increasingly diminished capacity for some time to come, but they have about as much chance of making a comeback as Christian Science or the Christadelphians.

Oh good grief!

Another brilliant expositor of the Herbolatrous Truer than True Truth. Jacob Israel Cyrus. Ya reckon that's the name his mammy gave him? Regardless, ol' Jake is a big fan of not only the High & Herbal One ("God's Signet" no less) but Gerry "6-pack" Flurry as well. I only got so far through his website before the barfing reaction started to set in, but I'm assuming Herbaceous Jake is a rogue member of PCG, possibly from the Philippines, and blessed beyond measure with deeper than deepity dippity doo insight on prophecy that he feels compelled to share with anyone sufficiently lobotomized to pay heed.

For an extra dose of fun, check out this guy's bio. Gotta say, it takes delusion one step further than most of us have seen so far. He also seems to think that the movie Gods of Egypt was made for the PCG. Whoa, cutting insight there!

Surprising then that a quick web search finds him mentioned on no other websites other than his own "Light to the Gentiles".

Famous in his own lunchtime.

Old Macdonald had a farm...

The anonymous commentator at Church of God News has this to say about the Flurry college.

There had been no news of developments at Edstone in England since the opening of the college in January 2015, until a post in February 2016 by Brandi Davis that Edstone Welcomes Six New Residents - that’s six pregnant Suffolk sheep, not students. 

“Mr. Macdonald (PCG’s Regional Director) chose this breed because they are a large breed, good for barbequing on the spit ... Mr. Macdonald also plans to add chickens to Edstone’s agricultural program in the spring.” 

Brad Macdonald has a farm? Why? ... “having a small flock of sheep on the rural English campus is another way Edstone seeks to raise the ruins of the Ambassador College campuses. Ambassador’s campus in Bricket Wood, Hertfordshire, also had an agricultural program, of which Mrs. Howard’s brother (uncle of Edstone’s office manager) was head cattleman. The 1,600-acre Ambassador campus in Big Sandy, Texas, also had a large agricultural program."

Now in April there have been 3 posts by Brandi Davis. 

A visit to the French and Belgian brethren was hampered somewhat by none of the Americans being able to speak French and most of the French and Belgians not being able to speak English. 

She then reported on the record increase in response to the Key of David, which is broadcast on the CBS Reality TV channel at 8.00am on Sundays, following the Living Church of God’s ‘Tomorrow’s World’ broadcast.) 

The most recent post was a day in the life of an Edstone student: 

“Up at 5am ... the fitness center for a 20-minute workout ... shower ... TheTrumpet.com for morning headlines over sips of (freshly ground and brewed Ethiopian roast) coffee ... Malachi’s Message for Bible study.” (Not the final book of the Old Covenant, but God’s Revelation to Gerald Flurry.)

What is it that creates the kind of student mentality that PCG caters to? I get that most (all?) of these kids come from PCG homes. I get that many, having little hope of getting into a major college, grab the chance to get a piece of paper from the bargain aisle - affordable fees, nice facilities. even international travel. I get that there would be pressure from mummies and daddies laying it on the line about Flurry's college being their only option. And I get that the "first families" of Flurrydom are onto a very good deal indeed with kid glove treatment for those in the preferred gene pool. But these kids grow up in the same world everybody else does; reality TV, Facebook, Pandora, hormones and a drive to become independent people... How many are just playing the game by the rules set for them, biding their time?

The experience of those born into a high demand religious movement is different from those who were recruited from their late teens onward. In WCG the dropout rate of kids raised in the faith was huge. It's hard to imagine PCG is any different. One wonders what percentage of those bright-eyed young folk heading to Edmond or Edstone actually graduate with their junk degrees? And of those who endure unto the end, how many will remain in the Flurry fiefdom for the longer term?

The Strumpet

The Living Armstrongism blog has a review of the latest issue of PCG's The Trumpet. The cover speaks for itself. "The issue contains an inflammatory cover made by Gary Dorning trying to stir up resentment and fear of President Obama. PCG leans far to the right in regards to politics so they wish Obama was not president." (Redfox).

American politics; sheesh. Bear in mind that traditionally the COGs have pretended to be politically neutral, discouraging their members from voting. The reality is somewhat different. Herbert Armstrong's political views were well known, and church publications leaned heavily in advocacy journalism. That is even more apparent in the squabbling sects today.

The latest Trumpet Weekly apparently beats the same drum. The cover is supplied by a reader in the States, and features another political piece by heir presumptive, daddy's pride and joy, Stephen Flurry.

More interesting is the question of how many COG members ignore the non-voting advice. I can say, hand on heart, that I voted throughout the years of my WCG membership with a clear conscience (and I'm darn sure I didn't vote the way the ministry would have supported). Anecdotally one suspects that a substantial part of the COG demographic does indeed turn up to cast a ballot though most wouldn't admit it.

For the full baloney rundown on this issue (baloney as in the mag, not the review), hit the link above.

The Plain Truth on Race, 1964

Over at Living Armstrongism Redfox has an interesting post about current paranoia promotion in the Philadelphia Church of God over racial issues; PCG's False Prophecy of "Race War". Reading it I was reminded of the articles published in The Plain Truth in the 1960s. Perhaps the most disturbing example I've found comes from the pen of a certain Roderick C. Meredith, writing in the September 1964 issue.

The article, "CRISIS Flares into Bitter Racial REVOLT!" (emphasis in original) is anything but an objective, calming word on the subject. Meredith explicitly rejects the program of peaceful civil disobedience led by Martin Luther King, then under the sub-head "The Prophesied REVOLT of the Gentiles in Our Land" he makes some amazing statements after quoting Deuteronomy 28:43 [The stranger that is within thee shall get up above thee very high; and thou shalt come down very low]

"The Hebrew word here translated 'stranger' is clearly referring to the GENTILES or peoples of other races - who are living in the midst of modern-day Israel."

By "modern-day Israel" Meredith means the Anglo nations. By "Our Land" he means Anglo-Americans only. Where he went from there you can read for yourself in the clipping from that article.

Granted, this was the 1960s, these were less enlightened times and hindsight has 20/20 vision. Yet this same sabre-rattling logic seems to have been passed on like a virus into groups like the PCG. And what about the LCG and its ministry? Has the current Presiding Evangelist ever repudiated these statements?

Wouldn't it be interesting to sit down with Meredith now, all these years later, and ask "do you regret writing that? Is that the way you still understand those passages?" and maybe, just maybe, "would you like to offer an apology for what you wrote back then?"

There are many people who find it hard to accept that the Worldwide Church of God was ever racist in its teachings, or that BI was a fundamental part of that problem. That's not to say all members today share those views; many - perhaps most - absolutely don't.

Then again, some do, and that's a problem.

And honestly, can you separate out BI assumptions from Meredith's prejudices?

Radio Church of God, 2016 style

Herbert Armstrong's ministry began in the 1930s as the Radio Church of God, a name that stuck through till the 1960s. Radio may have become far less important over the intervening decades, but a few faithful followers of Herb's vision are still slogging away in front of a microphone. A very few have gone beyond simply buying up time on commercial outlets, and created DIY stations of their own.

Gerry Flurry's PCG operates its own low power FM station out of its compound/campus in Edmond, Oklahoma. KPCG, variously styled The Voice and Trumpet Radio, broadcasts a heady (or perhaps headless?) mixture of classical recordings, far right rhetoric and biblical broadsides. Thanks to the internet, loyal PCG members can tune in for wall-to-wall Flurryism 24/7, wherever in the world they happen to be.

Then there's Radio4Living. Based in London and probably operating out of someone's garage or spare room, this internet-only enterprise booms out with the Armstrong gospel to whoever cares to listen which, frankly, won't be all that many (under 300 people have added it to their Tune In app, most of whom will have then forgotten it's there). John Jewel, Warren Zehrung and others hold this ministry together, with old HWA recordings added into the mix for good measure.

If it's nostalgia they want, I recommend old episodes of the Andy Griffith Show instead.

Borg Alert! New Cube Over Edmond

Oh joy, another COGlet...

LCG and UCG can relax - at least for the moment - this time it's Gerry Flurry, imperious leader of the Philadelphia Church of God, and Robert Ardis, one of PCG's more colorful defectors, who are facing a Borg challenge. Frank Borg, to be specific. Exactly why the new splinter - Faithful Church of God in Laodicea - split off from the collective is hard to say, but it seems to be a fairly recent peeling away, perhaps just a few weeks prior to this year's Feast of Tabernacles. The new sect's two booklets (both by Frank) are dated 2009, and the website still seems to be a work in progress.

There are some who might say that Borg is an apt moniker for sects like PCG and Ardis' CGF, and the image of Gerry as "Borg Queen" does have a certain undeniable attraction. Here's Borg's take on the latest COG hemorrhage:

By 1997, it began to transpire that Mr. Flurry’s focus and commission had changed to again deliver the gospel message to the World – a commission that had already been completed by Mr. Armstrong (Matt. 24:14). Around this time God raised up another man, Mr. Robert Ardis, as leader of the Church of God’s Faithful (CGF) to head His Laodicean Work. God used Mr. Ardis to reveal a number of Truths including the deepening in understanding of the meaning of God’s Holy Days, and other vital teachings such as the fact that the Day of the Lord and the Day of the Lord’s Wrath are two separate events. To date, no other group has accepted these Biblical Truths. It became evident that, with Mr. Ardis as leader, the Laodicean candlestick was ignited and blessed with deeper understanding in a number of Biblical areas. However, Mr. Ardis also preached that the Day of the Lord came ‘as a thief in the night’ in October 1997. As time passed, the Laodicean characteristics outlined in Rev. 3:14-22 became increasingly evident in Mr. Ardis’ CGF, including a Laodicean attitude towards the Work of God (vs. 15). Among other things, by mid-August 2009, it became clear that the ‘Day of the Lord’ had not in fact occurred but was erroneously being preached. Biblical evidence proved that this momentous event is now about to occur and that an urgent warning message must go out to God’s people (Joel 1:15; 2:1). This vital information was immediately delivered to Mr. Ardis but was blatantly rejected (Hos. 4:6).

God seems to keep choosing the wrong blokes, regardless of whether their candlesticks are ignited. Maybe he should hire a consultancy firm.

Perhaps it's too much to hope that this group will be more of a thorn in the flesh to Gerry than most other Flurridian split-offs, but it does boast a mailing address in Edmond, OK., right on "that prophet"'s doorstep. Nasty!

Resistance, it seems, may not be futile after all.

Trumpeting Out of Tune

Phlurrydelphia Trumpet hack Ron Fraser writes in the October issue:

In February 1934, Herbert W. Armstrong launched a magazine... It was to become the most widely circulated of all periodic publications during the 20th century.

That's an interesting claim, but is it really credible?

Of greater concern is the ratcheting up of PCG's anti-German rhetoric yet a further notch, if that's possible. When does this stuff stop being just wacky and cross the threshold into hate literature? A full page ad proclaims "The Fourth Reich is Rising." Another staff writer, Brad Macdonald, attempts to convince us that Herb was right all along when he said (in 1945):

And the Nazis have now gone UNDERGROUND. ... They plan to COME BACK and to win on the third try.

Wasn't Hitler supposed to be hiding out in South America, or in a secret base in Antarctica or something? How did Herb know that? I guess it was "the more sure word of prophecy." But hey, it's 2009 Brad. No matter, another Trumpet hack, Joel Hilliker, assures us...

It is all now so close to coming to pass. We are witnessing the beginning of the seventh and final resurrection of the Holy Roman Empire.

Sorry lads, but we are witnessing no such thing.

Within a Decade

What a complete plonker Gerry Flurry is!

That, of course, is merely a statement of my honestly held opinion. There are, it seems, a number of people who think that, to the contrary, he should be taken seriously.

Those folk need to take notice of the front cover of his latest Trumpet magazine.

"Major news sources ask Will Christ Ever Return? Yes, He will. And probably within a decade!"

Haven't we all heard that before?

The "major news sources" reference is to Newsmax, described on Wikipedia as "a propaganda and media organization of the American extreme right-wing..." I guess that passes as "major" for the like-minded house-writers cloned at PCG.

Weirdly enough, this same issue contains - along with the usual hateful political dilettantism and drivel - a story about Herb Armstrong's misplaced sense of apocalyptic expectation. As the tale goes, back in the 1920s a group of journos were shooting the breeze about "what would be the most astonishing and dramatic newspaper headline." One hack suggested "Second Coming of Christ Happened This Morning!"

Little did they know that the future End Time Sole Apostle was in their midst, who sagely then observed: "You men may live long enough to write that headline."

The last laugh was on the High and Herbaceous One: as Bonnie Prince Stephen drolly observes, "As it turns out, they didn't. Neither did Mr. Armstrong."

And the lesson is? Well, whatever it might be, it has clearly zinged straight past the Edmond heir-head.

Gerry Spends Up Big

Gerry "Six Pack" Flurry has been swanning around in Big Sandy, and guess what he's brought home to Oklahoma?

Mormons collect "mormonabilia", so I guess Gerry collects "herbabilia," and there's been no looking back since he hauled the "prayer rock" to Edmond. Over the years since he's continued, um, pecking away...

No, Gerry, we're all really impressed, aren't we campers? Interested readers will surely want to flock, as it were, to the PCG's triumphant announcement of purchase. Maybe we could all hire a bus for a pilgrimage...

Stroking Gerry's Ego

More brain-dead bumf from the "hand me a press release and we'll print it" school of Oklahoma journalism. Oh gee, a full color two-page spread extolling the virtues of the Flurry cult's concert series. Be still my beating heart!

This travesty appeared in a lifestyle rag called Distinctly Oklahoma. The PCG leadership is delighted and is trumpeting the feature on its own website. Obviously its clientele is easily impressed.

All the sweeter then to see that Alexa ratings have Bob Thiel's amateur LCG-devotee blog and website consistently pulling a hugely better rating (162,186) than the horrendously expensive Flurry website (485,610). In fact AW itself - another highly amateur effort - is also currently a couple of tads ahead of PCG (467,077). Sadly, unlike the Edmond empire builders, neither Bob nor myself accept money.

Gerry's tantrum II

A full page ad in The Oklahoman features the prophet's protestations...

Click to enlarge. Unfortunately not easy to read even then, but you'll get the gist of it. (Update: the full text is now on PCG's website here.)

Gerry is not happy!

Gerry is, of course, Gerry Flurry, a.k.a. "that prophet" and Pastor General of the PCG (Philadelphia Church of God.)

The Branch Davidian references on Fox really seem to have set the old boy off.

"It was disgraceful. Yellow journalism at its worst." He speaks of his "1993 sin" which "I publicly repented of before the church and before God..."

"We will not allow Fox 25's damaging innuendos, smears, and lies to be the last word."

Fox News has attacked not only PCG, but "Almighty God!" "Fox 25 has more in common with the Branch Davidians." Gerry also spend a lot of column inches attacking David Ben-Ariel, formerly David Hoover.

Gerry, Gerry, Gerry... dude, chill; you're just digging yourself in deeper.

(Thanks to David Ben-Ariel who drew AW's attention to the ad.)

Addendum: The Flurry cannonade sounds again: round two of full page ads. Methinks the PG protesteth too much...

PCG throws tantrum

All the toys were thrown out of the cot at a recent PCG press conference. As reported on other blogs, the Flurry High Command was not amused by local coverage of the church on Fox (AW Nov. 30).

Frankly, I thought they got off lightly.

The thing about throwing a hissy fit is that you draw even more attention to the issues you are trying to evade. We now learn the following bit of information.

... about a year ago, [the sheriff's office] conducted a “flyover” of the PCG campus, a preventative measure to see if everything was “on the up and up” and to be sure there would be no Waco-like incident here.

The other notable thing is the existence of a "marketing director" for the church. What, pray tell, are Gerry and Stephen marketing? Public Relations, or Community Relations... well, that'd be understandable, but "marketing director"? Could someone tell these splinters that churches are not supposed to be commercial corporations...

Check out the Everything COG commentary here, and read the Edmond Sun article here. Or just take yourself off into a quiet room away from nearby distractions: you'll probably be able to hear the blubbing and keening all the way from Oklahoma.

The Philadelphia Trumpet position?

Inspired by a recent magazine cover, this commentary appeared in The Clog, the staff blog of Philadelphia's (the city) citypaper.net.

The Philadelphia Trumpet, as Jon points out, has nothing to do with the city or a sexual position (we were disappointed too!). It's actually the monthly publication associated with the Philadelphia Church of God, based in Edmond, OK (get the skinny on them here). While it should be assumed the name derives from the fact that being a Philadelphian is next to godilness, they actually got it from a church in the book of Revelation. It was never mentioned in the 2005 miniseries starring Bill Pullman, so I can't confirm the truth in that statement. Still, had the Trumpet seen Live Free or Die Hard, they would know that we are all in fact vulnerable to cyberterrorism, and only John McClane can save us.

A Philadelphia trumpet position? Uh... will any of us ever be able to think of Gerry's rag in the same way again?

Link not

Bob Thiel recently provided a helpful link on his blog to Gerry Flurry's DUI arrest record - the PDF of the documents released by the State of Oklahoma. This was followed by, dare one say, a flurry of outrage because those papers included the alleged prophet's social security number.

Who to blame, who to blame... Flurridian supporters, one suspects, are not exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer. One might quite properly reserve one's righteous indignation for the authorities that released the documents. Then again, a spot of knicker-twisting might be vented on the website that released the papers onto the web. But no, the holier than thou brethren blamed... Bob!

AW links to a lot of websites and blogs - including Bob's. A link obviously doesn't imply endorsement, just a friendly nod to fellow travellers on the information superhighway. It's surprising then to hear that top officials in the LCG (apparently including sub-ayatollah Ames) were led - doubtless by the holy spirit - to pronounce on the issue, and Bob has now removed the wicked link.

My problem isn't that Bob links, but rather that he doesn't link often enough. In countless posts referring to "the anti-COG" AW blog Bob relentlessly fails to link. I guess that's his version of "Computer Nanny." In this case he did indeed link, to Robert Kuhne's excellent site on PCG. As I understand it, Bob didn't publicise either Flurry's SS number, nor the fact that the SS number was anywhere on the document.

Me, I'm a Kiwi, and therefore blissfully ignorant of the significance of a US SS number. Heck, I didn't think you guys even had social security... next they'll be telling me you have public health insurance! I certainly didn't think twice about linking to the same document, and gehenna will freeze over before that link gets pulled. Unhappy campers can picket outside the courthouse in Edmond which provided the material, or cast sanctimonious proof texts via email at Robert who courageously hosts the info.

For those who missed the link, here it is again: save a copy on your hard drive, email it to your relatives, print out an extra copy to give away. And be sure and drop by Robert's main page. No, I don't see eye to eye with Robert on everything, but he's a brave and principled man performing a valuable service, and that's worth acknowledging!

Caramel Onyx - Iranian opulence in Edmond

Hot off the press comes news that Oklahoma philanthropist and Prophet Gerry Flurry has picked up some expensive baubles for his Ambassador Auditorium clone.

Pastor General Gerald Flurry has approved the interior lighting and semi-precious stone finishes that will adorn the grand lobby of Armstrong Auditorium. Three diamond-shaped crystal chandeliers and coordinating wall sconces were approved, in addition to a caramel-color onyx that will decorate three feature walls in the grand lobby...

The caramel color was chosen to complement the interior finishes and overall color scheme of the building. After viewing several samples that ranged from light cream to dark caramel, Mr. Flurry approved the darker color, and it was agreed that the buyer in Iran should choose the onyx that matched this color during extraction at the quarry.

Nice to know that the Iranian economy is getting a boost from the tithe-payers of the PCG.

Full PR release here.

On the piste with Gerry

The question of the hour: how competent is Philadelphia Church of God Pastor General Gerry Flurry on the piste? We don't even know if he can ski - seems more the toboggan type. But if he does decide to sluice down the slushy slopes we hope he'll be sober.

So much for the term piste - pronounced peest according to my dictionary - not the more obvious way. So now let's move on to a completely unrelated subject.

Short of a little light reading? Enjoy crime TV shows and Judge Judy? Boy, have we got a deal for you. Yes, we all knew about this already... courtesy of the Painful Truth and other sites. But this is more than just old news if you've never seen the official documentation (available as a PDF file).

So settle back in the armchair, crack a six pack and tuck a copy of the Philadelphia Trumpet under the cushion to establish the mood. Then click across.

Finally, a little helpful counsel for confused or disoriented Pastor Generals (or is that Pastors General?) and wannabe prophets...

* never attempt to drive off when a police officer stops to have a wee chat.
* never attempt to bribe a police officer - at least with anything as small as a $20 bill.
* never tell obvious porkies to a police officer.
* if you're gonna drink and drive, make it a ginger beer.

Addendum: some people may be having problems with the link. If so, here's an alternate URL.