Thiel Spiel

I apologize. AW has been woefully neglectful of the CCG and its wondrously gifted prophet Bob Thiel. That's partly because Bob is irrelevant, given to delusions of competence and self-proclaimed master of a puddle-sized splinter sect, but nonetheless he battles on, secure in his own fantasies, and he does manage to attract some small attention from two groups; those few poor souls who take him seriously and those who think he's just plain bizarre.

In any case, the quarterly Bob magazine, grandiosely titled Bible News Prophecy (shouldn't that be Bible News and Prophecy?) is out there and ready for eager readers to devour the prophet's primer-level, semi-literate prose. Two dead men wrote a couple of the articles - handily copyright free from long ago. One was Herb Armstrong (lifted from a 1977 PT), the other by Dibar Apartian (from a 1966 GN). 1966 - dear lord, that was the year before they relaunched Dragnet! Too bad Sergeant Joe Friday and Officer Bill Gannon aren't around now to knock on Bob's door and sort the poor schmuck out. Apartian has been claimed by Thiel as a silent supporter of his unique gifts and a critic of his onetime idol-turned-nemesis, Rod Meredith, despite retaining his status as an evangelist in Meredith's Living Church of God at the time of his death, so Bob is attempting to twist the knife. Mind you, I doubt the old fossils who run things over in Charlotte have even noticed.

Apart from the reruns of Herb and Dibar's stuff, everything else comes from the prophet's very own pen. The lead article screams PROTESTANTS: BEWARE of the ECUMENICAL MOVEMENT!

Bob, sit down and let me explain something to you. Protestant churches - with the exception of a number of fundamentalist retard denominations - created the ecumenical movement.

Oh well.

To be honest, in my view Bob is a complete dead end. His tiny Continuing Church of God is a vanity project that has a future only as long as Bob's personal longevity, and nobody lives forever. I guess it generates a nice little income in the meantime. So why bother even mentioning him? Well, Bible News Prophecy is, if nothing else, a sobering example - or mildly amusing if you think of it from another angle - of extreme nuttiness and dilettantism parading in proof-texting drag. As they say, whatever spins your wheels...

Downloadable (but not recommended).

As the Days of Herb Were

Wouldn't you know it, the lads at COGWA's Discern magazine have an article called Who Would Jesus Vote For? Erik Jones seems to have been channeling Rod Meredith. Nothing new under the dying Herbal sun.

Discern is the magazine you're having when you're not having a magazine. It's an el cheapo download... no hard copy subscriptions. Like other COG publications, it provides a constant stream of "ain't it awful" commentary. The world is going to wrack and ruin, nobody is keepin' the Ten Commandments, and the only hope left is a strong hand from someplace (nod, wink, the return of a militant Christ to smash recalcitrant kneecaps). Cue the article by Jim Franks, the sort of thing that wouldn't have been out of place in a 1940s Plain Truth.

David Treybig has his eye on the ancient enemy, Satan the Devil, and has helpfully written an article called Satan: A Profile. No mention of dualistic Zoroastrian mythology imported into Judaism. Hmm, wonder why. Could it be Dave doesn't know that stuff.

Jeremy Lallier writes about visionaries. His examples are biblical characters. Mike Bennett asks one of the dumber rhetorical questions: Is God Fair?

Behold brethren, a woman writer! Scott Ashley take note! Becky Sweat has a three-page article entitled You Don't Say! Neal Hogberg writes about modern-day slavery. Erik Jones returns with another piece on where the popular image of Jesus ("pale, long-haired") came from. Actually, I think Erik is caught in a time warp. Contemporary portrayals have changed from the doe-eyed Nordic dude to a more realistic image of a Palestinian Jew.

Joel Meeker writes his usual column - heaven knows why - and the back page promotes COGWA's laughably silly e-book called, ahem, The United States, Britain and the Commonwealth in Prophecy. Knock yourself out.

Downloadable... in fact, that's the only way you'll get a copy.

Regurgitating the Herbal hooey

Are the old boys at LCG even capable of an original feature article concept? Nope. They just regurgitate the same old, same old from years - decades - gone by.

How Would Jesus Vote for President? Gimme a break. Halloween Horrors? Oh please...

But, what me worry, here's the skinny on the September/October issue.

Rod "Spanky" Meredith provides an editorial called "Admit the Cause of Problems." Ironic really, but I guess the man is totally incapable of any form of introspection. Rod's solution is the Ten Commandments.

Rod immediately follows up with the feature article, How Would Jesus Vote for President? It has as much relevance as which brand of cola Jesus would drink. For those of us outside the US it's also hard not to wonder why Jesus wouldn't be as interested in how they vote in Australia, Sweden or India. Myopic Meredith. Anyway, bottom line, its Satan's world, and apparently Spankyites should steer clear of the whole, evil electoral thing. I'd be willing to guess that a large number don't, though. The secret is not to let your LCG minister know - what he doesn't know won't hurt him. Anyway, he'll probably be ticking Trump too.

More politics (but don't vote!) as Laurence Hartshorne burbles on about life in Canada and governments at the turn of past century.

Richard Ames writes on The End of the World. Nothing new here, move along.

Simon R.D. Roberts provides a British focus. He's been reading Simon Schama and has decided to bless TW readers with his insightful thoughts - specifically on "The Norman Apocalypse." Of course BI is tied in. You can almost hear Schama groaning.

Rod McNair bursts a valve over Halloween. Jonathan McNair has a twee youth oriented column that no self-respecting teen would be bothered with.

Dougie Winnail has a lightweight piece about the coming of Jesus Christ as a turning point in world history. Wally Smith seeks to educate us about hummingbirds. Mark Sandor wonders if you've missed the "long predicted" Brexit developments.

Yes, it's a precious and original issue. Downloadable. Just to be fair to the lads over in UCG, it's worth pointing out that no female writer was let near the editor's in-tray here either.

BI Commonwealth Covenant Church in the News

Back in February I wrote a piece on the Commonwealth Covenant Church, once New Zealand's largest British Israelite sect. Today it's in the news again, despite being relegated to history for many years.

"Two former church members, one of whom was sexually abused as a girl, say the organisation they grew up in was a "cult" in which multiple abuses were carried out.

"Sophia and her cousin Anna believe the old Commonwealth Covenant Church was as much a cult as any higher-profile religious group such as the Gloriavale community on the West Coast.

"Now 36, Sophia – not her real name – says when she first raised sexual abuse allegations in the 1990s, she and her mother were bullied into leaving the church.

"Sophia and Anna spent much of their youth in the CCC, based in urban centres, including Lower Hutt.

"Jonathan John Edward Belcher, now living in Masterton, was jailed for the offending against Sophia. 

"This week, he said he had served his time, and was a changed man after undertaking a programme for sex offenders while in prison.

"Though a jury found Belcher guilty, and the Court of Appeal and Supreme Court dismissed his appeals, he still accused Sophia of lying.

"She believes he is not remorseful, and wants nothing to do with him.

"The detective who investigated the case, Miles Horsnell​, said Sophia's case was one of the most disturbing he worked on."

"Sophia said the secrecy and patriarchal nature of the CCC was a factor in Belcher's abuse, which began when she was 4...

"And when she raised allegations years later, she said the church dealt with those claims internally, rather than going to police."

"The church in the 1980s and 90s was a cloistered, sexist institution, she said.

"We had really strict rules. Boys and girls weren't allowed to associate. We weren't allowed to cut our hair. No makeup.

"Women were taught to be subservient ... your place was to have babies."

"Sophia and Anna were both certain other CCC children were abused. Anna said some were removed from their parents at times "and sent to other people in the church environment, which was very damaging".

"Both women wanted others to come forward, but acknowledged how difficult it was to do so.

"Anna said the church had a deeply paranoid world view, and members who left had difficulty adjusting to society. "We were completely paranoid of outsiders ... We didn't tell the authorities anything."

"Church leader Stanley Watkins ruled with an iron fist, members were micro-managed, the fear of hell put into them constantly, and during this time a child she knew was taken away from his parents, Anna said.

'"It's really hard for me to talk about ... I know some of [Watkins' relatives] and I don't believe they're bad people."'

"After Watkins' death, the church underwent reforms in the mid-90s, the old power structure was disestablished, and some genuine changes made as the new Hope Centre was established, she said."

The full article is available here.

Beyond Belief

The latest issue of Beyond Today, published by the United Church of God, has been released. For a religious magazine, the cover seems incongruous, pimped as a current events magazine.

Inside:

Scott Ashley with an editorial on the Feast of Tabs.

Scott Ashley again with the lead article on "real leadership" (fitting in with the scary cover art). Alas, I'm not convinced Scott is much of an expert on this subject.

Tom Robinson stirring the pot on "The Immigration Threat."

Darris McNeely posturing as an instant expert on Brexit. Oh how exciting, Darris has it all tied in with prophecy. How unique!

Jerold Aust with a inspirational piece on "God's Greatest Miracle". Somehow he works his way from photosynthesis to the God Family.

Steve Myers on the Feast of Tabernacles.

Dear old Mario Seiglie with another festival article. Who'd have thought this was a festival issue with a cover like that!

Darris is back with a few thoughts about wise and foolish virgins in the parable.

Robin Webber on the holy spirit.

Some anonymous dude writing on "Amazing Examples of Prophecies Already Fulfilled". I wouldn't want my name on that article either.

Peter Eddington on low fuel in the gas tank. I couldn't be bothered to even skim this one, but I'll put a dollar on it being some kind of cheap metaphor.

Now brethren, do we notice anything here? Where are the articles by women? None. Not even a token women writing about something fluffy like the joy of flower arrangement for Sabbath services. Just when you thought the old fellows in the UCG were catching up with the 1980s (obviously the 2010s are way beyond them) they pull out a 100% chest-pounding old boy issue. Guys, guys, guys, time to retire. And to make it worse, still no women listed in the staff box.

Can we all say "misogynist" together?

Available online.

The Olympics and the Ambassador legacy

Sarah Sneider

An article in the Pasadena Independent (August 25) connects Olympic success with the long-closed Ambassador College and the work of Harry Sneider.

In Five Things We Can Learn From Olympians Sarah Sneider reflects on the role of AC in times past. It's a short piece, heavy on references to the late coach and the campus.

"Late Coach Harry Sneider trained 20 athletes in nine different sports for the 1984 Olympics and was nominated Olympic Track and Field Coach. Training and coaching these Olympians in Pasadena at Ambassador College, it was evident they all have five similar character traits. What do they all have in common?"

What follows are five fairly obvious traits. Sneider continues:

"Ambassador College in Pasadena closed in 1990 and many of the buildings of the former Ambassador College campus have been torn down and replaced with condos. In spite of the many changes to the former campus, ironically the gymnasium, Olympic-size swimming pool, racquetball courts, fitness center buildings, and track (now a football field) where the Olympians once trained still remain and are currently used by Maranatha High School. The original dining center where the Olympians enjoyed wonderful meals and the beautiful Ambassador Auditorium also still remain."

The concluding blurb mentions that "Sarah Sneider, winner of nine gold medals in the recent California Senior Games, continues Harry Sneider’s legacy along with her son Rob, a two-time All-American volleyball player who played professionally in Switzerland. They are professional fitness trainers..."

It may be a bit of an advertorial, but some interesting comments.

The David defense

Remember the "David Defense"? King David was a jerk, a murderer, an adulterer and occasionally not at all right in the head. Cruel, sadistic, and yet he was "a man after God's own heart." If David could be such a person, well, the least we could do is overlook modern ministerial peccadilloes (cue in those rumours about Garner Ted and airline stewardesses, and later Herb and Dorothy).

You'd have thought the enlightened pastors of Joe Tkach's GCI would know to steer well clear of that sort of thing these days, restricting themselves to indecipherable "Trinitarian theology" and making vacuous statements of the kind Ted Johnston does. Apparently not. Not in Eau Claire, Wisconsin anyway.

"Pastor" Roger Galstad wrote on this very topic for the local paper, the Leader Telegraph, in July.

Rog sets out the obvious dilemma. Solution: "David sinned big, and he repented even bigger."

What?

The David stories are part of the national epic of ancient Israel, cobbled together out of disparate sources. Archaeology confirms that major parts of the Davidic kingdom tales are highly fictionalized. The writers of this not-so-historical material weren't greatly interested in either historical accuracy or ethical excellence. Rog seems totally oblivious to all this, biblical background seems to totally evade him. Rog is an unreconstructed literalist. Does he really think David wrote Psalm 51 (hint, check a good commentary).

It's all a bit of surprise in that Roger was awarded a Ph.D in religious studies in 2012. You'd think he'd know this stuff. Mind you, the institution (Trinity College, Newburgh, IN) is described as "a conservative evangelical Bible college", mainly offers distance degrees (including their prestigious Ph.D) and is - surprise - unaccredited.

But putting scholarship issues aside, this is just the old self-serving argument dredged up from decades past. "Mr. Ted Armstrong may have done some things which he now regrets, but he's repented and you need to forget it." Then Ted would write articles in the Good News warning of the danger of spreading wicked rumours, just in case we hadn't got the message.

Until, that is, the next time Ted had zipper failure. But no worries, Ted repented again, and again. He was a compulsive repenter. I recollect a sermon he gave in his CGI days where, having just finished writing Peter's Story he proclaimed loudly that he had burned out the very last of his sinful egotism and self obsession.

Turned out he hadn't, as anyone with half a brain could have known just by listening to such a ludicrous statement.

And Roger hasn't moved beyond these kindergarten apologetics?

You may be able to take the preacher out of Armstrongism, but it seems you can't always take Armstrongism out of the preacher.

Quit pickin' on Joe

It always amazes me when people don't "get" the problem with the way Joe Tkach's GCI is set up.

"As for the board members, who should they be? Who would be the voting populaton [sic]? The general membership of GCI? Should there be the travesty like our current national elections carried out in GCI?"

GCI isn't a private company, it's supposed to be a church, a non-profit. It claims a membership. A church needs lines of accountability that ensure that membership is fairly served. It needs officers who serve at the membership's pleasure. It needs lines of accountability that flow both ways - no just accountability of the "members" to the leaders, but even more importantly the leaders to the members.

The Episcopal Lie

GCI claims to be organized on an episcopal basis. That's a fiction. There was no talk of any such thing until the receivership crisis. Prior to that WCG (as it was then known) operated on a legally different basis. Not that it lived up to those obligations; that was one of the big issues that underlay the action by the State of California. The near-papal claims that then conveniently emerged - and the reorganization as a corporate sole - were little more than a ruse to avoid its obligations. Joe Tkach has maintained the lie despite the fact that there is no appetite in GCI for a return to the old Armstrong ways.

Have a look at other church bodies, both in North America and throughout the Western world. Presbyterian, Baptist, Episcopal (yes, even the Episcopal Church), Lutheran, Adventist, Methodist. Add in the Church of God (Seventh Day) for something more directly related to GCI. All have some form of representative structure varying from General Conferences to delegated Synods. Even the Mormons go through the motions. GCI? Not.

It's entirely moronic to imply that because a particular political system has flaws, therefore members of a church should be deprived of their rights and the leaders effectively given carte blanche to do as they please. No system is perfect, but some are clearly much better than others. There's a wide range of helpful models out there used by various denominations. One thing is for sure, GCI's is among the very worst. It takes some swallowing, but both LCG and UCG do a better job in transparency (though their structures continue to deny basic lines of leadership accountability).

But Joe and Co. are nice guys

It's not an issue that a Board has some decent members. Joe has been careful in that respect, apart from larding it up with Tammy. The issue is - is it a real board, capable of independent action and hauling the church's officers into line when necessary? Or is it a collection of carefully selected yes-men and yes-women beholden to the "owner", serving at his pleasure. And exactly who do those board members represent given that they're appointed not elected.

Questions that need clarification

Wouldn't it be wonderful if one of those hand-picked board members responded to the following questions and set any misunderstandings at rest?

1. Who is Joe accountable to?
2. Who is the Board accountable to?
3. Who has (and hasn't) access to the financial statements?
4. Who has (and hasn't) access to Board minutes?
5. What exactly is the legal status of the GCI "members"?

My understanding - and I hope I'm mistaken or years out of date - is:

1. Technically the Board. In reality no-one.
2. Joseph Tkach Jr.
3. Almost nobody. In contrast to UCG and LCG which, dubious as their organizations might be in other ways (and I'm a fan of neither), have a solid record of reporting to their memberships - and in fact anyone else who cares to view them.
4. Almost nobody. In contrast to UCG which publishes minutes online for all to see.
5. They have no real status or rights. Apart from some limited local input, denominational decisions are taken over the tops of their heads entirely. You could describe them as "stakeholders" or "clients". Members? Not really.

Again, I'd be delighted to correct any misunderstandings on my part. The challenge is for Joe or any of his Board members to set the record straight. One lives in hope, but I won't be holding my breath.

A company - unless it's a small family firm - has shareholders. The shareholders meet to determine and approve company policy. GCI doesn't even allow that. No shareholders except Joe and ... who knows.

The Bottom Line

A Christian Church isn't a family firm. It isn't a commercial business. It isn't a personal fiefdom. It shouldn't be run like North Korea. Members are entitled to a voice and representation or they're not really members. Whether or not the "Beloved Leader" postures as a model of benevolence or not is beside the point.

New Bible Advocate released

The September/October issue of the Bible Advocate has been released by the Church of God (Seventh Day). The theme of the issue is the Church. Nothing controversial, as we'd expect from the Denver-based mother church of COGdom, it's all good standard biblical fare in a faith-affirming sense.

Almost all of the articles are sourced in-house; in fact it's a while since ex-WCG writers contributed to the publication, something which was common a decade or so ago.

Available to download.

Some Reformation: Joe heads to NC

"Just yesterday morning (August 25), after months of prayerful deliberation, the GCI Board met, concluding that we should proceed to implement plans to relocate the Home Office to a yet-to-be-determined location in North Carolina."
Joe Tkach Jr

So the Tkach sect is uprooting again. Oregon (in early Herbal days), Pasadena, Glendora and now an undisclosed location in North Carolina.

Yet-to-be-determined? I don't believe a word of it. Months of prayerful deliberation? You mean back room plotting?

The question is, why the move?

Of course, Joe has an explanation.

"Southern California has served us well, yet over time the cost of living has reached the point where consideration has to be given to relocating."

Cost of living?

"A major consideration for relocation is that we can cut our overhead (i.e., cost of doing business in California) by $500,000 per year. While this may seem reason enough to move out of California, there are other advantages. Our Glendora church property has significantly increased in value; by relocating, we would access some of that accrued equity to go directly into our mission of the gospel proclamation... Another significant factor to consider in relocation is 65% of our congregations are in the eastern half of the continental US... Our management team has been searching for an area with good quality of life and access to more affordable housing for our employees."

Sounds a lot like the reason the Meredith sect gave for relocating to Charlotte. The old boys wanted a nice lifestyle with a nice climate to see them out. Everything else, one suspects, was justification after the fact. Beneath all the PR bullgeschichte that Joe burbles, it'd put good money on similar factors being in play this time too. Could it be that, in the process, Joe can dump some unwanted baggage and set himself up for an even nicer sinecure of a retirement?

"... more affordable housing for our employees"? Really. How many of these lucky employees will have to stay behind in LA to keep close to family? Tough break. Those who own homes in the area? Did they get a vote? Let's not be silly, this is all about Joe & Co. getting their way and devil take the hindmost.

North Carolina is where Armstrong sects go to wither and die. The Ritenbaugh sect (Church of the Great God, Charlotte), the Meredith sect (LCG, Charlotte). Do you think Joe might have (hush, hush sweet) Charlotte in mind too? The possibilities are intriguing; imagine Wednesday night beer and poker with Joe, Richard and Gerry!

Think back to the name change to GCI. Joey had it all prearranged, then they decided to pull a soft PR stunt and take member suggestions into consideration. How thoughtful and consultative. When the dust settled, they still went with a variant of Joe's first choice. Surprise!

Final thought. PG Joe writes about his Board. He gives cute little bios of the members. The one thing he doesn't explain is how these individuals ended up on the board. Elected were they Joe? Or perhaps they were appointed from on high, the angel Moroni descending with the names inscribed on holy scrolls. No, not so likely. Appointed, yes; from on high, yes. On high being Joe's big boy chair in his soon to be relocated office.

Sounds like a Board accountable not to the church, not to the members, but to... guess who? Was there ever any possibility that voices on that board would be raised in opposition to their lord and master?

Some reformation.