Blog Watch - July 11

It's sometimes hard to keep up with the buzz around the collapsing pocket universe of the Churches of God. Here are some recent posts on other blogs that have their finger on the pulse.

Gary (Banned): Rod has written to the faithful telling them to get in behind Gerry Weston. As he always seems to when he's ostensibly singing someone else's praises, Rod begins by rehearsing just what a terrifically important and faithful chap he, Rod, is. Gary raises an eyebrow at the claims in his own inimitable way. There are some excellent comments from readers.

Kathleen (Dying for God's Sake): In case you were tempted to view the old Worldwide Church of God through rose coloured glasses, Kathleen reprises the instructions ministers received regarding sticky healing situations and the law. Dishonest, duplicitous and deceitful only begin to describe the church's policy.

Redfox (Living Armstrongism): 'Redfox' is a more patient man than I, taking the time to carefully go through the 1996 edition of the Global COG booklet, God's Intervention in World Affairs, by Rod Meredith. As the blogger points out, this thing has been around twenty years now, and frankly it hasn't passed the test of time at all well. Mind you, nothing Meredith has written since he began his career as a blowhard in the 1950s has. You'd think he'd have learned a little humility over the decades, but alas not (see Gary's piece above).

Silenced: This is the most technically irritating of all the blogs. Depending on how you hold your mouth it can take over a minute to load, and it defies any attempts to slot it into a regular blog feed - which is the only reason I don't have it listed there - it doesn't work. It'd also be nice to give the blogger a name - or at least a nom-de-plume - but the only identifier on offer is "Silence". All of which is a shame as the writer has interesting and perceptive views to offer. "Sustenance Tithing" asks the question, just how many suckers does it take to finance a small COGlet. I think S has it about right, but would add that there's the 'promiscuity' factor - the tendency for members to drink from more than one poisoned well, so to speak.

All of the above are well worth checking out.

Addendum: from the pro-COG COG News website: "John Jewell died on 29th June, aged 83. He ran the Worldwide Church of God’s printing press in the UK in the 1960s, before being ordained as a pastor. He joined the United Church of God at its formation in 1995, and was appointed CEO of UCG British Isles, after David Hulme had split the church in 1998, taking the large majority of UK members with him.

"He left UCG along with a few other members in 2002, and launched an internet radio website Radio 4 Living. Some of the programmes have also been broadcast on radio in Northern Ireland and Southern Spain."

PCG - Brexit buffoonery

Richard Palmer must have been a very busy little bee providing copy on Brexit as the print deadline for the August issue of the Flurry Trumpet loomed.

August? But it's nary half way into July you protest. Beats me too, but PCG likes to stay ahead of the calendar.

Palmer produced two articles on the hop; What's Next for Britain? and What's Next for Europe? As with all COG pundits, I'm intrigued to know what actual experience and qualifications Richie brings to his analysis. A degree in political science? Years working on the stock exchange? An auntie living in Brussels? Probably not. Just a delusional belief that alcoholic apostle Herb Armstrong was right - even when he was wrong - and Gerry is his prophet.

And make no mistake, the Armstrong name comes up again and again in the Palmer punditry. I have this little technique which makes this level of idolatry just a tad more palatable. For every "Mr. Armstrong", "Herbert Armstrong", "Herbert W. Armstrong" or variations thereof I simply substitute the word Moloch. For variety I'll sometimes go for fishier Dagon. Yes, I know, but it stops me banging my head obsessively against the keyboard.

If you really want to know something about Brexit and the ongoing aftermath, I recommend the excellent online version of The Guardian - just be sure you select the UK edition.

A more comprehensive overview of the August (actually July) Trumpet is available on the Living Armstrongism blog.

The Last Assignment

An obituary to Mac Overton which appeared in the Gilmer Mirror last week is available here.

The Journal - 185th issue

The latest issue of The Journal: News of the Churches of God dated June 30 has been released.

It's a poignant issue with a focus on the late Karl Beyersdorfer and a final contribution from Mac Overton, written just before his death.

Mac was a journalist to the last, writing of his experience in a nursing home, with very human details of nursing care, food and the trials of lukewarm coffee.

There are warm tributes to Karl Beyersdorfer from several individuals who knew him over the years. You get the impression that he was one of the more decent ministers, a man who in many ways "broke the mold", and an individual who was deeply conflicted over a number of issues. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but this must be the most respectful and considered reaction to the suicide of a prominent COG figure on record.

What you can't help notice, though, is that none of the articles comes from an LCG source. While LCG has been circumspect in its reporting of Beyersdorfer's death, it seems they've been very guarded in what they'll say. John Sash writes: "I called Gene Hilgenberg, the Living pastor who gave the Sabbath sermon as well as the funeral sermon, for details of dates for this article. Gene did not return my call."

While the latest crop of COG recruiting magazines seem to have been too far down the editorial pipeline to include references to Brexit, some correspondents to the Journal managed to squeeze their concerns and observations under the deadline wire. Brian Harris provides a precis of what he picked up on news media - which seems a bit pointless. In the letters section Lewis and Kathleen McCann from Milton Keynes applaud the decision to leave the EU and hope for a re-connection with "the Commonwealth countries." Somehow I doubt they mean Uganda.

The list of 2016 Feast of Tabernacles sites now stands at 226 around the planet. Ken Westby has downsized his ACD ministry with smaller premises, and has "ruthlessly got rid of about another thousand books I deemed I could live without." Ken, believe me, I feel your pain. I have a similar task ahead of me having already thinned the shelves somewhat.

Of course there's more. Lifenets, UCG's inability to effect doctrinal change, and two octogenarian COGgers who ended up dead - one murdered in a cemetery, allegedly over a doctrinal (!) dispute, the other (the murderer) in an exchange of gunfire with police. Whatever happened to the Holy Spirit boys?

No mention (that I could find) of the upcoming "Scarborough Fair" which kicks off in a couple of days. I'd have thought that'd be a major story. The LCG punkawallahs should be somewhat preoccupied this month.

You can download the complete issue for yourself.

Happy COG families, parables, Nuclear Neal, and Joel at Armageddon

Break out the milk and cookies, the latest edition of COGWA's not-a-magazine magazine, Discern, is its "happy families" issue.

Happy families? That's always been part of a wholesome PR that goes way back to the seventies, and doubtless beyond that. If you want to know how to break free of the real world, flesh and blood pains and ambiguities of marriage and parenting, do we have good news. Our experts (hack writers) can lead you into the all-American stereotype. Families with flashing white teeth, smiles, the embodiment of niceness and compliance.

Which makes it difficult to explain why so many church kids ditch the whole enterprise just as soon as they're free to walk out the door.

Having said that, there's probably some good advice in this issue. The problem is that good advice is hardly as useful as good example, and how are you going to raise strong, independent, autonomous kids when Mummy and Daddy are doormats to a controlling, high demand sect that tells them what to think?

This edition begins with sagacious advice from the editor, Clyde Kilough. Is Clyde a control freak? I've no idea, but there are a few folk from his days as Beloved Leader at UCG who probably have a well-formed opinion. Becky Sweat has the cover article, 7 Characteristics of Healthy Families. Amazing how that number seven keeps turning up when COG writers want to make a list. It's all very nice, but also somewhat trite (e.g. number 1: A deep commitment to one another).

David Treybig writes on lessons he learned from his parents. Again, there's nothing wrong with what he offers, but it's also fairly platitudinous (e.g. work hard). You might not be surprised to find that "encourage critical thinking" gets missed from the list. At least Dave didn't try to pad it out to the biblical seven. My reaction to number one is a bit jaundiced: "loving authority". Did you say authority?

If  the  Creator  God,  the  being  with  the  most  authority in the universe, can take the time to educate grown-ups on the consequences of their actions, shouldn’t parents do the same for their children?

Now, see, there's the problem Dave, starting with the word 'if' and then moving on to Sky Father imagery. Not that Dave would have a clue what I'm talking about I guess.

Mike Bennett ties in happy families with Sabbath keeping. Sounding semi-enlightened Mike proclaims "The Sabbath was made for man - and families." Maybe he's been dusting off one of the old Bacchiocchi titles. Treybig is back with a piece on the prodigal son parable. It has "overlooked meaning" apparently, so we're all very lucky that Dave can set us straight, courtesy of ten minutes skimming through the Expositor's Bible Commentary.

Jeremy Lallier writes about Putting Character to the Test, based on another parable, the good Samaritan. Then, wouldn't you know it, Mike Bennett is back with the encouraging news that "You can become a Saint!" (in the sense that all Christians are saints). But shouldn't that be you are a Saint?

So far, so vitamin-fortified, family-friendly biblical, but where's the precious (should that be precocious) prophecy? Fear not little flock, Neal Hogberg to the rescue with "New Nuclear Nightmares." Neal rarks up the fear factor, which is, let's face it, the tried and true strategy that has brought home the kosher bacon for COG sects since before the Radio Church of God launched in the 1930s.

Is there more? Erik Jones asks What Did and Didn't Jesus Look Like? (Hint: he had short hair. Yep, I'm as surprised as you aren't.)

No issue of Discern would be complete without a contribution from Joel Meeker. Joel plays on his experience as an amateur archaeologist with a one-page column on the joys of shifting dirt at Armageddon. I'm sure, once he'd finished, he uttered the words "Armageddon outa here!"

You can't read a hard copy issue because it seems COGWA does this on the cheap as a download only. The link at the top will take you to a page where you can do just that. Knock yourself out.

Satan's Alternative Magazine

You've got to give the LCG credit for a catchy title. The July/August issue of Tomorrow's World is themed around the title Satan's Alternative Universe. The world, as LCG brethren know, is a scary, upsetting place full of gun control advocates, gays, liberals, people with swarthy skin tones and Bible scoffers. To quote the Richard Ames editorial: "Truly, for those who are not responsive to Jesus Christ, our present world is descending further and further into outright evil, with the widespread conscious rejection of all that was once held as sacred by those who profess Christ." Verily, verily. Bring back the 1940s!

And wouldn't you know it, Rod Meredith has written the feature article on this very problem.

Very few people understand the significance of the massive changes underway in our entire society. Not since the time of Sodom and Gomorrah have people generally been as confused in so many ways. This is especially so right now because of the massive misuse of technology. By gaining almost total control of the media, a very real Satan the Devil is able to “manipulate” the thinking, the attitudes and the actions of billions of human beings - especially the younger generation.

Poor old Rod, the devil is making 'em do it. The wicked liberal media, the "wet behind the ears" younger folk (for Rod that's probably anyone under fifty). The world is going to hell in a handcart. Things just ain't normal anymore.

Ames is back with an article entitled Seven Keys for Peace of Mind. Fancy that, what with seven being a "biblical number" and all. Key One? "Take Part in the Great Commission." Excellent, that's the trick, send in your tithes without delay!

In the London Calling column by one Simon R.D. Roberts you might expect something on the Brexit issue, but the LCG missed the bus on this as much as their UCG brethren. Simon writes about Dolly the sheep instead.

Rod McNair has a major article on Why Does God Heal? Perhaps a more appropriate question would be "why does God not heal?" given the LCG's obvious misrepresentation of this whole issue. Indeed, you could make an argument that, when it comes to divine blessings, the Eternal has massively underfunded his LCG operation. In fact, Rod the Lesser seems to be intent on building a wall of qualifications and - of course - it's the dullard members who are really to blame.

Do you need divine healing? If you do, be sure not to blame God. Instead, look to Him with gratitude for His whole plan, knowing that He can and does bring about His will in your life, as you look to Him with faith and obedience. 

Translation: suck it up.

Douglas Winnail has been skimming Karen Armstrong's writings on the Axial Age and he isn't happy. Thankfully Dougie is here to put a COGish spin on it.

In stark contrast to the spirit of the Axial Age that looked to human reason, the Bible warns us to “lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). Scholars of comparative religion may speculate that God was revealing universal truths during the Axial Age to thinkers searching for answers within their own minds, but the Scriptures state that the Word of God is the source of truth (Psalm 119:142, 160; John 17:17).

There, so no need to worry about those silly scholars of comparative religion when you have handy, dandy proof texts to offer.

Wally Smith has an anatomical analogy to offer about The Tireless Human Heart. Quote: “Lub-dub... lub-dub... lub-dub...” Deep, Wally, deep.

There's more in the minor features, but that's probably enough to give a feel for this issue.

Available now to download.

Beyond Today... Neanderthal Apologetics

If you were expecting a dedicated Brexit issue of Beyond Today (formerly The Good News) for July/August, you're going to be disappointed. Instead its the tired old sawhorse, evolution. It seems the lads, all keen and bushy-tailed prophecy pundits, were asleep at the wheel, or - just like the Brits - didn't see it coming in time for the mag's release. Who'd have thunked they'd drop the ball on the biggest story of the year thus far?

In fact there's an anti-science whine throughout the issue. Even editor Scott Ashley manages to take a swipe at "the futility of Darwin's theory of evolution" while pouting about the parlous state of public "bathroom" signs. He's talking about toilets of course (why a euphemism like "bathroom" is used so commonly in the US is beyond me).

Mike Kelley kicks off in earnest with Evolution: An Article of Faith. What brilliant qualifications does Mike bring to this topic - other than being an in-house hack? No, I don't know either. Mike is immediately followed by Mario Seiglie who has a track record for writing this kind of guff with Answers from a Famous ex-Atheist about God. The person he's referring to is Anthony Flew who, at a ripe old age, did indeed change his mind. That's notable mainly because it's so unusual.

Then - holy guacamole Batman! - there's an article by a female writer. Scott, are you trying to make a point here? Anyway, Kayleen Schreiber is working on her PhD in neuroscience. Other than that we don't know much about Kayleen. Where is she studying? Is she a UCG member or some kind of generic fundamentalist? Scott clearly thinks you don't need to know. If you're expecting hard science here, think again. Snippet: "God made the physical world so wonderfully complicated that we will be studying it until Jesus Christ returns!"

Just when you thought you might escape from all this creationist drivel, along comes Dan Dowd with An Evolutionary Fantasy: Useless Body Parts.

Now you can relax and let out a short sigh of relief. But not for long as the next article up is Darris McNeely's Is the Bible True? Just what do you mean "true" Darris? As expected Darris takes a broad brush to the question and ends up painting the carpet. "Proof 1", in case you're in any doubt, is "fulfilled prophecy."

Next up it's the World News and Prophecy section. Brexit? What's that? To be fair, there are a couple of dumb references to BoJo the Clown (in an piece about German Leopard tanks):

Britain's next PM?

“The European Union is pursuing a similar goal to Hitler in trying to create a powerful superstate, Boris Johnson says . . . He warns that while bureaucrats in Brussels are using ‘different methods’ from the Nazi dictator, they share the aim of unifying Europe under one ‘authority.’ . . . “The former mayor of London, who is a keen classical scholar, argues that the past 2,000 years of European history have been characterized by repeated attempts to unify Europe under a single government in order to recover the continent’s lost ‘golden age’ under the Romans” (Tim Ross, “Boris Johnson: The EU Wants a Superstate, Just as Hitler Did,” May 15, 2016).

Beyond Today lapped it up. The authors (in the original Telegraph article) also mention that the reference to Hitler is "potentially inflammatory". You think?

Back to the toilet bowl with Tom Robinson sticking his head as far down as he can with an article entitled What's Behind the Transgender Movement? (You'll be as alarmed to know as I am that "bathrooms are just the beginning".) Behind? Movement? Sorry, just my scatological sense of the bizarre.

But wait. Tucked away toward the back of the mag is an article by Milan Bizic (that doesn't sound a very British name does it?) called What Made Britain Great? I looked to see if he mentioned the East India Company or colonial adventurism... but no.

On to a cherry-picked assortment of letters, then John LaBissoniere wrenches out as much significance as he can from the daily chore of washing the dishes.

Egad! Can our eyes be deceiving us? Another article by a female writer. Janet Treadway on Visiting Widows and Widowers in their Affliction. Obviously the drought has broken, even if it's left Scott a gibbering mess in the editorial room.

Robin Webber burbles on about something or other in A Promise is a Promise, and then somebody - perhaps Robin or maybe someone who isn't high-up enough on the totem pole to merit a byline - gets to write a feature entitled How Can You Correctly Understand God's Prophecies and Promises? Quote: "One awesome proof that the Bible is divinely inspired is its perfect harmony and consistency all the way through..." Has this guy actually ever read the Bible?

TV log, back page. Collapse over a coffee and take a moment to feel thankful that this is all a nightmare from the fundamentalist past. Once you've polished off the coffee and peanut brownies, take a drive down the newsstand and pick up copies of National Geographic and New Scientist. You're going to want to flush (ahem) this stuff out of your head as quickly as possible.

Available to download now.

PCG: We're the one

Living Armstrongism has given us an advance peek at the cover of the upcoming (July) Philadelphia Trumpet. No surprise, Gerry, Stephie and the Edmond minions are going to milk Brexit for all it's worth, and then some.

But notice, the emphasis isn't on the searing accuracy of Bible Prophecy. The cover is emphasizing the prophetic gift not of John the Revelator or Dan the Man of lion's den fame, but of... Herb Armstrong. Not that "Bible Prophecy" has a single word to say about Brexit, the EU or any of the other things PCG projects onto the Good Book, but you know what I mean.

So why the Herbolatry? Why not just spread out their favorite proof texts and connect the dots? That's not a Bible quote on the cover, but a carefully selected Herbal snippet. Do they really need to keep genuflecting to the memory of the old one-eyed goat? Well, yes they do, and it says a lot about their growth strategy - or lack thereof.

Who on earth remembers Herb today? Clearly PCG does, along with the most brazen imitators (David Crowl Pack and company), but out there in the wider community Herb is long forgotten. Even UCG is restrained in its references to the so-called apostle.

The reason for the obsequious, idolatrous reverence for Armstrong can be summed up in the word legitimation. Flurry Senior was a very lowly figure in the old WCG. Did Herb even pay much attention to him? PCG has had to spend a lot of time and money demonstrating that Gerry - and only Gerry - has assumed the anointed mantle, despite a total lack of evidence to that effect and given that Herb never passed on to him as much as the steam off the coffee he slurped down on the Day of Atonement. What to do? Prayer rocks, a copycat auditorium, a college emblazoned with the sacred name and reprints of Holy Herbal booklets.

Who are they trying to convince? The big bad outside world that doesn't remember Herb? No. Well, how about ex-members who've been grazing in other pastures - LCG, UCG etc.? While that might seem an obvious conclusion, it seems doubtful. When was the last time you heard of a Meredith devotee jumping the fence into PCG's field? How many UCG members have suddenly seen the light after viewing The Key of David and, shouting loud hosannas as they go, moved into the Edmond orbit?

Not many.

The Trumpet magazine, the Key of David, KPCG... are all designed to shore up the current membership. Anything else is purely for effect. Suggesting they have any kind of outward focus, even to the wider COG community, is largely wishful thinking. They're there to keep the existing tithe slaves content and focused. The message that gets repeated again and again is that PCG is continuing the work of Herbert Armstrong - so stay put.

But there's change coming. Gerry is an old dude and son Stephen is waiting in the wings. Ikkle Stephie has a dilemma; you can really have only one idol on the altar. When Gerry carks it, who will Stephen choose to venerate in prime position, Daddy or Herbie? Gerry is supposedly "that prophet", but his days are numbered. We can expect the usual florid encomiums when he goes the way of all flesh, but the emphasis will then have to move. You can bet that Stephie has already worked that out and has a trajectory in mind. You can also be pretty sure he hasn't confided in the old man.

Meantime, right now the PCG is staying on message. Gerry and Herb, like fish and chips, inseparable. Convenient in that Herb has been dead for decades and can't do what we know he'd have done to Gerry's pretensions if he'd still been alive. In this issue Herb is dragged out of the publishing morgue to testify to his (and by association PCG's) prophetic brilliance. PCG members will lap it up, but the rest of us will probably just sigh a bit and shake our heads.

Brexit: stupid, stupid, stupid

The prophecy pundits are already rattling their tonsils about just how correct their oft-sozzled apostle was (see the cover of the Flurry sect's Trumpet Weekly). The ex-COG commentators are busy responding.

The one comforting thought as Britain shot itself in the foot this week was that stupid prophetic speculation wasn't a factor. A few thousand voters may have been directly influenced by this kind of dispensationalist nonsense, but the size of the winning margin made them totally irrelevant.

While the drama unfolded in the small hours in Europe, those of us half a world away - and lucky enough to have both the time and the technology to do so - could follow events over the course of daylight hours. I monitored BBC coverage (BBC News channel and World Service radio) to start with then moved across to ITV. For light relief I cushioned my disbelief with a panel discussion on Channel 5 once the results were known.

It's increasingly clear that a few old adages are appropriate: (1) be careful what you wish for, and (2) repent at leisure.

Brexit was a project of the far right (think Nigel Farage) appropriated by some of the vilest, self-serving figures in the Conservative Party establishment, think Boris Johnson. David Cameron took on the referendum for purely mercenary political motives and will now go down in history as one of country's worst Prime Ministers.

The reality is that the disadvantaged demographic in England and Wales that fell for the dog-whistle anti-immigration rhetoric - believing the unbelievable promises about prosperity and increased social funding - will now be the first to feel the effects of a downturn that they voted for. Labour was utterly ineffectual - and internally divided - in presenting an alternate, realistic narrative.

And so, what will happen over Gibraltar?

More importantly, what will the effect be of dropping a lighted match on the delicate equilibrium in Northern Ireland?

How will the Scots respond? A version of the Danish enigma (Denmark belongs to the EU but two territories - the Faroe Islands and Greenland - don't) or a fuller independence?

The scary thing is that many British voters simply didn't think through the consequences, and particularly the baby boomers, sucking at the teat of nostalgia and a world that has now passed into history.

I'd be surprised if Johnson is ever elected Prime Minister - though he may be appointed after Cameron - as he has alienated young Brits. As reality hits home to the rest of the community it's unlikely that he'll ever be flavour of the month. He can expect a lot more booing.

Prophecy? No. Stupidity? Yes, in spades.

(Last) Days of Our Lives

Gary has been providing his usual excellent coverage of events in LCG, including the preliminaries to the upcoming Scarborough lawsuit which officially kicks off on July 11. This summary from the pro-COG COG News.

Gerald Weston and his wife plan to move into their new home in Charlotte, North Carolina, on July 15, ready for him to take over the daily administration of the church on Monday the 18th.

Over 200 subpoenas have been issued to LCG members (including ministers) for their depositions by the attorney acting for Patrick and Elizabeth Scarborough, who are suing Rod Meredith and Rod McNair personally, and as officials of the Living Church of God, for Defamation of Character and ‘Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress’.

Lucky Gerry. And interesting timing. Has Gerry been handed a poisoned chalice?