“Thou shalt discretely worship Herbert, Ted and Stan all the days of thy sojourn in their beautiful garden which they have created with thy tithes. And thou shalt not cross them or say any manner of truth against them openly for their sake. And if thou wilt close thine eyes, stop thine ears, button thy mouth and dig deeply into thy pocket when thou hearest the oft recurring and hallowed words ‘FINANCIAL CRISIS’, ‘OPEN DOOR’ and ‘GUN LAP’ then thou hast truly become a dumb sheep, and thou wilt be able to explain away all the mysteries of why thou dost allow thy Trinity of Herbert, Ted and Stan to fleece thee cheerfully as thou dost. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad for great is their reward. By sacrificing thy mind, thy will and especially thy money, thy Trinity and Evangelists do indulge themselves in all the sins that thou, a dumb sheep, hast been forbidden on every Sabbath day.”

-Author Unknown